Cloud stares at it. Now that she's said it, the memory comes flooding back - the warm scent of hazelnut and strawberries and almonds wafting in from the kitchen, the way he would sit at the table watching her ice the finished cake with a little spatula, the way he would insist on having the first bite and she would oblige him with a laugh...]
...you wanna come in?
[Can't eat cake standing in the corridor, after all.]
[Turns out, Aerith has nothing to worry about - the cat scampers well away from her the moment the door's open. Cloud glances after it.]
Dunno what his problem is. Just ignore him.
[It's a 'him' now, he guesses.
He leads them over to the bar, which is what Cloud's got in terms of places to eat in here, and pulls out a stool for her before stepping over to find his own. Not too close, but not too far.
...it's only then that he notices something's changed. He slowly lifts his gaze to look up at the wall behind the bar, taking a few steps back instead of sitting down. A faint sound of surprise, maybe awe, escapes him.]
[Oh, there it goes. Bemused, she watches it go off and do...cat things, she guesses.
She nods, and walks in, making to gently set the cake down before hopping up onto the stool. Only when Cloud calls attention to it does she look up. Surprised, Aerith peers at it for a few moments before turning her head to look at Cloud.]
Nope, not me. I wished I thought of it.
[This was a really nice gift though. She hopes this too makes Cloud happy.]
[The response is immediate, but then Cloud's quiet for a long moment, just looking closely at all the details in the mural. Many of his memories might be hazy and jumbled, but he remembers this - everyday life in a small mountain village where nothing important ever happened, according to his younger self. And it may look like the same place they visited on their travels to Aerith, but to Cloud they're worlds apart. The little wooden stand where the ladies used to hawk their pork sandwiches. The way the eaves of certain houses drooped under the weight of age. The hunters with their shotguns and rifles stationed around the town's perimeter, keeping a constant vigil against the fiends coming down from the mountains. The beat-up truck that was the town's only motor vehicle, shared among the farmers and construction workers to haul supplies and crops back and forth to wherever they needed to go.
Cloud doesn't think of Nibelheim as 'home' anymore - hasn't for a long time. For a long time, all those feelings had gone up in smoke along with the rest, and Nibelheim was a place of horror and loss instead. It was difficult to see it as it had been before the fire in his mind's eye. But standing here, looking at the village exactly as it used to be, with the scent of his mom's favorite cake filling his nose...it's impossible not to remember it that way. And impossible not to think of Tifa, of how she might feel if she were here looking at this. Of what she and Marlene and Denzel might be doing now. What Denzel might think of Nibelheim, if somehow he were ever to go there. Boring, probably. That's certainly what Cloud used to think when he was Denzel's age...
He realizes he's been quiet too long and tears his eyes away from the mural, shaking his head a little and clearing his throat.]
[There he is. The Cloud she knew, sweet, if looking at the world that he once knew. She wonders what it would have been like, loving out in the country. Would her childhood been just as happy in the end? Would she been able to find flowers she could have lovingly tended for years?
She doesn't know. And really, it doesn't matter. Her eyes drift over to Cloud, and sees how much it means to him.
But gently, she moves to touch his hand and stop him.]
No- it's okay.
[She's quick to move her hand away, and makes to slide off of her stool. Sitting here-no. It wasn't right. This was his private space, and she was acting as if everything was normal.
It wasn't. Even with what she now knew, thanks to Vincent. It was Cloud's birthday, and this gift wasn't going to have any strings attached. No emotional turmoil. None of that.
That wasn't what a friend would do.]
I just came by to drop off the cake. And, well, to wish you a happy birthday.
[He allows it with a quiet little sigh of relief.]
You never could.
[He'll always welcome her, no matter what.
He drops his hand after a moment to do what he was going to do - fetch plates and forks. That much of the bar supplies came along with the bar itself, at least. The best he can do for a knife to cut the cake with is a butter knife, but it's good enough to work with. He cuts her a slice first, then himself. He sits back down, fork in hand, but he doesn't try it just yet.]
This was the cake my mom always made for my birthdays back then. Brought it to a gathering once or twice, too, but the village didn't invite us to many of those.
