[Okay, so Cloud knows, he knows he shouldn't care. What difference does it make what Sephiroth thinks? Let him assume whatever he wants.
...that's when it occurs to Cloud that whatever he's assuming might come back to Abel in the worst way. Wouldn't be the first time Sephiroth went after other people just to torment him. And that means this is Cloud's responsibility to stop before it escalates.
He can't let it happen again. He can't.
So once again, Cloud crosses the hall to barge into Sephiroth's room unannounced if the door is unlocked, or pound on it if not.]
Sephiroth.
...that's when it occurs to Cloud that whatever he's assuming might come back to Abel in the worst way. Wouldn't be the first time Sephiroth went after other people just to torment him. And that means this is Cloud's responsibility to stop before it escalates.
He can't let it happen again. He can't.
So once again, Cloud crosses the hall to barge into Sephiroth's room unannounced if the door is unlocked, or pound on it if not.]
Sephiroth.
[Sephiroth is totally not sulking sitting on the couch with the 'cat' when Cloud barges in. Yes, still in the dark. But hey, the cat has red glowing eyes and glowing bits on the tail so it's like having a light.]
Cloud.
[He looks over, but that's all. No getting up to greet him. The cat on the other hand makes that happy 'merp' type sound having recognized who is barging in and immediately goes over to head butt Cloud on the leg while purring loudly.]
Cloud.
[He looks over, but that's all. No getting up to greet him. The cat on the other hand makes that happy 'merp' type sound having recognized who is barging in and immediately goes over to head butt Cloud on the leg while purring loudly.]
[Cloud's frown deepens. The Cloud that was here before...how did he handle Sephiroth being here? Is he the reason Sephiroth says he wants to make Cloud happy? Why?]
Surprised you gave enough of a shit to keep it.
[But this isn't why he's here. His already somewhat hard tone gets harder.]
You can spy on me all you want, I don't care, but leave other people out of it.
Surprised you gave enough of a shit to keep it.
[But this isn't why he's here. His already somewhat hard tone gets harder.]
You can spy on me all you want, I don't care, but leave other people out of it.
Then why are you here? You will not believe my words so ...
[He stands up and starts to move closer to Cloud. As he does the glow of light pierces the darkness and the masamune appears in his hand.]
If you fear this so much then end it.
[He raises his hand but plunges the blade into the floor in front of where Cloud stands. After that, he heads back to sit down again.]
If my blade is not fitting, Zack keeps his cabin unlocked with the weapon of his you once carried.
[He stands up and starts to move closer to Cloud. As he does the glow of light pierces the darkness and the masamune appears in his hand.]
If you fear this so much then end it.
[He raises his hand but plunges the blade into the floor in front of where Cloud stands. After that, he heads back to sit down again.]
If my blade is not fitting, Zack keeps his cabin unlocked with the weapon of his you once carried.
Edited 2024-06-25 06:31 (UTC)
[As Sephiroth gets closer, Cloud's head lifts to hold his gaze in quiet defiance. It turns to startled alarm when Sephiroth summons his deadly blade. Why the hell would anyone want to give it back to him? And if he can still lift it that effortlessly, then...
But even so, Cloud will fight if he has to.
Sephiroth lifts the blade higher and Cloud falls immediately into a defensive stance, ready to evade - or try to evade, at least - an attack. What Sephiroth actually does gives Cloud some pause. Later, he'll look back on this and wonder why the hell Zack keeps his door unlocked. For right now, the confirmation that Zack does have the Buster Sword here on the ship grabs him by the heart and doesn't let go.]
...this is one of your sick mind games, isn't it. Well, I'm not falling for it.
But even so, Cloud will fight if he has to.
Sephiroth lifts the blade higher and Cloud falls immediately into a defensive stance, ready to evade - or try to evade, at least - an attack. What Sephiroth actually does gives Cloud some pause. Later, he'll look back on this and wonder why the hell Zack keeps his door unlocked. For right now, the confirmation that Zack does have the Buster Sword here on the ship grabs him by the heart and doesn't let go.]
...this is one of your sick mind games, isn't it. Well, I'm not falling for it.
It is not a game. As I said, it should end. Though this place --
[He gestures slightly around them.]
Generally makes that pointless, perhaps for you it'll be different. My words to you before we're not anything to deceive you. My strength and abilities have been returned for some time now if I wanted to injure you or your --
[What does he even refer to Abel as? He's trying not to think about that..]
Regardless of that, if I wanted to do something to cause you pain, I would have already done so. You know this.
[He gestures slightly around them.]
Generally makes that pointless, perhaps for you it'll be different. My words to you before we're not anything to deceive you. My strength and abilities have been returned for some time now if I wanted to injure you or your --
[What does he even refer to Abel as? He's trying not to think about that..]
Regardless of that, if I wanted to do something to cause you pain, I would have already done so. You know this.
[The same strange feeling of something being different about Sephiroth returns again. As much as he wants to stand his ground, he can't help feeling like Sephiroth isn't deceiving him this time. For once.
And then Sephiroth cuts himself off mid-sentence and Cloud arches a brow. What on earth was going to come after 'your' there?? And there it is again, Sephiroth insisting that he doesn't want to cause Cloud pain.
...this is the second time Cloud's found him sitting alone in the dark (albeit alone with a cat, in this case). In context, he was clearly talking about Abel, and he called Cloud just to interrogate him about why he was talking to the man earlier, in the gym, where he works.
You are important.
But perhaps I regret the pain you've endured as a result.
A sort of mind-boggling shock renders Cloud speechless for a moment.]
You...you're jealous??
And then Sephiroth cuts himself off mid-sentence and Cloud arches a brow. What on earth was going to come after 'your' there?? And there it is again, Sephiroth insisting that he doesn't want to cause Cloud pain.
...this is the second time Cloud's found him sitting alone in the dark (albeit alone with a cat, in this case). In context, he was clearly talking about Abel, and he called Cloud just to interrogate him about why he was talking to the man earlier, in the gym, where he works.
You are important.
But perhaps I regret the pain you've endured as a result.
A sort of mind-boggling shock renders Cloud speechless for a moment.]
You...you're jealous??
[He looks over at Cloud for a moment, but just a moment.]
No.
[Yes. So much so he wanted to bash Abel's face in, but didn't.]]
I am beyond human emotions.
[He hates it. He hates that he feels so much and it's harder to ignore and pretend he doesn't, especially when Cloud is involved. He's still good at acting like nothing's there but not enough so that Zack didn't figure it out.
And now Cloud --
But it doesn't matter anyway. Nothing does. He's also realized that as well]
What you do, and with who, is of no concern to me.
[Which is totally why he interrogated them both.]
No.
[Yes. So much so he wanted to bash Abel's face in, but didn't.]]
I am beyond human emotions.
[He hates it. He hates that he feels so much and it's harder to ignore and pretend he doesn't, especially when Cloud is involved. He's still good at acting like nothing's there but not enough so that Zack didn't figure it out.
And now Cloud --
But it doesn't matter anyway. Nothing does. He's also realized that as well]
What you do, and with who, is of no concern to me.
[Which is totally why he interrogated them both.]
Edited 2024-06-26 01:17 (UTC)
[At that Sephiroth stands, walking straight to where he stuck the blade into the floor and pulls it out. But instead of doing anything else, he walks away, not even looking at Cloud in the process.
He looks at the blade for a moment, briefly considering it's effectiveness against himself with it's restrictions. Not that death would really do anything here, he'd just come back and still be miserable. After a moment the blade simply vanishes into thin air.]
Do as you wish.
He looks at the blade for a moment, briefly considering it's effectiveness against himself with it's restrictions. Not that death would really do anything here, he'd just come back and still be miserable. After a moment the blade simply vanishes into thin air.]
Do as you wish.
[Cloud waits to see if anything else is forthcoming. When it isn't,]
You do know 'sulking' is something only people with human emotions do, right?
[He shakes his head in disbelief.]
You seriously think I'd actually do that? A guy I literally met today? He works at the gym. He was giving me weight lifting advice.
[And asking if Sephiroth was his boyfriend, but that's neither here nor there.
Also, Cloud's never asked anyone out in his life, but that's not here, there, or anywhere.]
You do know 'sulking' is something only people with human emotions do, right?
[He shakes his head in disbelief.]
You seriously think I'd actually do that? A guy I literally met today? He works at the gym. He was giving me weight lifting advice.
[And asking if Sephiroth was his boyfriend, but that's neither here nor there.
Also, Cloud's never asked anyone out in his life, but that's not here, there, or anywhere.]
[What Cloud says is what gets Sephiroth to finally look over at him instead of staring off into the darkness. He won't comment on the whole sulking thing but ...]
His defensiveness says otherwise.
[Not that he thinks Cloud is lying here, but Abel was awfully defensive over Cloud to a point Sephiroth didn't like at all (but Sephiroth also has issues so)]
His defensiveness says otherwise.
[Not that he thinks Cloud is lying here, but Abel was awfully defensive over Cloud to a point Sephiroth didn't like at all (but Sephiroth also has issues so)]
[Is that a bad joke, or does Sephiroth really just have no sense of humor whatsoever? Wait, no, that can't be right - Cloud remembers. He remembers how subtly warm Sephiroth used to be, when they were in Nibelheim. How he'd say quietly deadpan things and then smile slightly after a moment, clearly a little pleased with himself when others got the joke.
Did Jenova and learning the truth about his origins really change him that much?...guess so.]
No shit.
Did Jenova and learning the truth about his origins really change him that much?...guess so.]
No shit.
[Sometimes Sephiroth acts more like his old self, the one from before he learned the truth. The one who who actually cared about others. But most times it's easier to try and not care. To distance himself from everything that made him human before.
