Chose to be here? And here I thought inmates got brought here more or less against their will or with a choice where you couldn't really say no. [That's... curious, really. Hm.
He goes quiet for the longest moment at the question, taking another drink with a small humming noise. Yeah, he probably sticks out in a crowd in that particular regard.]
One of 'em. Sinner demon, specifically, means I was a living human at one point and then when I died and ended up in Hell, also ended up like this.
Most do. Figure the Admiral would've nabbed me anyway even if I'd said no, but...he didn't have to.
[Cloud's view of things has shifted some over time, but that much at least wouldn't change even if he had it to do over again.
He's patient during Husk's silence, just sipping his own drink in the meantime. His brows lift slightly in some curiosity once the reply comes, then furrow slightly as he considers that.]
But you're a warden. So you must've done something right, at least as far as the Admiral's concerned. Why the transformation?
That so... [He almost wants to ask what he was doing that made that choice so obvious for him, but he leaves that be for now. Especially since the curiosity actually does earn a bit of amusement out of him, a grin climbing to his lips and showing those sharp teeth while he does so.]
Now ain't that the million dollar question? Could be that the Admiral's idea of good or moralistic or whatever-the-fuck is different than Heaven or Hell's definitions of it. Or that maybe I changed for the better when I got knocked off my pedestal of being an Overlord and put onto a collar and leash, hard to say without knowin' what that standard even is. [Another drink and a shrug.] Wasn't a good enough change for Heaven, anyway.
[It seems odd that Husk doesn't know why he's a warden, but then again, Cloud has noticed that most wardens don't actually seem to have as many answers as one would think.
The rest is more unexpected. He may not know much about the ins and outs of Hell, but "overlord" seems pretty self-explanatory. He'd assume "collar and leash" were metaphorical, except, well. The guy is a cat...]
[Doesn't much help that his view of his own self isn't the best and yet he's still here and still doing stuff. And doesn't recognize the good qualities about himself or things he's done. It's fine, don't worry about it.
Normally he'd be more, well, catty about these details. But by this point in time, it doesn't much matter anymore.]
Some things from life carry over into death, I was a gambler. Overlords deal in souls, taking them in contracts, that's how you got power. I took a bet I couldn't win and ended up having to trade my own in order to keep even a semblance of my power still. [A slow bit of a shrug as he finishes off the rest of his glass and goes to pour himself some more.] Ended up at his beck and call for whatever he wanted, but I guess in the scheme of things who I ended up with isn't that bad since the asshole at least is annoying instead of malicious.
[At his beck and call...Cloud glances down into his glass for a moment. He knows what that's like, even if the details are all wrong. But he's pretty sure his soul never entered into it - at least, not before he died and the Admiral intercepted his soul before he could return to the planet.
Cloud finishes his drink, too, and sets the glass down.]
Maybe the Admiral figured you already had a taste of your own medicine and didn't need any more. [A pause.] As for me...I stopped an alien from destroying humanity and they called me a hero for it, but I never felt like one. Not after all the shit I did...and failed to do, along the way.
[His tone slides into a kind of bitter disgust, aimed at himself like a blade.] And afterward, I abandoned everybody who cared about me when they needed me. Ran away to wallow in self-pity and wait around for death. And my friends, my family...they suffered for it. So yeah, I wanted to come here. Figure out my shit and do better, for them.
Maybe, ain't much left for an old washed up man like me. [It's far more matter-of-fact that it really ought to be. But he lets him talk, ears flicking forward in oddly more interest in the last part. Man, if he hates one thing about this cat bit, it's this feature.]
You already got a start on shit, then. Getting out of that self-pity spiral's the way to do it, whether you really believe you deserve it or not. [He shifts a little, claws lightly tapping on the bar top.] Though with the way you're talkin' about everything, it seems you still got a bit more to get over for yourself before you can help anyone else. [He might be preaching to the choir, he's pretty damn sure and he wasn't exactly asked for his thoughts on any of it.]
But lemme guess: you continuously think about all the things you coulda done different, what you coulda said differently. All the what-ifs, could-ifs, should-haves. Which ain't gonna do anything other than frustrate you and paralyze you from moving forward, ask me how I fuckin' know, kid.
[Cloud, on the other hand, is glad to have the hints those ears give him! He likes cats.
Husk may not have been asked for his thoughts, but Cloud listens to them anyway, with a thoughtful frown. It turns into a slight smile at the end there, though.]
Think I can take a guess. [Then back to the frown.] I know. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on myself, letting go of the past, moving forward...but it's not that easy.
I put on a better act than you might think. I ain't shit back home, not anymore.