[This, at least, isn't particularly melancholy. Just recalling.]
So it was really just for us. And we were okay with that. Though I did bring Tifa a slice or two on the DL.
[He takes a forkful of cake and eats it slowly, eyes closing. He doesn't open them again until a long moment after he's swallowed it, and then he gives the cake a little nod.]
[She offers a gentle huff, but she's smiling. He always let her in, no matter if she pushed, no matter if she pulled. He just let her do whatever she wanted. And she...he held such a precious place in her heart.
Aerith only wanted to pull and push when he needed it. When he wanted it.
And he opened up to her, explaining the cake, how precious it was. She was glad she made this request.
It made her smile, and she almost forgot the slice in front of her.
So she takes her fork, and she takes a bite. And the taste flows over her tongue, bursting with strawberries, hazelnuts- the taste of Cloud's childhood.]
I should have asked for the recipe too. This is...really, really good.
[The hints of a proud smile sneak onto Cloud's face as he watches her taste it.]
Yeah. Mom was a great baker. Cook, too. She taught me a little, so I could help her out. Single mom in a small town - she needed the help.
[It's been so long since he's talked to anyone about any of this. It rarely comes up with Tifa anymore - came up with Tifa - because they'd already done all the reminiscing they needed to and they were focused on the future. Or at least, Cloud was trying to be. It's kinda nice to be able to just sit and tell someone about it for no reason more dire than sharing his birthday with her.
He takes another slow bite, and then puts his fork down.]
Nah, not really. I can mix batter with the best of 'em, though. Taste test like a pro.
[Cloud doesn't move his hand away. Far from it - he reaches over with his other hand to gently rest it on top of hers.]
It's not selfish to take the time and space you need.
[Unless you're Cloud and you take way more than you need. But that's another story.]
I just...wanna come clean. You deserve to know why things were the way they were. Why I was...the way I was. But only when you're ready. Doesn't have to be now.
Heh. Sure. Maybe...apple cinnamon bread. Another Mom staple. Gotta go apple picking first, though.
[Not that they can keep any apples they pick in the Enclosure, but so what? It's the experience that matters. Wow, he hasn't thought about that bread in forever. But he remembers that it was delicious.
He gazes back down at her, at the resolution in her eyes, the certainty. And he nods.]
Okay. Mm...you remember what I told you about what happened in Nibelheim, right?
Right. But at the time, I didn't remember how it happened. There were a lot of things I didn't remember, and things I remembered...differently from how they really went. Tifa and the others helped me restore my memory before Meteorfall.
[Cloud wonders what Zack's told her, if anything. Wonders if she knows how Zack died, or even that he did definitely die. Nothing for it but to keep going.]
It...wasn't just me and Sephiroth on that mission. It wasn't my mission at all. I was just there on security detail. The other SOLDIER in Nibelheim that day...it was Zack. He was my friend. Best friend I had. Only friend I had, really. Aerith...I never was in SOLDIER. Never made it, not for lack of trying. Everything I told you about...being First Class, joining the program after the war ended, all of that. It was all a lie. I just...didn't realize it.
[His gaze has dropped by then to their hands clasped on the bartop.]
[She wished she had been with Tifa and the others to help him out. But then, she hadn't known how much they had gone through to bring him back together before saving the world.
But it confirms what Vincent told her. But it still hurts her heart to hear him confess.
Gently, she puts her hand on top of his. And both hands squeeze his.]
Cloud...
[She sighed quietly, before shaking her head.]
You did more then any SOLIDER could. Still do more.
[People keep telling him that, and he knows it's technically true, but...to him, it's less about whether or not he was a SOLDIER and more about the shame of having lived such a revealing, egregious lie for so long.
But he knows what Aerith's trying to say, and he appreciates it. So he squeezes her hands lightly back.]
Thanks. If that were the only lie I lived, maybe I wouldn't be here. But...there's more.
[He's glad to have her hands there to hold onto. It's grounding. Easier not to get swept up in the past this way.]
Tifa and the other villagers never knew I was even there that day. I felt so humiliated by my failure, after all the boasting I did that I was gonna be a SOLDIER, that...I kept my helmet on. Never talked to Tifa at all. I should've told her everything then, but... [He shakes his head.] Did visit my mom, though. Sephiroth gave me the rest of the day off so I could.