The moment he allowed himself closer to happiness here is the same moment he realized none of it is real anyway.]
Is there anything else, Cloud? What is keeping you here?
[Cloud will leave again like he did before. Sephiroth knows this, he just can't fully accept it.]
The moment he allowed himself closer to happiness here is the same moment he realized none of it is real anyway.]
Is there anything else, Cloud? What is keeping you here?
[Cloud will leave again like he did before. Sephiroth knows this, he just can't fully accept it.]
[What is keeping Cloud here? He's not really sure, himself. He thought he'd been operating under the assumption that talking to Sephiroth would accomplish nothing at all. But if that were the case, he wouldn't still be here. Maybe wouldn't have bothered coming over here in the first place.
He looks down at the cat, still demanding his attention. He crouches to pet it again, less awkwardly and more thoughtfully this time. A Sephiroth who didn't have any emotions wouldn't be keeping a pet. Pets are by nature a sentimental thing to have. Taking care of another creature, by definition.
After a moment, he stands back up and looks at Sephiroth again.]
Why do you always have the lights off in here?
He looks down at the cat, still demanding his attention. He crouches to pet it again, less awkwardly and more thoughtfully this time. A Sephiroth who didn't have any emotions wouldn't be keeping a pet. Pets are by nature a sentimental thing to have. Taking care of another creature, by definition.
After a moment, he stands back up and looks at Sephiroth again.]
Why do you always have the lights off in here?
It reminds me of the darkness within the negative lifestream.
[That's only half true. The negative lifestream is dark and not as bright as the regular lifestream. It's full of sorrow, dread, despair, all sorts of emotions opposite of joy and happiness.
Which is fitting to how he feels right now.
But since Cloud commented on it, he lifts a hand a hand, telekinetically turning on the lights revealing the state of his cabin.
... Which is actually pretty simple. Nothing really out of place or anything, but it's pretty boring, plain, and looks like something inside the main shinra building of old.
On one of the far walls is something that looks kind of like Cloud's wolf emblem carved into the wall. But that's about what he has for decoration.]
[That's only half true. The negative lifestream is dark and not as bright as the regular lifestream. It's full of sorrow, dread, despair, all sorts of emotions opposite of joy and happiness.
Which is fitting to how he feels right now.
But since Cloud commented on it, he lifts a hand a hand, telekinetically turning on the lights revealing the state of his cabin.
... Which is actually pretty simple. Nothing really out of place or anything, but it's pretty boring, plain, and looks like something inside the main shinra building of old.
On one of the far walls is something that looks kind of like Cloud's wolf emblem carved into the wall. But that's about what he has for decoration.]
The...what?
[Cloud doesn't know enough yet to understand what's going on with the remnants. But if Sephiroth's sitting in the dark because it reminds him of another dark place that he apparently liked being in, well. That's what they call 'sentiment,' pal.
Cloud squints when the lights come on, taking a second to let them adjust before he glances around. The cat looks even weirder in the light. Cloud frowns when he recognizes what could easily be a room inside Shinra HQ. For a moment, it makes no sense to him - Sephiroth was the one who killed the president (more or less), he can't possibly have any love for that place, can he? - but then it occurs to Cloud...Sephiroth must have grown up there. Maybe it's the closest thing to 'home' he ever had. Boy, Cloud would kill Hojo a hundred more times if he could.
He might have said something about all of that, except then his eyes fall on the...carving. Is that...? He walks closer to it.]
The hell is this?
[Cloud doesn't know enough yet to understand what's going on with the remnants. But if Sephiroth's sitting in the dark because it reminds him of another dark place that he apparently liked being in, well. That's what they call 'sentiment,' pal.
Cloud squints when the lights come on, taking a second to let them adjust before he glances around. The cat looks even weirder in the light. Cloud frowns when he recognizes what could easily be a room inside Shinra HQ. For a moment, it makes no sense to him - Sephiroth was the one who killed the president (more or less), he can't possibly have any love for that place, can he? - but then it occurs to Cloud...Sephiroth must have grown up there. Maybe it's the closest thing to 'home' he ever had. Boy, Cloud would kill Hojo a hundred more times if he could.
He might have said something about all of that, except then his eyes fall on the...carving. Is that...? He walks closer to it.]
The hell is this?
The negative lifestream is filled with those who died in despair. So much that their negative emotions makes it so they don't join with the lifestream proper, instead their essence joins the other. Geostigma expedited this process. Had it not been stopped, it would have turned the entire lifestream black.
[Though Cloud hadn't yet asked, now he gets to know that even Geostigma gets solved in the end. Sephiroth figures it's something he'd ultimately want to know.
His eyes stay on Cloud as he edges closer to the carving. Oh. Right. That.]
I believe it is the emblem you wear.
[There you go, Cloud. That's something of a joke.]
[Though Cloud hadn't yet asked, now he gets to know that even Geostigma gets solved in the end. Sephiroth figures it's something he'd ultimately want to know.
His eyes stay on Cloud as he edges closer to the carving. Oh. Right. That.]
I believe it is the emblem you wear.
[There you go, Cloud. That's something of a joke.]
What?
[Since when has that been a thing? Cloud would have thought at least that Nanaki or Bugenhagen would have known about this, but he's never heard of it before. Maybe it was a new development. Maybe--]
You created it, didn't you. The black lifestream. That was your doing.
[A pause.]
What do you mean, geostigma was stopped?
[Sephiroth's answer to his other question earns him the flattest, most unimpressed look Cloud can muster.]
Yeah. Thanks. I noticed. Why is it here?
[Since when has that been a thing? Cloud would have thought at least that Nanaki or Bugenhagen would have known about this, but he's never heard of it before. Maybe it was a new development. Maybe--]
You created it, didn't you. The black lifestream. That was your doing.
[A pause.]
What do you mean, geostigma was stopped?
[Sephiroth's answer to his other question earns him the flattest, most unimpressed look Cloud can muster.]
Yeah. Thanks. I noticed. Why is it here?
Jenova being in the lifestream created it. I helped it spread. The waters in the church --
[Cloud knows what Church]
Being connected to the lifestream itself, the power there made it go dormant.
[That was her doing. He knew she was trying to foil his plans from within the lifestream from the start.]
As for that ...
[He moves closer to where Cloud is standing, though not directly beside him, more like behind still a bit of a distance away.]
Consider it a reminder from when you left the first time.
[Cloud knows what Church]
Being connected to the lifestream itself, the power there made it go dormant.
[That was her doing. He knew she was trying to foil his plans from within the lifestream from the start.]
As for that ...
[He moves closer to where Cloud is standing, though not directly beside him, more like behind still a bit of a distance away.]
Consider it a reminder from when you left the first time.
Close enough.
[He snaps the words, but then he falls silent. The church. Aerith...cured it from the Lifestream, somehow. Or will cure it. And...according to Sephiroth, Cloud does live to see it. The sudden burst of hope that erupts in his heart takes him by surprise. But he has to get out of here first. Has to earn it. He looks down at his palm, and then his hand clenches into a fist briefly before he drops it back to his side. He's going to earn it. Somehow.
Cloud doesn't glance over his shoulder, but he hears Sephiroth getting closer. He expects...well, honestly, he has no idea what to expect from the answer. So when it comes, he's weirdly less surprised than he could have been. Everything he's been learning so far seems to be adding up to a conclusion he doesn't really want to face head-on.]
...whatever. I'm outta here.
[For now, anyway. Something else he doesn't want to face head-on. He turns and starts walking back toward the door.]
[He snaps the words, but then he falls silent. The church. Aerith...cured it from the Lifestream, somehow. Or will cure it. And...according to Sephiroth, Cloud does live to see it. The sudden burst of hope that erupts in his heart takes him by surprise. But he has to get out of here first. Has to earn it. He looks down at his palm, and then his hand clenches into a fist briefly before he drops it back to his side. He's going to earn it. Somehow.
Cloud doesn't glance over his shoulder, but he hears Sephiroth getting closer. He expects...well, honestly, he has no idea what to expect from the answer. So when it comes, he's weirdly less surprised than he could have been. Everything he's been learning so far seems to be adding up to a conclusion he doesn't really want to face head-on.]
...whatever. I'm outta here.
[For now, anyway. Something else he doesn't want to face head-on. He turns and starts walking back toward the door.]
[Cloud pauses, but only for a second. He can't let whatever's going on with Sephiroth muddle his mind again. Can't let him in. Can't hesitate. Not with Sephiroth.
...apparently Sephiroth's cat is a different story, though, because it sits directly between Cloud and the door, looking like it's trying to look adorable. Cloud does stop just in front of it with a hand on his hip and looks down, perplexed.]
What? Don't got any food for you or anything. Come on, scram.
...apparently Sephiroth's cat is a different story, though, because it sits directly between Cloud and the door, looking like it's trying to look adorable. Cloud does stop just in front of it with a hand on his hip and looks down, perplexed.]
What? Don't got any food for you or anything. Come on, scram.
[The cat, having learned from before, is going to use it's most pitiful sounding meow in response to Cloud saying to scram. Just sitting there trying to look adorable and sounding sad all at the same time.
And speaking of sad and adorable, Sephiroth is going to walk up by now.]
You can take it if you want. The cat.
[He gestures towards it.]
And speaking of sad and adorable, Sephiroth is going to walk up by now.]
You can take it if you want. The cat.
[He gestures towards it.]
[Oh, come on, that's not even fair. Cloud gives the cat a Look, but he's still acting like it's some kind of barrier, as if he couldn't just...step over it.
Then it's Sephiroth who's getting a Look, but this one is more suspicious than anything.]
