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[nimbuster]

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[nimbuster]

"Hm. S'why I'm here." Cloud glances up at Corvo, now. "Don't recall the details, but the Admiral offered me a second chance to fix everything I fucked up, and I took it."

[ravenswrath]

He nods. "Better man than me," he remarks. "I came in and wanted nothing to do with this. Didn't want to graduate, didn't care about it. Killed nearly eight people my first night. Those signs on the wall? They're because of me."

Which he is exceptionally embarrassed about, but it's the truth.

[nimbuster]

What Corvo says reminds Cloud of Sephiroth's attitude. Which means that if Corvo could change his mind, Sephiroth can, too. Validation, of a kind.

But then he blinks, brows lifting, then furrowing. "Why'd you do it?"

[ravenswrath]

"Didn't get the Admiral chat beforehand. Thought I was still at home or it was a trick of the god who decided to get involved in my life. I finally got stopped, but - wasn't my finest moment."

He sits back, clearly not finished, but taking a drink anyway. This is the most he's talked in a long time and it doesn't come naturally to him.

"I was killed when I was saving the young Empress. So the last thing I saw was her dangling over a lighthouse."

[nimbuster]

A trick of a god involved in his life...well, Sephiroth might not have become an actual god, but he sure acted like one, tricks and all. So Cloud can sympathize.

"Shit. Do you know if she survived?"

[ravenswrath]

He nods once. "I left and returned," he answers. "She is just fine. When I left, she was in her room, coloring."

And he made sure to see it in real time before he left. Time would stop, the world would stop, and he has only the image of her safe.

[nimbuster]

Cloud nods with a bit of relief - good. At least one of them managed to actually do his job.

"Well...Aerith's fine now, I suppose. No thanks to me. Some bodyguard I turned out to be."

And that thought is worth a fairly sizeable sip of his drink.

[ravenswrath]

"The girl, her mother was Empress. And I was her bodyguard. She was killed. Stabbed in some sort of plot for other people to grab the throne. Right in front of me and I was held back. Then they framed me for the murder."

He laughs and it's a bitter, ugly sound. "You're not a bad bodyguard. Shit happens."

[nimbuster]

Cloud's eyes widen and he sits up a little straighter, staring at Corvo for a moment before he lowers his gaze. What an awful situation. What a bullshit outcome. And yet...it isn't so dissimilar from what happened to Cloud, other than the framing afterward. And Cloud wouldn't have blamed him, so...maybe Corvo's right. Maybe shit does just happen, sometimes.

Maybe. Except there's so much more to it than Cloud's spoken aloud. It was Cloud's own unwillingness to open up to his friends that led them there. They didn't know how deeply Sephiroth had dug his claws in, and Cloud was too afraid, too ashamed, to tell them. And it was Aerith who paid for it.

"...Aerith was killed...right in front of me, too." He speaks slowly. Difficult to get the words out, but he wants to. He'll try. "Same guy who dropped a meteor on the planet. He...tried to make me do it, first. Psychic bullshit. Fought it long enough that he decided to take matters into his own hands, but...if he'd waited any longer, I..."

No. He just stops there.

[ravenswrath]

Corvo lets him talk a while, leaning forward on his elbow while he watches him. He doesn't know what sort of bullshit that this is, but already hates it for him. That isn't any way to live a life. That sort of guilt and anger is stifling.

"You what?" he wonders softly, a gentle probe.

[nimbuster]

Cloud's silent for long enough that it might seem like he's not going to respond at all. But eventually, he takes a deliberate breath.

"...might not've been able to stop myself," he says quietly. "Sometimes, in my nightmares, I don't."

[ravenswrath]

Corvo gives a slow nod, realizing that these drinks are very rightly earned. He raises his, salutes Cloud, and drinks.

"You get any sleep at all?" he wonders.

[nimbuster]

Cloud drinks with him, draining the rest of the glass all at once just like the first. Enough of this pity party, Strife.

"I get enough," he says as he sets the glass back down and leans back in his seat, which is exactly as much of a deflection as it sounds like. Then, deadpan, "You know what they say. I'll sleep when I'm dead."

[ravenswrath]

Corvo spreads out his hands and smiles at that. "Well. Apparently not." After all, they ended up on the barge after their deaths. And there's no rest here.

[nimbuster]

There sure isn't, for all that Cloud still often feels like he should be doing more. Doing something important. He's always been much better in go mode, under pressure, than when he's idle.

"So...figure anything more out about what you wanna do as a temp warden?"

[ravenswrath]

"Depends on you," he points out. "I'm not the one running the show here. You are."

He tilts his glass towards him. "What do you want out of this?"

[nimbuster]

Cloud doesn't feel much like he's running any show, but he gives the question its due consideration.

"Guidance," he replies eventually. "I know I got a path laid out in front of me, but I can't see any landmarks. Coupla signposts'd go a long way."

[ravenswrath]

He winces a little. "Hard to do without the whole fucking story," he points out. "But I can give you that. Shit that happens here. I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

[nimbuster]

"Mm. Maybe...that's a good way to look at it. You get an inmate to guide, I get a warden to learn from, and we try to figure it all out together."

A less stratified view on the warden-inmate dynamic than many on the Barge have, maybe, but it's the way Cloud would prefer it - and so far, none of his wardens have seemed to oppose it.

[ravenswrath]

"I think that's the only damn way to do it," he says gently. "That's how Richter was. With me."

And it suited him. He didn't need someone else telling him what to do. He needed someone to walk with him and challenge him.

[nimbuster]

Cloud nods thoughtfully. He's not surprised to hear Richter was a good warden, considering he worked well with Zack.

"How long did it take you? To graduate, I mean."

[ravenswrath]

"Not long," he admits with a half shrug. "A matter of months. Less than a year. But I think I'm an exception to the rule. I had a very big - motivation for graduation."

[nimbuster]

A matter of months. Cloud's already been here a few months and he feels no closer at all.

Motivation - "The Empress' daughter," Cloud fills in, just for confirmation. He frowns, looking into his now-empty glass. "So...time passes at home while we're here, right?" He's always assumed it does, but now the question's in his mind.

[ravenswrath]

"No. No time at all." He shakes his head. "When I went back, it was to the exact moment when I died. Only I was alive instead. The arrow hit behind me, not in me."

[nimbuster]

"Really?" Cloud's eyes widen a little, flicking back up to Corvo. No time passes...so he still has a chance to save Tifa, save Denzel, if he manages to get his shit together. He doesn't have to just pray they've survived in his absence.

He lets out a slow breath as the news settles in his mind, shoulders gradually relaxing. "Thanks. Guess I...could've asked somebody sooner." Half-wry, half-embarrassed. He spent all this time worrying over nothing. Not that he doesn't want to get back as soon as he can, for his own peace of mind if nothing else, but..it's not the crushing weight he thought it was.