...heh. That night, Zack was so excited about the mission he could barely sleep. Kept me up with his stories and chatter, but I didn't mind one bit. He talked about you, y'know. Gushed, really. He couldn't wait to get back to Midgar to see you again.
The ribbon... [Cloud glances back at it, nestled in her hair as always.] That was from Zack?
[He can't help glancing down at the matching one he wears around his right bicep. They really were all so connected, weren't they? And she wears pink all the time now...that was for Zack, too, he supposes. No wonder she was immediately drawn to Cloud when they met. That torch was really burning bright, and he never knew. It's a sobering thought, but not one for right now.
Right now, he has more truths to lay bare.]
Most of what happened on the hike up Mt. Nibel, I had right, except of course it was Zack who chatted with Sephiroth and showed off his fiend-killing skills for us. [That has the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips.] I loved watching him fight. It was impressive, sure, but to me, he was an inspiration. I thought, if I could figure out how to be more like Zack, maybe then I'd make SOLDIER. Become a hero. ...embrace my dreams, like he always said.
I did my part, though. Even saved Zack once or twice - he kept turning his back on the enemies without making sure they were dead first. And I was a damn good shot with a rifle. [That much, he can be proud of now, after the fact.]
Up at the reactor...I never went inside that day. I was the one who stayed out front to keep an eye on Tifa. But everything I told you about what happened in there was true.
Uh huh. He bought for me- as a gift. I'd helped him when we met and...that was the start of everything.
[It's funny to confess it. It seems so long ago now, for so many. But she still remembered. Still keeps two pieces of her heart right there- one, from her mother, the other from her love. It was little wonder she was drawn to him, maybe as much as he was to her. Zack was what brought them together, even after his death.
Maybe Cloud was a person Zack had mentioned, during one of their many calls. Not when it was just the two of them, she thought. That time- it was for each other.
But she listened quietly. Zack...shining brightly. Eliminating threats, filled with honor and hope. There was a worse person to take after, fight like, then Zack Fair.
Hearing that Cloud had to come in later...after Zack fought Sephiroth, a man he no doubt admired greatly...that had to be hard for both of them.]
You still were there, in the end right? And you helped Zack, were his friend.
[More then any other SOLIDER. Technical details aside.]
But...Cloud, there were years when you two went missing.
[Is he ready? She doesn't know. But she'll listen.]
[Zack brought them together...in some ways, that's what Cloud's worried about. But now's not the time for that. Not yet.]
Mm. When Sephiroth went back up there to take Jenova's head, I did follow him, but by the time I got there, Zack had already fought him and lost. I stabbed Sephiroth with Zack's sword. Buster was his, not mine. Sephiroth was pissed, Zack told me to finish him off, so...I did. Threw him into the reactor. But Zack and I both would've bled out, except...Hojo took us to his lab.
[This is harder to talk about. He still doesn't remember most of that time, not in detail. But it's important, and she has to know. His eyes are fixed on the bartop, now.]
We were there for four years before Zack got us out. Experimented on us the same way he experimented on the other survivors, but Zack was pretty much immune to the worst of it.
[His expression twists into something darker.]
Not me, though. No idea how long it took, but by the time Zack busted us out, I'd been out of commission for a while already. Severe mako poisoning. Hojo figured I wouldn't survive. I shouldn't have. But...Zack took me with him. On the run for another year or so, always on the move, nowhere was safe, but he...he still dragged my useless ass all over the continent. Even though the chances I'd ever recover were close to none. He...kept me alive, kept me safe, that whole time.
[Cloud has to pause; he can feel his throat tightening up and he doesn't want to cry. Not here, not now.]
He got lost in the slums. I helped him find his way back up to the plates.
[And a couple of other things, but that was the gist of it. She goes quiet again, listening to the background. So...Cloud had finished him off. Threw him in even, which made her lips quirked. That sounded like something Cloud would do.
But the experiments...she winces, and her grip tightens on his hands briefly. Oh. She knows. She knows it very well.