What? Why would I take your cat? Or...whatever this thing is.
Then it's Sephiroth who's getting a Look, but this one is more suspicious than anything.]
What? Why would I take your cat? Or...whatever this thing is.
You mean you never gave it one.
[A name pops into Cloud's head, but he's not about to offer to name Sephiroth's cat. That'd be just as bad as actually taking it with him.
The thought has him looking down at the animal again.]
You gonna get out of my way, or what?
[A name pops into Cloud's head, but he's not about to offer to name Sephiroth's cat. That'd be just as bad as actually taking it with him.
The thought has him looking down at the animal again.]
You gonna get out of my way, or what?
Then perhaps you should do so.
[He says as though he read Cloud's mind. He didn't. He can't at the moment. It's just the next logical thought since Cloud asked if it had a name, it doesn't, so he can give it one.
The cat, being a cat, proceeds to do the cat thing of not getting up or moving but laying down, still completely in the way.]
[He says as though he read Cloud's mind. He didn't. He can't at the moment. It's just the next logical thought since Cloud asked if it had a name, it doesn't, so he can give it one.
The cat, being a cat, proceeds to do the cat thing of not getting up or moving but laying down, still completely in the way.]
[Cloud's tone is stern and a little irritated when he says,]
Not naming your cat.
[And then there it goes, making itself comfortable. Cloud sighs and finally does just step around it, moving once again toward the door. Then, without turning around,]
Your place sucks.
Not naming your cat.
[And then there it goes, making itself comfortable. Cloud sighs and finally does just step around it, moving once again toward the door. Then, without turning around,]
Your place sucks.
Gee, wonder why.
[It's from the damn Shinra building, Sephiroth shouldn't like it, either.
He finally does take his leave without any further commentary. The cat, the carving, the cabin...it all makes Cloud uneasy. He decides to stop thinking about it.
For now, anyway.]
[It's from the damn Shinra building, Sephiroth shouldn't like it, either.
He finally does take his leave without any further commentary. The cat, the carving, the cabin...it all makes Cloud uneasy. He decides to stop thinking about it.
For now, anyway.]
Excuse me, Cloud? Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know that I had a- well I wouldn't say it was a conversation, but Sephiroth visited me in the gym.
[This is audio because he can't keep his hands from shaking, but audibly he sounds totally fine.] I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine and I wanted to check in myself, to make sure you were okay.
[This is audio because he can't keep his hands from shaking, but audibly he sounds totally fine.] I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine and I wanted to check in myself, to make sure you were okay.
It wasn't anything I can't handle. I told him to mind his own business and to leave, which he did.
[He's just going to leave out the part where he broke a weight in front of his face with his bare hand.]
He has no right to know what you do or who you talk to, or why. [His tone might be a little harder than intended, but it's not something he can stomach well. And since Cloud didn't answer the first time, he'll repeat himself.] Now, are you okay?
[He's just going to leave out the part where he broke a weight in front of his face with his bare hand.]
He has no right to know what you do or who you talk to, or why. [His tone might be a little harder than intended, but it's not something he can stomach well. And since Cloud didn't answer the first time, he'll repeat himself.] Now, are you okay?
[Well, that explains some things.]
I'm fine. You're the one I'm worried about. He...doesn't take no for an answer. He's gonna know everything eventually anyway, it's not worth you getting hurt over.
[There's a bit of urgency in his tone that may not be quite warranted given that Abel said nothing really happened.]
I'm fine. You're the one I'm worried about. He...doesn't take no for an answer. He's gonna know everything eventually anyway, it's not worth you getting hurt over.
[There's a bit of urgency in his tone that may not be quite warranted given that Abel said nothing really happened.]
[Abel is still a novice here, but watching Shaw speak to Cain when he'd been here in his place was giving him all kinds of examples of what he should be.]
I will be fine. I didn't take this position because it was safe, I did it because it was worth it, and your safety is also worth it. [Not that he doesn't think what he'd just done was stupid, but in his mind it was necessary.] Just because he will doesn't mean it isn't worth protecting. No matter if it's tomorrow or six months from now, the only time he should ever get to know why you do anything is because you let him know yourself.
[His own name had been just gifted to someone he'd intended on telling it to eventually far sooner than he wanted because of Cain, even the little things that he shared weren't his to know or tell. Cloud deserved better than he got.]
I will be fine. I didn't take this position because it was safe, I did it because it was worth it, and your safety is also worth it. [Not that he doesn't think what he'd just done was stupid, but in his mind it was necessary.] Just because he will doesn't mean it isn't worth protecting. No matter if it's tomorrow or six months from now, the only time he should ever get to know why you do anything is because you let him know yourself.
[His own name had been just gifted to someone he'd intended on telling it to eventually far sooner than he wanted because of Cain, even the little things that he shared weren't his to know or tell. Cloud deserved better than he got.]
[Cloud's quiet for a moment. He could explain - tell Abel that Sephiroth knows everything about him for much more insidious reasons than a little stalking, and Cloud doesn't think he's strong enough anymore to force him out if he decides to invade his mind again. Tell him that no amount of trying to keep information from Sephiroth will help if he really wants to know. But he's not going to.]
...mm. Guess I'm not used to being in a position to need protection.
[Another pause.]
But...thanks. You feel pretty strongly about this, huh?
...mm. Guess I'm not used to being in a position to need protection.
[Another pause.]
But...thanks. You feel pretty strongly about this, huh?
I'm sure you're also capable of protecting yourself, but you shouldn't have to. [Like he'd said before, Cloud's priority and responsibility should be himself.
The question gets a sigh out of him, gently biting at the scar on his lip out of habit before speaking up.] I just...Don't want to stand idly by and watch the same thing happen to someone else. I won't speak for you, but i'll definitely speak up if you need me to.
[Because no one had been there to speak up for him when he'd needed it, it's the least he can offer for Cloud.]
The question gets a sigh out of him, gently biting at the scar on his lip out of habit before speaking up.] I just...Don't want to stand idly by and watch the same thing happen to someone else. I won't speak for you, but i'll definitely speak up if you need me to.
[Because no one had been there to speak up for him when he'd needed it, it's the least he can offer for Cloud.]
[Cloud frowns. Yes, he should be protecting himself, and others besides. He hates feeling helpless. Hates it maybe more than anything. But anything he says here is likely to get him another stern talking-to, so he doesn't reply to that.
Watch the same thing happen...right. Abel said his ex acted like he owned him. It's certainly a sentiment Cloud understands. He just doesn't like being on this side of it.]
Well...I appreciate it.
Watch the same thing happen...right. Abel said his ex acted like he owned him. It's certainly a sentiment Cloud understands. He just doesn't like being on this side of it.]
Well...I appreciate it.
It'll be good for me too, so don't worry about it. Besides, it's easier to stand up for someone else than it is to do it for yourself. Exercising that so it gets easier isn't a chore and neither are you.
[Like giving himself permission to say all the things he hadn't said for himself and should have when it was happening. It's not entirely selfless of him Cloud, don't feel too bad.]
[Like giving himself permission to say all the things he hadn't said for himself and should have when it was happening. It's not entirely selfless of him Cloud, don't feel too bad.]
[And neither are you. Been a while since Cloud hasn't felt like a burden to everyone around him. But if Abel says he wants to help, Cloud's not gonna stop him.]
Right. Sorry you had to go through whatever happened with your ex. You're a good guy, Abel.
Right. Sorry you had to go through whatever happened with your ex. You're a good guy, Abel.
[Abel tries not to frown at the comment. Not all of it had been bad, just...the fact that it hadn't been real. And how much of an asshole Cain had been. And the fact that he'd permanently scarred his face just so people wouldn't talk to him. Just, things.]
You just missed him actually, he and I traded places during the Flood. I'm glad you didn't get the chance to meet him, he's not good at polite conversation.
[The compliment makes him smile though, appreciating it.] Thank you, I try to be. It can be difficult sometimes, though.
You just missed him actually, he and I traded places during the Flood. I'm glad you didn't get the chance to meet him, he's not good at polite conversation.
[The compliment makes him smile though, appreciating it.] Thank you, I try to be. It can be difficult sometimes, though.
Neither am I. [Good at polite conversation, that is. Or most conversation, really. But Cloud says it in a tone that suggests if he did meet Cain, he wouldn't worry about being 'polite' to him in the least.
He shrugs slightly.]
Difficult maybe, but you're a warden. Seems to me like you do more than just 'try.'
He shrugs slightly.]
Difficult maybe, but you're a warden. Seems to me like you do more than just 'try.'
[He seemed to be doing just fine now.] I have my off days. Didn't act very warden-like when I first got here. In fact I would say my adjustment period was rather embarrassing with how much of an ass I was.
[It was still circling around to bite him in the ass, the importance of first impressions and his first three days on board.] But thank you. I'm still finding my footing. Takes a bit, but I think I might almost be there. It'd been two months so that's long enough to learn to keep my head above the water.
[It was still circling around to bite him in the ass, the importance of first impressions and his first three days on board.] But thank you. I'm still finding my footing. Takes a bit, but I think I might almost be there. It'd been two months so that's long enough to learn to keep my head above the water.
I'll tell you a secret, Cloud. [He smiles, just a little.] I might still be, but I learned to keep my mouth shut.
No one likes bitchy except you when you're talking to yourself and can say all the things you'd like to say outloud but really shouldnt.
No one likes bitchy except you when you're talking to yourself and can say all the things you'd like to say outloud but really shouldnt.
I suppose, though there is definitely enough tension on board to try and not start fights.
