"...I know. But I... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others."
Allen still remembers those words, from so long ago. He doesn't know if he has managed to do anything but destroy.
He looks down at his hands.]
...I would like to help the dead in a way that's not just destroying them. It's kind of a selfish wish...
[The Barge offers a chance for it to not only to be selfish.]
I think about that sometimes: what will happen when we stop the Earl. There will still be consequences. Not ones that threaten the world [hopefully], but all those people will still be dead. The pain they left behind will still be there. Everything the Black Order has done to stop him.
Even if it turns out it was truly needed to save the world, it doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. We'll still have to bear that guilt. Even before there's some sort of 'end'...
Just before I came here, there were already consequences to some of the experiments they've done. Alma killed a lot of people. He would've killed if more if he could. I still chose to send him to a place where he could have peace in the time he had left, away from the Order. [He laughs a little, regaining his smile.]. Against their orders, so I lost my job for that. If the Admiral hadn't offered me a job, I'd probably be back to street performance!
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onlyembers
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Date: 2024-07-17 04:55 am (UTC)"...I know. But I... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others."
Allen still remembers those words, from so long ago. He doesn't know if he has managed to do anything but destroy.
He looks down at his hands.]
...I would like to help the dead in a way that's not just destroying them. It's kind of a selfish wish...
[The Barge offers a chance for it to not only to be selfish.]
I think about that sometimes: what will happen when we stop the Earl. There will still be consequences. Not ones that threaten the world [hopefully], but all those people will still be dead. The pain they left behind will still be there. Everything the Black Order has done to stop him.
Even if it turns out it was truly needed to save the world, it doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. We'll still have to bear that guilt. Even before there's some sort of 'end'...
Just before I came here, there were already consequences to some of the experiments they've done. Alma killed a lot of people. He would've killed if more if he could. I still chose to send him to a place where he could have peace in the time he had left, away from the Order. [He laughs a little, regaining his smile.]. Against their orders, so I lost my job for that. If the Admiral hadn't offered me a job, I'd probably be back to street performance!