She supposed Zack had already been augmented. It might have been it. But...four years. Four years. That had to be so hard on both of them.
And mako poisoning...that would explain the mako blue of Cloud's eyes.]
And you beat the odds. Again, and again. Cloud...
I know you don't want to hear this but...you really are amazing.
Got lost...course he did. [Cloud's tone is fond; Zack is many things, but a savvy navigator, he is not.
Aerith is right: Cloud really doesn't want to hear that he's amazing. Not for this. Not for surviving this. He shakes his head, jaw clenched, but he still holds onto her hands.]
I didn't beat shit. It was all Zack. Worked himself to exhaustion keeping us both out of Shinra's grasp. ...he had a plan. I kinda remember bits and pieces of that year, more closer to the end of it. He told me we were gonna become mercs together in Midgar.
[We're friends, right?]
And he was headed back to Midgar to see you. If...if it wasn't for me slowing him down, he would've gotten back to you so much sooner. Would've gotten back to you at all. Instead, he...
[No, he has to stop again. He finds himself squeezing Aerith's hands a little too tightly and quickly eases up, taking in a slightly shaky breath and letting it out, swallowing hard. He's gotta get through this story. She has to know.]
...Zack died...because of me. We were so close, but Shinra caught up to us. Sent in the army. And Zack, he...
[The price of freedom is steep.]
He fought them all. All by himself. Held them off. Protected me, knowing there was no getting out of there alive. Knowing it might all be for nothing. And I...knew, when he walked away, he wasn't coming back. Wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. Couldn't do anything.
[He's told the story before, but never to the love of Zack's life. Never to a woman who loved Zack so much she waited for him for five long years, hoping against hope that he was still alive and would come back to her.
Except he wasn't, and never would. Because of Cloud.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Cloud stares at it. Now that she's said it, the memory comes flooding back - the warm scent of hazelnut and strawberries and almonds wafting in from the kitchen, the way he would sit at the table watching her ice the finished cake with a little spatula, the way he would insist on having the first bite and she would oblige him with a laugh...]
...you wanna come in?
[Can't eat cake standing in the corridor, after all.]
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[For Cloud...she wanted his birthday to feel special. That the past wouldn't be full of terrible things.
And a cake made by her? Didn't feel like it would cut it.
So she follows him in, careful to mind the cat. It would be terrible if she dropped such a precious gift.]
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Dunno what his problem is. Just ignore him.
[It's a 'him' now, he guesses.
He leads them over to the bar, which is what Cloud's got in terms of places to eat in here, and pulls out a stool for her before stepping over to find his own. Not too close, but not too far.
...it's only then that he notices something's changed. He slowly lifts his gaze to look up at the wall behind the bar, taking a few steps back instead of sitting down. A faint sound of surprise, maybe awe, escapes him.]
This is...did you...?
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She nods, and walks in, making to gently set the cake down before hopping up onto the stool. Only when Cloud calls attention to it does she look up. Surprised, Aerith peers at it for a few moments before turning her head to look at Cloud.]
Nope, not me. I wished I thought of it.
[This was a really nice gift though. She hopes this too makes Cloud happy.]
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[The response is immediate, but then Cloud's quiet for a long moment, just looking closely at all the details in the mural. Many of his memories might be hazy and jumbled, but he remembers this - everyday life in a small mountain village where nothing important ever happened, according to his younger self. And it may look like the same place they visited on their travels to Aerith, but to Cloud they're worlds apart. The little wooden stand where the ladies used to hawk their pork sandwiches. The way the eaves of certain houses drooped under the weight of age. The hunters with their shotguns and rifles stationed around the town's perimeter, keeping a constant vigil against the fiends coming down from the mountains. The beat-up truck that was the town's only motor vehicle, shared among the farmers and construction workers to haul supplies and crops back and forth to wherever they needed to go.