I'm used to talk just being talk, you get into a real fight back home, you get sent to the brig. It doesn't work like that here, but there is still usually some kind of punishment.
Best to avoid it If you don't care what they think, you shouldn't care enough about what they might say to get into a fight anyway.
I'm used to talk just being talk, you get into a real fight back home, you get sent to the brig. It doesn't work like that here, but there is still usually some kind of punishment.
Best to avoid it If you don't care what they think, you shouldn't care enough about what they might say to get into a fight anyway.
Fights for their own sake are one thing. Playing nice just to make people like me? Not my style.
[Not that Cloud's afraid of a fight, anyway. Or punishment, for that matter. If someone pisses him off enough or makes themselves a danger to others, he'll throw a punch regardless of whether he's 'supposed' to or not. But he doesn't go around picking them, either, so there's that at least.]
[Not that Cloud's afraid of a fight, anyway. Or punishment, for that matter. If someone pisses him off enough or makes themselves a danger to others, he'll throw a punch regardless of whether he's 'supposed' to or not. But he doesn't go around picking them, either, so there's that at least.]
To keep the peace rather. There are plenty of people who don't like me, I might try to fix it myself, but you don't have to.
[He shrugs, unsure if they're getting anywhere with this anyways.] Regardless, just something to keep in mind. It's incredibly easy to ruffle feathers on this boat, it feels rather small after a while and it's hard to avoid people you dislike without just hiding in your room. [He's been dancing around Jacob and it still feels awkward when they pass each other in the hall or can just see him seated across the room during meals.] You'll do what you'll do though I imagine. I just hope you're careful.
[He shrugs, unsure if they're getting anywhere with this anyways.] Regardless, just something to keep in mind. It's incredibly easy to ruffle feathers on this boat, it feels rather small after a while and it's hard to avoid people you dislike without just hiding in your room. [He's been dancing around Jacob and it still feels awkward when they pass each other in the hall or can just see him seated across the room during meals.] You'll do what you'll do though I imagine. I just hope you're careful.
[Oh, he'll always worry about you Cloud, you're a friend already, and he's perhaps a little attached already seeing as their situations seemed rather similar. Not exactly, but it definitely was a kind of mirror, just one of those strange ones that stretched and warped you until most things were tweaked in ways you didn't expect.]
I'll try not to, just take good care of yourself and then I'll have no reason to. Though on that note, I should let you go. Let me know if you need anything, alright? I'm usually available and I don't mind a call.
I'll try not to, just take good care of yourself and then I'll have no reason to. Though on that note, I should let you go. Let me know if you need anything, alright? I'm usually available and I don't mind a call.
Cloud! Important question.
Is Sephiroth bothering you?
Is Sephiroth bothering you?
I'm sure you can handle Sephiroth. On the other hand, I don't want you to feel obligated to handle Sephiroth, and I certainly don't want you to feel like you're obligated to keep Sephiroth from hassling other people.
Among other things, that's literally my job.
Among other things, that's literally my job.
[This again.]
...yeah. I get that. But he's hassling Abel because of me. Can't just sit around and do nothing.
[Doing nothing when Sephiroth's 'hassling' other people is why he keeps failing to save them. And this is something he feels like he finally can do something about. He has to make up for his failures. That's what this place is all about, right?]
...yeah. I get that. But he's hassling Abel because of me. Can't just sit around and do nothing.
[Doing nothing when Sephiroth's 'hassling' other people is why he keeps failing to save them. And this is something he feels like he finally can do something about. He has to make up for his failures. That's what this place is all about, right?]
I'm talking to him and Abel about it already.
[Cloud exhales quietly in frustration, closing his eyes for a moment.]
I figured. I just...it's my fault. I have to help.
[If he doesn't, then he's just dumping things on other people to deal with again. Or maybe it's just that he literally can't just...do nothing. The thought of it makes him feel antsy. Even when he left Seventh Heaven, he had a task. A job. He was going to find a cure for Denzel. He was going to help people. Pull his weight. He failed, but...it kept him going.]
I figured. I just...it's my fault. I have to help.
[If he doesn't, then he's just dumping things on other people to deal with again. Or maybe it's just that he literally can't just...do nothing. The thought of it makes him feel antsy. Even when he left Seventh Heaven, he had a task. A job. He was going to find a cure for Denzel. He was going to help people. Pull his weight. He failed, but...it kept him going.]
Sephiroth freaking out Abel by being himself is not your fault, Cloud.
But, quick check: what are you planning to do?
But, quick check: what are you planning to do?
Okay. [If his plan sounds too silly to himself to say out loud, then it probably was one he shouldn't try out.]
I'm not saying this to discourage you from doing anything. I just want to workshop it first. Collaborate. Right?
I'm not saying this to discourage you from doing anything. I just want to workshop it first. Collaborate. Right?
Well, let's start with defining goals.
You're worried about Sephiroth messing with other people because of you. Do you want him interacting with you at all, or do you want space?
You're worried about Sephiroth messing with other people because of you. Do you want him interacting with you at all, or do you want space?
[That sure is a question. It's tempting to say he wants space, that he just wants to be rid of having to deal with Sephiroth at all. But it's unrealistic in more ways than one. For one thing, he's loath to put Yunlan in the position of trying (and inevitably failing) to enforce that. For another, Cloud knows it's always just a matter of time before the reunion brings him face-to-face with Sephiroth again no matter how much he tries to avoid him. And for a third...
...well, he still has some thinking to do on the Sephiroth Problem. Hard to say whether he'll truly want that space when he gets to wherever that road might lead. He shakes his head.]
Interacting with me's fine.
...well, he still has some thinking to do on the Sephiroth Problem. Hard to say whether he'll truly want that space when he gets to wherever that road might lead. He shakes his head.]
Interacting with me's fine.
Okay.
I don't want to put you on the spot feeling like you have to manage him, so I want to say, if you get worried about how he interacts with anyone else, tag me in, all right?
But I also don't want to make you feel like you can't deal with him yourself if and only if you want to.
So, how about: I'll let you handle how he interacts with you and vice versa, but if there's something that's really bugging you, you can call me about that, too, and I can butt in.
I don't want to put you on the spot feeling like you have to manage him, so I want to say, if you get worried about how he interacts with anyone else, tag me in, all right?
But I also don't want to make you feel like you can't deal with him yourself if and only if you want to.
So, how about: I'll let you handle how he interacts with you and vice versa, but if there's something that's really bugging you, you can call me about that, too, and I can butt in.
Good. And also, Cloud?
Sorry about the many and diverse shitty things about this ship, but welcome back to the Barge.
Sorry about the many and diverse shitty things about this ship, but welcome back to the Barge.
[Allen still isn't quite sure what to do with temporary pairings in general, but he hasn't heard 'Cloud' on the list before. If the man (?) is new, then his responsibilities seem more straightforward.]
Hello, I'm Allen Walker.
I wondered if you'd like to meet?
Hello, I'm Allen Walker.
I wondered if you'd like to meet?
[Right. The guy he got temporarily paired with. Cloud barely knows what to expect from a permanent warden, let alone a temporary one. Sharing everything that's wrong with him with a stranger who is only responsible for him for a few weeks? No thanks. But at least he has someone to go to when he runs into limitations and barriers, that's something.]
Sure. Where'd you have in mind?
Sure. Where'd you have in mind?
I thought the library. There are rooms there you can talk in.
[He doesn't necessarily think it's likely that they'll talk about anything that needs real privacy, but there's no reason not use it since it's available.]
[He doesn't necessarily think it's likely that they'll talk about anything that needs real privacy, but there's no reason not use it since it's available.]
Works for me. I'm right down the hall, anyway. Be there in five.
[Cloud hangs up without any of the usually expected social niceties, but it's not you, Allen, he's just like this.
Sure enough, in five minutes he's in the library, idly examining a shelf of books with arms folded and leaning against a wall. 5'8", blond, dressed in black, and slightly glowing, vivid blue eyes with an unnaturally green corona around the pupils. He's not a man who fidgets - he's still as he waits.]
[Cloud hangs up without any of the usually expected social niceties, but it's not you, Allen, he's just like this.
Sure enough, in five minutes he's in the library, idly examining a shelf of books with arms folded and leaning against a wall. 5'8", blond, dressed in black, and slightly glowing, vivid blue eyes with an unnaturally green corona around the pupils. He's not a man who fidgets - he's still as he waits.]
[Allen is used to people with even fewer social niceties, so he isn't bothered that Cloud just hangs up. He could've hung up without agreeing to meet. Allen doesn't have to look around when he enters the library, as Timcanpy gives his shoulder a slight nudge.
Allen's also 5'8", though he has the look of a teenager who hasn't yet grown into his adult height. He has white hair and silver-grey eyes, but it's the scar that cuts across his eye and down the left side of his face that's particularly memorable. He's dressed in black too, though his uniform has red trims. He lifts his hand, smiling.]
Hello.
Allen's also 5'8", though he has the look of a teenager who hasn't yet grown into his adult height. He has white hair and silver-grey eyes, but it's the scar that cuts across his eye and down the left side of his face that's particularly memorable. He's dressed in black too, though his uniform has red trims. He lifts his hand, smiling.]
Hello.
[Cloud turns at the greeting and takes a moment to take in this...kid? He looks young, but so did Hanna and that was deceptive, so Cloud's not going to jump to any conclusions just yet. Strange scar, what looks like some kind of uniform. Interesting.
He gestures with his chin a little by way of a greeting response.]
Allen, I take it?
He gestures with his chin a little by way of a greeting response.]
Allen, I take it?
Yes, it's nice to meet you in person, Cloud [there's a faint hesitation there, not from the name but at the level of informality].
