[Not an easy guy to get a lot out of, but neither was her poor disappeared dumbass inmate. He was more verbose, admittedly, but the information content was about the same.]
[At least he hasn't stopped answering entirely and walked away! Progress.
He gives her a small, rueful smile.]
Big stupid life reasons. It's...Fred offered to make the request for me, but I felt like maybe I needed to figure out some stuff about who I am without 'em first. Except then, she was just...gone.
[If the Admiral lost her inmate, then...they're truly gone, just like Fred. His expression falls in sympathy, but he's glad she goes on so he doesn't have to figure out what to say.
His entire reaction to the appearance of her wings is a curious tilt of his head - after all, his boyfriend does this daily, except Sephiroth only has the one.]
Huh. Yeah, guess that's about where I'm at. Sucks shit now, but I'm hoping it'll help...at some point. S'why I come here so much. Ethan tells me I work too hard, but...gotta try to get back as much of that strength as I can on my own.
[He glances down at his hand as it curls into a fist for just a moment before it relaxes again. His friends would say he's made some progress, but he really doesn't feel like he's learned much more about himself than he already knew, so far.]
Hm. Not sure I'd go that far. Does seem like nobody comes here from a boring, normal life, though. One way or another.
[No inmates who are here just for a little harmless shoplifting, no wardens who don't have strong opinions about existential or ethical questions. Makes sense to Cloud.]
It works at least some of the time. Only difference between me and an inmate is I managed not to bleed out before my second chance found me. Might have woken up here if Chuck hadn't shown up and been a sap.
Now? My girlfriend. Then, just the weirdo who found my half dead ass and scraped me off the street in the middle of a disaster. But all I'd done then was hesitate. Once. The punishment was pretty brutal, sure, but that wasn't redemption.
Hell of a romantic first meeting. Then again, my partner thinks the first time I killed him was our 'crowning moment together,' so I really got no room to talk.
[Are sins ever forgiven? He doesn't know what the answer was the first time, but Vincent must have figured it out for himself eventually, since he's a warden here. And...Vaggie's point rings true if he thinks about it in those terms. The only difference between Vincent and Cloud is that Vincent's nigh impossible to kill, so he didn't die before his second chance (third, really, but who's counting) came around.]
...my commanding officer burnt down my hometown and impaled me on his sword, and then tried to wipe out humanity.
[The tone is lighter than maybe it should be, more of an attempt at solidarity than anything else.]
Resourceful. I like it. That time this guy impaled me, I used his sword to chuck him into a mako reactor.
[For better or worse, there's no cognitive dissonance over talking like this about Sephiroth, because they've gotten into the habit of making morbid jokes about this kind of thing between the two of them anyway. Weirdly, Cloud thinks it's helped.
Also, Sephiroth literally likes it when Cloud kills him. So...there's that.]
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[He has been doing more straight up training on the Barge than he had in years before that, but he still would rather actually fight.]
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[And he'd better keep working on it, because who knows when he'll get another permanent warden? It took a whole damn year the first time.]
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Don't have a choice.
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Barge reasons or big stupid life reasons?
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He gives her a small, rueful smile.]
Big stupid life reasons. It's...Fred offered to make the request for me, but I felt like maybe I needed to figure out some stuff about who I am without 'em first. Except then, she was just...gone.
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[Eh, what the hell.]
And, well.
[She pops her wings.]
I lost these the same time as my eye. I think going without actually was good for me, in a weird way. But only long-term. Sucked shit at the time.
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His entire reaction to the appearance of her wings is a curious tilt of his head - after all, his boyfriend does this daily, except Sephiroth only has the one.]
Huh. Yeah, guess that's about where I'm at. Sucks shit now, but I'm hoping it'll help...at some point. S'why I come here so much. Ethan tells me I work too hard, but...gotta try to get back as much of that strength as I can on my own.
[He glances down at his hand as it curls into a fist for just a moment before it relaxes again. His friends would say he's made some progress, but he really doesn't feel like he's learned much more about himself than he already knew, so far.]
Mind if I ask how you lost 'em?
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[Cloud's frown and tone suggest he has more empathy for that situation than his casual words might.]
Seems like a history of commanding officers betraying their soldiers is pretty common on the Barge, from what I've heard. I'm no exception.
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Actually, no, people who have a history of any good relationships are pretty rare here.
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[No inmates who are here just for a little harmless shoplifting, no wardens who don't have strong opinions about existential or ethical questions. Makes sense to Cloud.]
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Heh. Maybe you got a point. But who better to help fuckups than the other fuckups who've already figured out some of their shit?
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...you really think so?
[Then, after a moment,]
Who's Chuck?
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[Are sins ever forgiven? He doesn't know what the answer was the first time, but Vincent must have figured it out for himself eventually, since he's a warden here. And...Vaggie's point rings true if he thinks about it in those terms. The only difference between Vincent and Cloud is that Vincent's nigh impossible to kill, so he didn't die before his second chance (third, really, but who's counting) came around.]
...my commanding officer burnt down my hometown and impaled me on his sword, and then tried to wipe out humanity.
[The tone is lighter than maybe it should be, more of an attempt at solidarity than anything else.]
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And being used to hell gives her a high threshold for weird.]
Sounds like they'd get along great with Lute. Huge bitch. I dropped most of a wall on her last time we faced off.
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Resourceful. I like it. That time this guy impaled me, I used his sword to chuck him into a mako reactor.
[For better or worse, there's no cognitive dissonance over talking like this about Sephiroth, because they've gotten into the habit of making morbid jokes about this kind of thing between the two of them anyway. Weirdly, Cloud thinks it's helped.
Also, Sephiroth literally likes it when Cloud kills him. So...there's that.]