Cloud doesn't think of Nibelheim as 'home' anymore - hasn't for a long time. For a long time, all those feelings had gone up in smoke along with the rest, and Nibelheim was a place of horror and loss instead. It was difficult to see it as it had been before the fire in his mind's eye. But standing here, looking at the village exactly as it used to be, with the scent of his mom's favorite cake filling his nose...it's impossible not to remember it that way. And impossible not to think of Tifa, of how she might feel if she were here looking at this. Of what she and Marlene and Denzel might be doing now. What Denzel might think of Nibelheim, if somehow he were ever to go there. Boring, probably. That's certainly what Cloud used to think when he was Denzel's age...
He realizes he's been quiet too long and tears his eyes away from the mural, shaking his head a little and clearing his throat.]
...sorry. I'll get some dishes.
[And he goes to do that.]
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She doesn't know. And really, it doesn't matter. Her eyes drift over to Cloud, and sees how much it means to him.
But gently, she moves to touch his hand and stop him.]
No- it's okay.
[She's quick to move her hand away, and makes to slide off of her stool. Sitting here-no. It wasn't right. This was his private space, and she was acting as if everything was normal.
It wasn't. Even with what she now knew, thanks to Vincent. It was Cloud's birthday, and this gift wasn't going to have any strings attached. No emotional turmoil. None of that.
That wasn't what a friend would do.]
I just came by to drop off the cake. And, well, to wish you a happy birthday.
That's all.
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Don't--
[He lifts a hand as if to reach for her, but he doesn't want to force anything, so he doesn't finish the movement.]
...please don't go. Let me share it with you.
[I don't want to be alone.]
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Well.
Aerith pauses, and comes back. His hand reaching for her. Aerith reaches out slowly, and offers a gentle touch, fingers to fingers.
If he allows it that is.]
I'd be happy to. I just- I didn't want to intrude.
no subject
You never could.
[He'll always welcome her, no matter what.
He drops his hand after a moment to do what he was going to do - fetch plates and forks. That much of the bar supplies came along with the bar itself, at least. The best he can do for a knife to cut the cake with is a butter knife, but it's good enough to work with. He cuts her a slice first, then himself. He sits back down, fork in hand, but he doesn't try it just yet.]
This was the cake my mom always made for my birthdays back then. Brought it to a gathering once or twice, too, but the village didn't invite us to many of those.
[This, at least, isn't particularly melancholy. Just recalling.]
So it was really just for us. And we were okay with that. Though I did bring Tifa a slice or two on the DL.
[He takes a forkful of cake and eats it slowly, eyes closing. He doesn't open them again until a long moment after he's swallowed it, and then he gives the cake a little nod.]
Yeah. It's just right.
[Then he looks at Aerith.]
Your turn.
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Aerith only wanted to pull and push when he needed it. When he wanted it.
And he opened up to her, explaining the cake, how precious it was. She was glad she made this request.
It made her smile, and she almost forgot the slice in front of her.
So she takes her fork, and she takes a bite. And the taste flows over her tongue, bursting with strawberries, hazelnuts- the taste of Cloud's childhood.]
I should have asked for the recipe too. This is...really, really good.
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Yeah. Mom was a great baker. Cook, too. She taught me a little, so I could help her out. Single mom in a small town - she needed the help.
[It's been so long since he's talked to anyone about any of this. It rarely comes up with Tifa anymore - came up with Tifa - because they'd already done all the reminiscing they needed to and they were focused on the future. Or at least, Cloud was trying to be. It's kinda nice to be able to just sit and tell someone about it for no reason more dire than sharing his birthday with her.
He takes another slow bite, and then puts his fork down.]
Aerith...I'm sorry. About what I said, before.
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[She likes it. It's not a rush or a push. The weight of the world isn't on them.
It's just two people celebrating a birthday. They can be just two people. No Barge. No tragedy. Just them. But...that too, needed to be said.
Slowly, Aerith reached over to touch the back of Cloud's hand.]
I'm sorry too. I didn't let you talk.
It was really selfish of me.
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[Cloud doesn't move his hand away. Far from it - he reaches over with his other hand to gently rest it on top of hers.]
It's not selfish to take the time and space you need.
[Unless you're Cloud and you take way more than you need. But that's another story.]
I just...wanna come clean. You deserve to know why things were the way they were. Why I was...the way I was. But only when you're ready. Doesn't have to be now.
no subject
[Cupcakes, cake, anything. Anything that'd be fun.