There's a room on the left? [The golem - proves not to just be a gold ball on Allen's shoulder, as Timcanpy spreads his wings to lead the way.]
There's a room on the left? [The golem - proves not to just be a gold ball on Allen's shoulder, as Timcanpy spreads his wings to lead the way.]
[Cloud doesn't mind Allen's formality, but he has no intention of mimicking it for the sake of propriety or whatever. The only context in which Cloud gives a shit about formality is a military one, and he's been ex-military for a good long time now.
He gives the...winged ball? a curious glance as he follows behind them both. It appears Cloud is not a man of all that many words.]
He gives the...winged ball? a curious glance as he follows behind them both. It appears Cloud is not a man of all that many words.]
[Allen isn't uncomfortable with the silence. He tends towards quiet himself, when it's not needed for work. He doesn't feel any tension in it, so after his automatic swift check of the room - he's not exactly 'military', but an Exorcist is a soldier that always has to expect attacks - he simply takes a seat.]
You arrived recently?
[He believes in being polite, and that can sometimes mean being to the point with someone who isn't overly talkative.]
You arrived recently?
[He believes in being polite, and that can sometimes mean being to the point with someone who isn't overly talkative.]
[Cloud performs the same room check as he passes through the doorway and then sits down himself, though he avoids sitting directly across from Allen. Somewhere off to the side a bit and not too close - and facing the door. Because you never know, and Cloud can't afford to let down his guard while he's missing most of his enhancements. Not that he tends to anyway.]
Yup.
[For a moment it seems like he might just leave it at that, but he knows he's supposed to be working with his warden if he wants to achieve his goals, so after a pause he follows up with,]
Not quite a month ago.
Yup.
[For a moment it seems like he might just leave it at that, but he knows he's supposed to be working with his warden if he wants to achieve his goals, so after a pause he follows up with,]
Not quite a month ago.
[Allen nods, it fits with what he'd thought. Not just arrived, but still recent enough that he hadn't been there for last month's pairings.]
Did you chose to come here?
Did you chose to come here?
Before I came here, I was an Exorcist. Does your world have ghosts?
[Cloud's eyes narrow slightly in something like irritation.]
Sure does. At least, this one train graveyard does. Or...did.
[Before Sector 7 became nothing but a ruin. Though who knows? For all Cloud knows, they're still there, wandering around the rubble and acting like jackasses.]
Sure does. At least, this one train graveyard does. Or...did.
[Before Sector 7 became nothing but a ruin. Though who knows? For all Cloud knows, they're still there, wandering around the rubble and acting like jackasses.]
On my world, there's a man who takes the spirits of the dead and combines the spirit with machine to make monsters - while the soul of the person can only watch as they kill those close to them and then keep on killing.
Exorcists are tasked with destroying Akuma. [He's stating facts, not without emotion - he can't speak of Akuma without emotion - but it's just meant to lay out the information. He rubs the back of his neck, with a small sigh.]
They move about cloaked in flesh, but I can always see their true forms, and what they carry with them.
Exorcists are tasked with destroying Akuma. [He's stating facts, not without emotion - he can't speak of Akuma without emotion - but it's just meant to lay out the information. He rubs the back of his neck, with a small sigh.]
They move about cloaked in flesh, but I can always see their true forms, and what they carry with them.
[Now Cloud's focus is entirely on Allen as he frowns deeply.]
Experimenting with souls to make monsters. Now that's familiar. Never heard of Akuma, but where I'm from, souls return to the planet when they die. To the Lifestream. And some assholes figured out how to extract and refine pure Lifestream for power.
[He glances down at his own upturned palm for a moment. Mako is ultimately made of souls, and like everything else Shinra made, he's powered by it, too.
But he looks back up at Allen soon enough.]
You can see 'em. Guessing that means other people can't?
Experimenting with souls to make monsters. Now that's familiar. Never heard of Akuma, but where I'm from, souls return to the planet when they die. To the Lifestream. And some assholes figured out how to extract and refine pure Lifestream for power.
[He glances down at his own upturned palm for a moment. Mako is ultimately made of souls, and like everything else Shinra made, he's powered by it, too.
But he looks back up at Allen soon enough.]
You can see 'em. Guessing that means other people can't?
The Earl goes to people who have just lost someone they love and tells them he can give them back. If they say yes... he forces the ghost to kill the person who loved them and live within their body.
[It's a monstrous act. So much so that say that feels redundant. He touches his left eye for a moment.]
No, they can't. That's why Exorcists wear this uniform. Akuma are driven to try to kill Exorcists, so we draw their attacks as much as we can. [As most Exorcists can't see the Akuma until after they evolve into a more monstrous form, they're often a bit jumpy.]
[It's a monstrous act. So much so that say that feels redundant. He touches his left eye for a moment.]
No, they can't. That's why Exorcists wear this uniform. Akuma are driven to try to kill Exorcists, so we draw their attacks as much as we can. [As most Exorcists can't see the Akuma until after they evolve into a more monstrous form, they're often a bit jumpy.]
[Cloud's eyes widen in an alarmed sort of horror. If such a thing had happened when he'd lost - well, any of the loved ones he's let die lost, he knows himself well enough to know he'd probably have said yes too, eventually.]
What's the point? What's he get out of that?
[Cloud tilts his head slightly with another curious look at that scar, but he doesn't ask.]
Mm. Why are you telling me all this?
What's the point? What's he get out of that?
[Cloud tilts his head slightly with another curious look at that scar, but he doesn't ask.]
Mm. Why are you telling me all this?
He wants to destroy the world, but I think the point of doing it that way is because he enjoys inflicting pain.
[Allen doesn't hate many people. There are days when he doesn't even hate the Millennium Earl. Then there are times when all he can remember the weight of his dead father on his ten year old shoulders and the Millennium Earl smiling down at him. He shakes his head.]
The only thing I can do for the dead back home is let them rest. Set them free. Here... You chose to come here for a reason. [He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish.] I don't expect you share that with a stranger, but someone will know eventually. So it only seems fair to share the life that brought me here. [He has several stark examples of what a lack of information can do to your choices.]
[Allen doesn't hate many people. There are days when he doesn't even hate the Millennium Earl. Then there are times when all he can remember the weight of his dead father on his ten year old shoulders and the Millennium Earl smiling down at him. He shakes his head.]
The only thing I can do for the dead back home is let them rest. Set them free. Here... You chose to come here for a reason. [He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish.] I don't expect you share that with a stranger, but someone will know eventually. So it only seems fair to share the life that brought me here. [He has several stark examples of what a lack of information can do to your choices.]
[It's all too easy to go back in Cloud's memories to a time when Sephiroth spoke that way, too.
Good, Cloud. Fill your empty heart with rage.
Through suffering, you will grow strong. Isn't that what you want?]
...yeah. People who wanna destroy the world usually do.
[Not anymore, though. Cloud wonders what would happen if this Earl showed up on the Barge. Would he eventually find something better to live for, too? ...then Cloud remembers what seems to have been Sephiroth's 'something better' and decides to end that train of thought right there.]
So...you're here to help the dead.
[Cloud wrestles for a moment with the idea of telling this stranger anything. He doesn't think Allen's intention was to make him feel obliged to return the favor, and he doesn't really feel obliged anyway. But what good is having a warden who knows nothing about him? Still...ugh, this was easier when he met Yunlan who already knew everything important.
He sits forward to lean his elbows on his knees, head slightly bowed to let his hair fall over his face a bit. He finally does speak, in somewhat of a subdued tone.]
Somebody tried to destroy my world, too. Almost succeeded. I stopped him, but...that wasn't the end of it. The consequences of everything he did, everything I did...threatened humanity all over again. I dealt with it like an asshole, and in return it took me out. Me, and a lot of others.
[Vague enough not to feel too personal, but gets across enough to give some idea of why he's here - at least, he thinks so. After all, every inmate's got debts to pay and mistakes to make up for. Not like he was gonna be able to tell any of his story without taking responsibility for something.
Besides, it's in his best interests to at least let Allen know he's not some kind of murderous creep.]
Good, Cloud. Fill your empty heart with rage.
Through suffering, you will grow strong. Isn't that what you want?]
...yeah. People who wanna destroy the world usually do.
[Not anymore, though. Cloud wonders what would happen if this Earl showed up on the Barge. Would he eventually find something better to live for, too? ...then Cloud remembers what seems to have been Sephiroth's 'something better' and decides to end that train of thought right there.]
So...you're here to help the dead.
[Cloud wrestles for a moment with the idea of telling this stranger anything. He doesn't think Allen's intention was to make him feel obliged to return the favor, and he doesn't really feel obliged anyway. But what good is having a warden who knows nothing about him? Still...ugh, this was easier when he met Yunlan who already knew everything important.
He sits forward to lean his elbows on his knees, head slightly bowed to let his hair fall over his face a bit. He finally does speak, in somewhat of a subdued tone.]
Somebody tried to destroy my world, too. Almost succeeded. I stopped him, but...that wasn't the end of it. The consequences of everything he did, everything I did...threatened humanity all over again. I dealt with it like an asshole, and in return it took me out. Me, and a lot of others.
[Vague enough not to feel too personal, but gets across enough to give some idea of why he's here - at least, he thinks so. After all, every inmate's got debts to pay and mistakes to make up for. Not like he was gonna be able to tell any of his story without taking responsibility for something.
Besides, it's in his best interests to at least let Allen know he's not some kind of murderous creep.]
[We're "destroyers," not "saviors."
"...I know. But I... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others."
Allen still remembers those words, from so long ago. He doesn't know if he has managed to do anything but destroy.
He looks down at his hands.]