[At least someone likes them, he sure the fuck does not. Nor does he ever not give his opinion unless told specifically not to, especially given the last time he did it... ended up working out for him, oddly enough. But the smile isn't quite expected as he tilts his head somewhat, hm.]
Lemme ask you something, then: is anything easy worth doing? If something's easy, it ain't gonna push you forward, it ain't gonna make you grow, so what's the fuckin' point.
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onlyembers
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Date: 2025-03-16 09:16 am (UTC)He goes quiet for the longest moment at the question, taking another drink with a small humming noise. Yeah, he probably sticks out in a crowd in that particular regard.]
One of 'em. Sinner demon, specifically, means I was a living human at one point and then when I died and ended up in Hell, also ended up like this.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 09:28 am (UTC)[Cloud's view of things has shifted some over time, but that much at least wouldn't change even if he had it to do over again.
He's patient during Husk's silence, just sipping his own drink in the meantime. His brows lift slightly in some curiosity once the reply comes, then furrow slightly as he considers that.]
But you're a warden. So you must've done something right, at least as far as the Admiral's concerned. Why the transformation?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 09:31 am (UTC)Now ain't that the million dollar question? Could be that the Admiral's idea of good or moralistic or whatever-the-fuck is different than Heaven or Hell's definitions of it. Or that maybe I changed for the better when I got knocked off my pedestal of being an Overlord and put onto a collar and leash, hard to say without knowin' what that standard even is. [Another drink and a shrug.] Wasn't a good enough change for Heaven, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 09:46 am (UTC)[It seems odd that Husk doesn't know why he's a warden, but then again, Cloud has noticed that most wardens don't actually seem to have as many answers as one would think.
The rest is more unexpected. He may not know much about the ins and outs of Hell, but "overlord" seems pretty self-explanatory. He'd assume "collar and leash" were metaphorical, except, well. The guy is a cat...]
So you were a big shot. What happened?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 09:50 am (UTC)Normally he'd be more, well, catty about these details. But by this point in time, it doesn't much matter anymore.]
Some things from life carry over into death, I was a gambler. Overlords deal in souls, taking them in contracts, that's how you got power. I took a bet I couldn't win and ended up having to trade my own in order to keep even a semblance of my power still. [A slow bit of a shrug as he finishes off the rest of his glass and goes to pour himself some more.] Ended up at his beck and call for whatever he wanted, but I guess in the scheme of things who I ended up with isn't that bad since the asshole at least is annoying instead of malicious.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 10:14 am (UTC)Cloud finishes his drink, too, and sets the glass down.]
Maybe the Admiral figured you already had a taste of your own medicine and didn't need any more. [A pause.] As for me...I stopped an alien from destroying humanity and they called me a hero for it, but I never felt like one. Not after all the shit I did...and failed to do, along the way.
[His tone slides into a kind of bitter disgust, aimed at himself like a blade.] And afterward, I abandoned everybody who cared about me when they needed me. Ran away to wallow in self-pity and wait around for death. And my friends, my family...they suffered for it. So yeah, I wanted to come here. Figure out my shit and do better, for them.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 10:20 am (UTC)You already got a start on shit, then. Getting out of that self-pity spiral's the way to do it, whether you really believe you deserve it or not. [He shifts a little, claws lightly tapping on the bar top.] Though with the way you're talkin' about everything, it seems you still got a bit more to get over for yourself before you can help anyone else. [He might be preaching to the choir, he's pretty damn sure and he wasn't exactly asked for his thoughts on any of it.]
But lemme guess: you continuously think about all the things you coulda done different, what you coulda said differently. All the what-ifs, could-ifs, should-haves. Which ain't gonna do anything other than frustrate you and paralyze you from moving forward, ask me how I fuckin' know, kid.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-19 10:36 pm (UTC)[Cloud, on the other hand, is glad to have the hints those ears give him! He likes cats.
Husk may not have been asked for his thoughts, but Cloud listens to them anyway, with a thoughtful frown. It turns into a slight smile at the end there, though.]
Think I can take a guess. [Then back to the frown.] I know. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on myself, letting go of the past, moving forward...but it's not that easy.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-24 08:02 am (UTC)[At least someone likes them, he sure the fuck does not. Nor does he ever not give his opinion unless told specifically not to, especially given the last time he did it... ended up working out for him, oddly enough. But the smile isn't quite expected as he tilts his head somewhat, hm.]
Lemme ask you something, then: is anything easy worth doing? If something's easy, it ain't gonna push you forward, it ain't gonna make you grow, so what's the fuckin' point.