She could argue too that she went about it the wrong way but no. They both hurt each other. That was enough.
And she doesn't want to pull away from his hands.]
It can be now. The Greenhouse helped.
[She had dirt under her hands, and working as hard as she could? Helped.
She looked up into his face, into the eyes she adored so much. This time, she was confident. She could handle it.]
I'm ready.
no subject
[Not that they can keep any apples they pick in the Enclosure, but so what? It's the experience that matters. Wow, he hasn't thought about that bread in forever. But he remembers that it was delicious.
He gazes back down at her, at the resolution in her eyes, the certainty. And he nods.]
Okay. Mm...you remember what I told you about what happened in Nibelheim, right?
no subject
[Even if they have to go to the Enclosure for apple picking, it'll be worth the experience.
Ah. And here comes the tough part. She takes in a deep breath and nods.]
Yeah. I remember. It was...really bad.
[To put it mildly.]
When Sephiroth died, right?
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[Cloud wonders what Zack's told her, if anything. Wonders if she knows how Zack died, or even that he did definitely die. Nothing for it but to keep going.]
It...wasn't just me and Sephiroth on that mission. It wasn't my mission at all. I was just there on security detail. The other SOLDIER in Nibelheim that day...it was Zack. He was my friend. Best friend I had. Only friend I had, really. Aerith...I never was in SOLDIER. Never made it, not for lack of trying. Everything I told you about...being First Class, joining the program after the war ended, all of that. It was all a lie. I just...didn't realize it.
[His gaze has dropped by then to their hands clasped on the bartop.]
no subject
But it confirms what Vincent told her. But it still hurts her heart to hear him confess.
Gently, she puts her hand on top of his. And both hands squeeze his.]
Cloud...
[She sighed quietly, before shaking her head.]
You did more then any SOLIDER could. Still do more.
Honestly...you'll always be first class to me.
no subject
But he knows what Aerith's trying to say, and he appreciates it. So he squeezes her hands lightly back.]
Thanks. If that were the only lie I lived, maybe I wouldn't be here. But...there's more.
[He's glad to have her hands there to hold onto. It's grounding. Easier not to get swept up in the past this way.]
Tifa and the other villagers never knew I was even there that day. I felt so humiliated by my failure, after all the boasting I did that I was gonna be a SOLDIER, that...I kept my helmet on. Never talked to Tifa at all. I should've told her everything then, but... [He shakes his head.] Did visit my mom, though. Sephiroth gave me the rest of the day off so I could.
...heh. That night, Zack was so excited about the mission he could barely sleep. Kept me up with his stories and chatter, but I didn't mind one bit. He talked about you, y'know. Gushed, really. He couldn't wait to get back to Midgar to see you again.
no subject
But she listens. Listens to his shame of hiding his face to his hometown; hoe he did get to see his mom one last time.
Though hearing that she'd been bragged about...her face warms, and she ducked her head.]
We were going to go on a date when he came back.
[It's a shy admission. But honest all the same.]
I told him I'd wear pink for him. It'd go with the ribbon he gave me when we met.
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[He can't help glancing down at the matching one he wears around his right bicep. They really were all so connected, weren't they? And she wears pink all the time now...that was for Zack, too, he supposes. No wonder she was immediately drawn to Cloud when they met. That torch was really burning bright, and he never knew. It's a sobering thought, but not one for right now.
Right now, he has more truths to lay bare.]
Most of what happened on the hike up Mt. Nibel, I had right, except of course it was Zack who chatted with Sephiroth and showed off his fiend-killing skills for us. [That has the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips.] I loved watching him fight. It was impressive, sure, but to me, he was an inspiration. I thought, if I could figure out how to be more like Zack, maybe then I'd make SOLDIER. Become a hero. ...embrace my dreams, like he always said.
I did my part, though. Even saved Zack once or twice - he kept turning his back on the enemies without making sure they were dead first. And I was a damn good shot with a rifle. [That much, he can be proud of now, after the fact.]