...I would like to help the dead in a way that's not just destroying them. It's kind of a selfish wish...
[The Barge offers a chance for it to not only to be selfish.]
I think about that sometimes: what will happen when we stop the Earl. There will still be consequences. Not ones that threaten the world [hopefully], but all those people will still be dead. The pain they left behind will still be there. Everything the Black Order has done to stop him.
Even if it turns out it was truly needed to save the world, it doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. We'll still have to bear that guilt. Even before there's some sort of 'end'...
Just before I came here, there were already consequences to some of the experiments they've done. Alma killed a lot of people. He would've killed if more if he could. I still chose to send him to a place where he could have peace in the time he had left, away from the Order. [He laughs a little, regaining his smile.]. Against their orders, so I lost my job for that. If the Admiral hadn't offered me a job, I'd probably be back to street performance!
"...I know. But I... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others."
Allen still remembers those words, from so long ago. He doesn't know if he has managed to do anything but destroy.
He looks down at his hands.]
...I would like to help the dead in a way that's not just destroying them. It's kind of a selfish wish...
[The Barge offers a chance for it to not only to be selfish.]
I think about that sometimes: what will happen when we stop the Earl. There will still be consequences. Not ones that threaten the world [hopefully], but all those people will still be dead. The pain they left behind will still be there. Everything the Black Order has done to stop him.
Even if it turns out it was truly needed to save the world, it doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. We'll still have to bear that guilt. Even before there's some sort of 'end'...
Just before I came here, there were already consequences to some of the experiments they've done. Alma killed a lot of people. He would've killed if more if he could. I still chose to send him to a place where he could have peace in the time he had left, away from the Order. [He laughs a little, regaining his smile.]. Against their orders, so I lost my job for that. If the Admiral hadn't offered me a job, I'd probably be back to street performance!
Edited 2024-07-17 04:55 (UTC)
When all you do is fight, it's not selfish to want to build something up while you're breaking things down.
[Cloud speaks from experience; he learned this from Zack, back then.
He listens to Allen's musing thoughtfully, looking a bit grim at the mention of bearing the guilt. But then--]
Nothin' wrong with street performance. But you did what you thought was right, that's the important thing. Not all orders oughta be followed.
[Cloud speaks from experience; he learned this from Zack, back then.
He listens to Allen's musing thoughtfully, looking a bit grim at the mention of bearing the guilt. But then--]
Nothin' wrong with street performance. But you did what you thought was right, that's the important thing. Not all orders oughta be followed.
There's nothing wrong with it, but you often spend most of time broke. There's a lot of just scraping by hoping the tricks you know will get you enough so you can eat, and if it's enough for food it's not always enough for a place to sleep that isn't in some alley.
[After a moment's thought he adds:] In my experience.
[After a moment's thought he adds:] In my experience.
Hm.
[It's a bit of an odd thought to Cloud, whose most relevant city experience was in Midgar, where the poor and the well-to-do were separated by a massive vertical distance. And then Edge, in which pretty much everyone is poor other than Rufus Shinra, who lives like a hermit anyway.]
That why you joined up with the Exorcists?
[It's a bit of an odd thought to Cloud, whose most relevant city experience was in Midgar, where the poor and the well-to-do were separated by a massive vertical distance. And then Edge, in which pretty much everyone is poor other than Rufus Shinra, who lives like a hermit anyway.]
That why you joined up with the Exorcists?
No, nothing like that. Though they do provide lots of food, as well as everything else! [Food is the most pressing point, though he does like to have a place to sleep, clothes and everything else the Black Order offers.]
You're born an Exorcist, though a lot of people never know unless they come into contact with a fragment of Innocence they bond to. I was born with mine, so I learned about them when I was pretty young. I spent a while training after that, before I joined the Black Order.
You're born an Exorcist, though a lot of people never know unless they come into contact with a fragment of Innocence they bond to. I was born with mine, so I learned about them when I was pretty young. I spent a while training after that, before I joined the Black Order.
[He nods.]
That's what we call our anti-Akuma weapons. You have to be able to connect to a fragment to be an Exorcist. For most people, it takes the form of a piece of... equipment.
It's why Akuma try to kill Exorcists [which is useful in flushing them out. The Earl wants every fragment of Innocence destroyed, so no one can stop him.
That's what we call our anti-Akuma weapons. You have to be able to connect to a fragment to be an Exorcist. For most people, it takes the form of a piece of... equipment.
It's why Akuma try to kill Exorcists [which is useful in flushing them out. The Earl wants every fragment of Innocence destroyed, so no one can stop him.
Why 'innocence'?
[Cloud does appreciate all of this information about his new warden, but once he's got his answer to that...]
Hold up. This is good to know and all, but I need to know what I should be expecting from you. What do you plan to actually do?
[Cloud does appreciate all of this information about his new warden, but once he's got his answer to that...]
Hold up. This is good to know and all, but I need to know what I should be expecting from you. What do you plan to actually do?
Perhaps it's because it's because they're crystal's of God.
[He rubs the back of his neck.]
I don't really know. If you need something, I'll try my best to get it for you. It seems like sometimes that's the best a temporary warden can do. But I guess I'd also say... what do you think it takes to make up for a mistake? Is walking away at the end truly enough? [Because it seems to him that Cloud had said it was enough for Allen, but he doesn't know if he applies that same standard to himself.]
[He rubs the back of his neck.]
I don't really know. If you need something, I'll try my best to get it for you. It seems like sometimes that's the best a temporary warden can do. But I guess I'd also say... what do you think it takes to make up for a mistake? Is walking away at the end truly enough? [Because it seems to him that Cloud had said it was enough for Allen, but he doesn't know if he applies that same standard to himself.]
[I don't really know doesn't inspire much confidence, but it's not like Cloud has any better idea.
The question prompts a bit of silence before he responds.]
Depends. For you, walking away was the brave thing to do. But sometimes...walking away is the mistake.
[It's not hard to guess that Cloud's speaking from experience.]
The question prompts a bit of silence before he responds.]
Depends. For you, walking away was the brave thing to do. But sometimes...walking away is the mistake.
[It's not hard to guess that Cloud's speaking from experience.]
Why did you walk away?
[He knows that everyone's 'graduation' is different, so he can't claim to certainty in how to help someone get there, but he thinks that being able to lay out what might have brought someone to the Barge can be the first step to dealing with it.]
[He knows that everyone's 'graduation' is different, so he can't claim to certainty in how to help someone get there, but he thinks that being able to lay out what might have brought someone to the Barge can be the first step to dealing with it.]
[Another moment of silence, as Cloud considers what to say. There's a lot he could say - not like he's been lacking for time to wallow in his thoughts - but he's not sure where to draw the line, here. Probably somewhere between "because I'm an asshole" and "to wait for death."]
Gave up. On pretty much everything. Friends, family, the future...
[Without realizing it, he brings his right hand up to grip his left arm for a moment; his right arm is exposed, but his left wears a long, flowing sleeve.]
Gave up. On pretty much everything. Friends, family, the future...
[Without realizing it, he brings his right hand up to grip his left arm for a moment; his right arm is exposed, but his left wears a long, flowing sleeve.]
[Allen looks down at his gloved hands.]
I believe that I was right to disobey the Black Order, when I did, but I'm not sure I was right to walk away. I'm... dangerous. Maybe it would've been safer for the world if I stayed locked up.
In not giving up, I might have doomed people I love.
If I made the wrong choice and I ended up here for it... I would still believe that the only way to really move forward would still be to find some sort of belief in the future.
I believe that I was right to disobey the Black Order, when I did, but I'm not sure I was right to walk away. I'm... dangerous. Maybe it would've been safer for the world if I stayed locked up.
In not giving up, I might have doomed people I love.
If I made the wrong choice and I ended up here for it... I would still believe that the only way to really move forward would still be to find some sort of belief in the future.
Which part?
[He’s pretty sure he’s met wardens who’ve fallen into at least one of the categories.]
[He’s pretty sure he’s met wardens who’ve fallen into at least one of the categories.]
I don't know.
I know there are circumstances where it would be better if I was locked up - if it was some place secure. But that's only partly because of me. [He considers it entirely his fault, for the failure of self-control, but he wouldn't blame someone else in his situation the same way.]
I know there are circumstances where it would be better if I was locked up - if it was some place secure. But that's only partly because of me. [He considers it entirely his fault, for the failure of self-control, but he wouldn't blame someone else in his situation the same way.]
[He does have the option, and he appreciates it.]
Thank you for talking to be. I won't keep you.
I hope you'll ask if you need anything.
Thank you for talking to be. I won't keep you.
I hope you'll ask if you need anything.
Clooooud.
[Knock knock knock!]
Anyone home?
[She doesn't want to sneak in, and this isn't for talk time. At all! It's fun time.]
[Knock knock knock!]
Anyone home?
[She doesn't want to sneak in, and this isn't for talk time. At all! It's fun time.]
Oh!
[She squeaks, and hops around to see...Cloud.
Great start.]
Hey...
Nice door.
[Should have just claimed he scared her, or gotten turned into a cat...]
[She squeaks, and hops around to see...Cloud.
Great start.]
Hey...
Nice door.
[Should have just claimed he scared her, or gotten turned into a cat...]
[Deadpan, but it still made her huff in laughter.
Still, she leaned over to touch his arm.]
Do I need a reason to visit you?
[Even if she didn't visit before? It's totally normal.]
Still, she leaned over to touch his arm.]
Do I need a reason to visit you?
[Even if she didn't visit before? It's totally normal.]
I didn't come over to use your bathroom Cloud.
[She offered a gentle sigh, but her hand dropped.]
Can we talk?
[She can raid his closet and talk at the same time.]
[She offered a gentle sigh, but her hand dropped.]
Can we talk?
[She can raid his closet and talk at the same time.]
You mean other then us not talking about what we need to talk about?
Or me absolutely hurting you and needing to apologize?
No, not really.
Or me absolutely hurting you and needing to apologize?
No, not really.
[Cloud can think of a few things they might 'need' to talk about that they haven't, and he's not sure which one this is. Especially after she explains further.]
You haven't hurt me, Aerith. What are you talking about?
[Wait--he realizes he's stopped mid-door-opening, so he finishes that first and gestures a little with his chin for her to go inside. Once she does, he steps in after her and shuts and locks the door behind them. Aerith's been to Nibelheim, so she should recognize that about half of his cabin looks like the inside of his old home there; she hasn't been to the new Seventh Heaven in Edge, but the style that blends with the old-fashioned rural one is a recognizable sort of industrial grunge meets classy tavern.]
You haven't hurt me, Aerith. What are you talking about?
[Wait--he realizes he's stopped mid-door-opening, so he finishes that first and gestures a little with his chin for her to go inside. Once she does, he steps in after her and shuts and locks the door behind them. Aerith's been to Nibelheim, so she should recognize that about half of his cabin looks like the inside of his old home there; she hasn't been to the new Seventh Heaven in Edge, but the style that blends with the old-fashioned rural one is a recognizable sort of industrial grunge meets classy tavern.]
Yes I have.
[It really wasn't a conversation meant for the hallway. So she goes in without a fuss, glancing around. One part a reminder of the past; another of a future she didn't share. Could not share. Not in the way they both would have wanted- her alive.
Lightly, her fingers touch one of the walls, before turning back to him.]
I haven't tried to get to know you, like I said I would. I've pretended that what I said? What I did? Didn't happen. I've been taking advantage of...you just letting me do what I want.
And I keep pretending that I'm not dead.
[It really wasn't a conversation meant for the hallway. So she goes in without a fuss, glancing around. One part a reminder of the past; another of a future she didn't share. Could not share. Not in the way they both would have wanted- her alive.
Lightly, her fingers touch one of the walls, before turning back to him.]
I haven't tried to get to know you, like I said I would. I've pretended that what I said? What I did? Didn't happen. I've been taking advantage of...you just letting me do what I want.
And I keep pretending that I'm not dead.
[Cloud, I'm searching for you...I want to meet you.
Somehow, back then, she knew. Not everything, but she knew enough to know the guy she knew as 'Cloud' wasn't really anyone at all. And then...she was gone before either of them ever had a chance to find the real Cloud.
And he still hasn't.
What she did, what she said - is she talking about...the day he found out she was on the Barge? That certainly is one of those things they should probably talk about. As for taking advantage, well...maybe, but he's never thought of it as a bad thing before, necessarily. If she's doing what she wants, she's happy. And he wants her to be happy. It's difficult for him to say no to her, but it's always been harmless stuff she's wanted. Hasn't it?
...and with that last point, she brings it all full circle to one of the other things he would say they probably should talk about. He tried, that first day, but they got distracted. Or...maybe she distracted him on purpose. But she was just doing it to make it easier on him, right? Can't blame her, really, he was freaking out pretty bad.]
Well...start with telling me why you did all that stuff, then.
[He could say he doesn't feel hurt, but she clearly has feelings she wants to express, and who is he to tell her they're not relevant?]
Somehow, back then, she knew. Not everything, but she knew enough to know the guy she knew as 'Cloud' wasn't really anyone at all. And then...she was gone before either of them ever had a chance to find the real Cloud.
And he still hasn't.
What she did, what she said - is she talking about...the day he found out she was on the Barge? That certainly is one of those things they should probably talk about. As for taking advantage, well...maybe, but he's never thought of it as a bad thing before, necessarily. If she's doing what she wants, she's happy. And he wants her to be happy. It's difficult for him to say no to her, but it's always been harmless stuff she's wanted. Hasn't it?
...and with that last point, she brings it all full circle to one of the other things he would say they probably should talk about. He tried, that first day, but they got distracted. Or...maybe she distracted him on purpose. But she was just doing it to make it easier on him, right? Can't blame her, really, he was freaking out pretty bad.]
Well...start with telling me why you did all that stuff, then.
[He could say he doesn't feel hurt, but she clearly has feelings she wants to express, and who is he to tell her they're not relevant?]
[She knew. Knew that everything that Cloud was, was not entirely his own. That he had been breaking down, the despair hurting him, hurting her as she watched him break into pieces, there in the chapel.
And the reason...she closed her eyes, briefly, before looking up at him with those bright green eyes, up into those mako blue.]
It's selfish really.
[Her voice was quiet. Subdued. Unlike Aerith who was always so bright, so cheerful. But she's at least admitting to what she has done.]
I couldn't stand seeing you in pain. And it was...easier, to act as if nothing was wrong. I was running away, you know? And I was happy.
That you were here. But...Vincent reminded me time has passed. Things have changed, and the world moved on.
...I kissed you because....I wanted to kiss you.
And the reason...she closed her eyes, briefly, before looking up at him with those bright green eyes, up into those mako blue.]
It's selfish really.
[Her voice was quiet. Subdued. Unlike Aerith who was always so bright, so cheerful. But she's at least admitting to what she has done.]
I couldn't stand seeing you in pain. And it was...easier, to act as if nothing was wrong. I was running away, you know? And I was happy.
That you were here. But...Vincent reminded me time has passed. Things have changed, and the world moved on.
...I kissed you because....I wanted to kiss you.
[Cloud is quiet for a moment, absorbing what she's said. Most of it he pretty much figured was the case - she's always been coy and hard to read, always favored distracting him from his troubles, and he's never minded too much before. But the way she did it...
'Because she wanted to.' That really doesn't tell him anything.]
And...why did you want to?
[This is where he thinks he's starting to see the problem, because...nobody who really had feelings for him, wanted him that way, would put it like this, would they? They'd start with those feelings, right? She wouldn't be acting like it was such a bad thing if...she actually cared about him that way.
But he waits. Maybe he's wrong.]
'Because she wanted to.' That really doesn't tell him anything.]
And...why did you want to?
[This is where he thinks he's starting to see the problem, because...nobody who really had feelings for him, wanted him that way, would put it like this, would they? They'd start with those feelings, right? She wouldn't be acting like it was such a bad thing if...she actually cared about him that way.
But he waits. Maybe he's wrong.]
[He's latched onto that. The kiss. And, she supposes...it does make sense.
She tries to think and she can't think of a good answer.
Slowly, Aerith shakes her head.]
Because I care about you. I like you Cloud.
But...I don't think I should kiss you again until I get to know you better.
She tries to think and she can't think of a good answer.
Slowly, Aerith shakes her head.]
Because I care about you. I like you Cloud.
But...I don't think I should kiss you again until I get to know you better.
[Cloud's brow furrows. That's...not really what he expected her to say. And on the one hand, it feels good to know she cares about him. That she likes him, whatever that means. He likes her too. There might have been a time when he'd have said he loved her. But she's been dead and gone for so long, and while he can't really say he's moved on from her death, he isn't carrying any kind of torch. Particularly since Zack is here, and Cloud would jump off a cliff before he'd hurt Zack like that.
So why hasn't Zack come up once yet in her explanation?]
Aerith...you're in love with Zack. Right?
So why hasn't Zack come up once yet in her explanation?]
Aerith...you're in love with Zack. Right?
[She bit her lip. She had been trying to make it just about the two of them- not about her and Zack.
Her face flushed, but she nodded.]
Yes. I love Zack.
[And she had feelings for Cloud too but...it was different. Zack was the sun, and Cloud was the earth. But...time had passed.
And Cloud deserved someone who loved one person completely, not love and care for two.]
Her face flushed, but she nodded.]
Yes. I love Zack.
[And she had feelings for Cloud too but...it was different. Zack was the sun, and Cloud was the earth. But...time had passed.
And Cloud deserved someone who loved one person completely, not love and care for two.]
[It would probably behoove Cloud to actually work out his own feelings before bringing Zack up, the way Aerith intended, but he can't get the thought out of his mind. He nods, still frowning.]
Then...that's the end of it. Isn't it? You love Zack. You 'like' me. You said it yourself, you...don't really know me. More than you even know. There's...it's more complicated than you think.
[As if it wasn't complicated enough just from what she's already said.
The idea of telling Aerith the truth, having to go through the whole humiliating explanation all over again, makes shame rise like bile in his throat. But she deserves to know. She needs to know who Cloud really is - or, at least, who he isn't.]
Then...that's the end of it. Isn't it? You love Zack. You 'like' me. You said it yourself, you...don't really know me. More than you even know. There's...it's more complicated than you think.
[As if it wasn't complicated enough just from what she's already said.
The idea of telling Aerith the truth, having to go through the whole humiliating explanation all over again, makes shame rise like bile in his throat. But she deserves to know. She needs to know who Cloud really is - or, at least, who he isn't.]
Edited 2024-07-31 05:45 (UTC)
[He's making it sound so logical, and really...it hurts. Him, and her. She can feel her fist go over her heart and her distress raising.]
Cloud...
[She starts. Stops. Takes in a deep breath.]
I don't need to know that right now.
I love you as a friend. If I lived, maybe it would have been different.
[Her hand dropped. But she never looked away from his face.]
I'm not even a person to you anymore, am I? So... don't tell me.
Not until you're ready.
Cloud...
[She starts. Stops. Takes in a deep breath.]
I don't need to know that right now.
I love you as a friend. If I lived, maybe it would have been different.
[Her hand dropped. But she never looked away from his face.]