Up at the reactor...I never went inside that day. I was the one who stayed out front to keep an eye on Tifa. But everything I told you about what happened in there was true.
no subject
[It's funny to confess it. It seems so long ago now, for so many. But she still remembered. Still keeps two pieces of her heart right there- one, from her mother, the other from her love. It was little wonder she was drawn to him, maybe as much as he was to her. Zack was what brought them together, even after his death.
Maybe Cloud was a person Zack had mentioned, during one of their many calls. Not when it was just the two of them, she thought. That time- it was for each other.
But she listened quietly. Zack...shining brightly. Eliminating threats, filled with honor and hope. There was a worse person to take after, fight like, then Zack Fair.
Hearing that Cloud had to come in later...after Zack fought Sephiroth, a man he no doubt admired greatly...that had to be hard for both of them.]
You still were there, in the end right? And you helped Zack, were his friend.
[More then any other SOLIDER. Technical details aside.]
But...Cloud, there were years when you two went missing.
[Is he ready? She doesn't know. But she'll listen.]
no subject
[Zack brought them together...in some ways, that's what Cloud's worried about. But now's not the time for that. Not yet.]
Mm. When Sephiroth went back up there to take Jenova's head, I did follow him, but by the time I got there, Zack had already fought him and lost. I stabbed Sephiroth with Zack's sword. Buster was his, not mine. Sephiroth was pissed, Zack told me to finish him off, so...I did. Threw him into the reactor. But Zack and I both would've bled out, except...Hojo took us to his lab.
[This is harder to talk about. He still doesn't remember most of that time, not in detail. But it's important, and she has to know. His eyes are fixed on the bartop, now.]
We were there for four years before Zack got us out. Experimented on us the same way he experimented on the other survivors, but Zack was pretty much immune to the worst of it.
[His expression twists into something darker.]
Not me, though. No idea how long it took, but by the time Zack busted us out, I'd been out of commission for a while already. Severe mako poisoning. Hojo figured I wouldn't survive. I shouldn't have. But...Zack took me with him. On the run for another year or so, always on the move, nowhere was safe, but he...he still dragged my useless ass all over the continent. Even though the chances I'd ever recover were close to none. He...kept me alive, kept me safe, that whole time.
[Cloud has to pause; he can feel his throat tightening up and he doesn't want to cry. Not here, not now.]
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[And a couple of other things, but that was the gist of it. She goes quiet again, listening to the background. So...Cloud had finished him off. Threw him in even, which made her lips quirked. That sounded like something Cloud would do.
But the experiments...she winces, and her grip tightens on his hands briefly. Oh. She knows. She knows it very well.
She supposed Zack had already been augmented. It might have been it. But...four years. Four years. That had to be so hard on both of them.
And mako poisoning...that would explain the mako blue of Cloud's eyes.]
And you beat the odds. Again, and again. Cloud...
I know you don't want to hear this but...you really are amazing.
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Aerith is right: Cloud really doesn't want to hear that he's amazing. Not for this. Not for surviving this. He shakes his head, jaw clenched, but he still holds onto her hands.]
I didn't beat shit. It was all Zack. Worked himself to exhaustion keeping us both out of Shinra's grasp. ...he had a plan. I kinda remember bits and pieces of that year, more closer to the end of it. He told me we were gonna become mercs together in Midgar.
[We're friends, right?]
And he was headed back to Midgar to see you. If...if it wasn't for me slowing him down, he would've gotten back to you so much sooner. Would've gotten back to you at all. Instead, he...
[No, he has to stop again. He finds himself squeezing Aerith's hands a little too tightly and quickly eases up, taking in a slightly shaky breath and letting it out, swallowing hard. He's gotta get through this story. She has to know.]
...Zack died...because of me. We were so close, but Shinra caught up to us. Sent in the army. And Zack, he...
[The price of freedom is steep.]
He fought them all. All by himself. Held them off. Protected me, knowing there was no getting out of there alive. Knowing it might all be for nothing. And I...knew, when he walked away, he wasn't coming back. Wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. Couldn't do anything.
[He's told the story before, but never to the love of Zack's life. Never to a woman who loved Zack so much she waited for him for five long years, hoping against hope that he was still alive and would come back to her.
Except he wasn't, and never would. Because of Cloud.]
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