I'm not even a person to you anymore, am I? So... don't tell me.
Not until you're ready.
[Cloud starts out trying to protest that she does need to know. That they can't talk about anything else before she's aware of the truth. But he pauses, mouth half-open, as she keeps going.
I love you as a friend. If I lived, maybe it would have been different. Then why kiss him? Why say she might do it again once she does get to know him? Why--
I'm not even a person to you anymore, am I?
The words stab him through the chest as surely as the Masamune once did. No, she's wrong. She has to be. He stammers for a moment, unable to get any words out, but the look on his face belies the pain he feels at the thought, his desperation to deny it, the fear that he can't.
Eventually, he manages just one word.]
Aerith...
I love you as a friend. If I lived, maybe it would have been different. Then why kiss him? Why say she might do it again once she does get to know him? Why--
I'm not even a person to you anymore, am I?
The words stab him through the chest as surely as the Masamune once did. No, she's wrong. She has to be. He stammers for a moment, unable to get any words out, but the look on his face belies the pain he feels at the thought, his desperation to deny it, the fear that he can't.
Eventually, he manages just one word.]
Aerith...
Don't.
[Her mouth trembles once, showing the emotion she was holding back. She did this. She did this to him, and her. But he had already come up with reasons why he wasn't good enough for her, didn't he?
Or that she wasn't good enough, couldn't love him couldn't try to bring him close and kiss him because...what? Because she was dead? Because he was alive?
Because she was nothing more then a painful memory?
The stammering was answer enough.
She moved to walk past him, her gaze finally sliding away from his face.]
Just...don't.
[Her mouth trembles once, showing the emotion she was holding back. She did this. She did this to him, and her. But he had already come up with reasons why he wasn't good enough for her, didn't he?
Or that she wasn't good enough, couldn't love him couldn't try to bring him close and kiss him because...what? Because she was dead? Because he was alive?
Because she was nothing more then a painful memory?
The stammering was answer enough.
She moved to walk past him, her gaze finally sliding away from his face.]
Just...don't.
[Because Zack loves her, and because Cloud would do anything not to hurt Zack, and because...
...because he doesn't know how to just pick up where they left off as if nothing's changed. He doesn't know how to adjust to her suddenly back in his life. So much of his guilt, his despair, all this time has been bound up in her death. If she's no longer gone, if she's right here, then...what does he do with any of it?
He drops his gaze to the floor and doesn't look up when she passes him by on her way to the door. He's never quite been able to say no to her, so when she tells him 'don't,' he doesn't. Doesn't say another word, doesn't make a move to try to stop her.
Doesn't react at all.]
...because he doesn't know how to just pick up where they left off as if nothing's changed. He doesn't know how to adjust to her suddenly back in his life. So much of his guilt, his despair, all this time has been bound up in her death. If she's no longer gone, if she's right here, then...what does he do with any of it?
He drops his gaze to the floor and doesn't look up when she passes him by on her way to the door. He's never quite been able to say no to her, so when she tells him 'don't,' he doesn't. Doesn't say another word, doesn't make a move to try to stop her.
Doesn't react at all.]
Edited 2024-07-31 06:53 (UTC)
[Why does Sephiroth have to word things like that? Even if, considering the symbolism and importance he attributed to the materia, it might be sort of accurate...but still. He hopes the slight warmth in his cheeks isn't visible.]
I don't need a gift.
I don't need a gift.
[She doesn't give warning, doesn't ask him over the communicator. She knows he may not be here, but Aerith goes to stand by Cloud's door, a plate with a cake in her hands.
Someone is free to tell Cloud that he has a visitor. It's okay.
If she has to, Aerith will wait all day for him to arrive for this simple gift.]
Someone is free to tell Cloud that he has a visitor. It's okay.
If she has to, Aerith will wait all day for him to arrive for this simple gift.]
[Cloud is here, and hasn't left in a day or two. He's feeling...marginally better after Sephiroth's visit, but also has new and exciting things to worry about because of it.
After maybe ten or fifteen minutes, the cat(?) emerges from Sephiroth's cabin across the hall through the cat flap built into the door. It circles warily around Aerith, watching her, and then darts into Cloud's cabin through the matching cat flap in his door.
Then she can hear some sounds that are...not quite meowing?...and Cloud grumbling quietly back at the animal for a few minutes. And then, finally, footsteps as he approaches the door with none too quick a stride, though not a hesitant one.
And then he opens the door, and blinks in surprise.]
Aerith? Uh, I mean...hi.
After maybe ten or fifteen minutes, the cat(?) emerges from Sephiroth's cabin across the hall through the cat flap built into the door. It circles warily around Aerith, watching her, and then darts into Cloud's cabin through the matching cat flap in his door.
Then she can hear some sounds that are...not quite meowing?...and Cloud grumbling quietly back at the animal for a few minutes. And then, finally, footsteps as he approaches the door with none too quick a stride, though not a hesitant one.
And then he opens the door, and blinks in surprise.]
Aerith? Uh, I mean...hi.
[Was that....a cat? It looked like a weird cat. And was that...yup. That was Sephiroth's cabin.
Just like her and Vincent are neighbors, Cloud has a neighbor from their world too. Still, she smiles at the weird cat thing, but doesn't move from where she's stationed.]
Hi Cloud.
[She holds out the plate, with the cake on it.]
Happy birthday.
[It's very to the point, but...there's no point of hiding why she was here, was there?]
Just like her and Vincent are neighbors, Cloud has a neighbor from their world too. Still, she smiles at the weird cat thing, but doesn't move from where she's stationed.]
Hi Cloud.
[She holds out the plate, with the cake on it.]
Happy birthday.
[It's very to the point, but...there's no point of hiding why she was here, was there?]
[Oh, right. Not that Cloud forgot about his birthday or anything, it just hasn't exactly been at the top of his priority list.
He's glad for the excuse to drop his eyes to the cake rather than look her in the eye. There's something familiar about it, though he can't quite put his finger on what.]
Oh. Thanks. You...didn't have to do this.
He's glad for the excuse to drop his eyes to the cake rather than look her in the eye. There's something familiar about it, though he can't quite put his finger on what.]
Oh. Thanks. You...didn't have to do this.
I know. But I wanted to.
[She takes in a deep breath.]
This...I asked the Admiral for your mom's cake.
[And now it's all his. She's not looking at his face either. Just the cake being offered.]
[She takes in a deep breath.]
This...I asked the Admiral for your mom's cake.
[And now it's all his. She's not looking at his face either. Just the cake being offered.]
[Oh.
Cloud stares at it. Now that she's said it, the memory comes flooding back - the warm scent of hazelnut and strawberries and almonds wafting in from the kitchen, the way he would sit at the table watching her ice the finished cake with a little spatula, the way he would insist on having the first bite and she would oblige him with a laugh...]
...you wanna come in?
[Can't eat cake standing in the corridor, after all.]
Cloud stares at it. Now that she's said it, the memory comes flooding back - the warm scent of hazelnut and strawberries and almonds wafting in from the kitchen, the way he would sit at the table watching her ice the finished cake with a little spatula, the way he would insist on having the first bite and she would oblige him with a laugh...]
...you wanna come in?
[Can't eat cake standing in the corridor, after all.]
Okay. Thanks Cloud.
[For Cloud...she wanted his birthday to feel special. That the past wouldn't be full of terrible things.
And a cake made by her? Didn't feel like it would cut it.
So she follows him in, careful to mind the cat. It would be terrible if she dropped such a precious gift.]
[For Cloud...she wanted his birthday to feel special. That the past wouldn't be full of terrible things.
And a cake made by her? Didn't feel like it would cut it.
So she follows him in, careful to mind the cat. It would be terrible if she dropped such a precious gift.]
[Turns out, Aerith has nothing to worry about - the cat scampers well away from her the moment the door's open. Cloud glances after it.]
Dunno what his problem is. Just ignore him.
[It's a 'him' now, he guesses.
He leads them over to the bar, which is what Cloud's got in terms of places to eat in here, and pulls out a stool for her before stepping over to find his own. Not too close, but not too far.
...it's only then that he notices something's changed. He slowly lifts his gaze to look up at the wall behind the bar, taking a few steps back instead of sitting down. A faint sound of surprise, maybe awe, escapes him.]
This is...did you...?
Dunno what his problem is. Just ignore him.
[It's a 'him' now, he guesses.
He leads them over to the bar, which is what Cloud's got in terms of places to eat in here, and pulls out a stool for her before stepping over to find his own. Not too close, but not too far.
...it's only then that he notices something's changed. He slowly lifts his gaze to look up at the wall behind the bar, taking a few steps back instead of sitting down. A faint sound of surprise, maybe awe, escapes him.]
This is...did you...?
[Oh, there it goes. Bemused, she watches it go off and do...cat things, she guesses.
She nods, and walks in, making to gently set the cake down before hopping up onto the stool. Only when Cloud calls attention to it does she look up. Surprised, Aerith peers at it for a few moments before turning her head to look at Cloud.]
Nope, not me. I wished I thought of it.
[This was a really nice gift though. She hopes this too makes Cloud happy.]
She nods, and walks in, making to gently set the cake down before hopping up onto the stool. Only when Cloud calls attention to it does she look up. Surprised, Aerith peers at it for a few moments before turning her head to look at Cloud.]
Nope, not me. I wished I thought of it.
[This was a really nice gift though. She hopes this too makes Cloud happy.]
No - the cake is perfect.
[The response is immediate, but then Cloud's quiet for a long moment, just looking closely at all the details in the mural. Many of his memories might be hazy and jumbled, but he remembers this - everyday life in a small mountain village where nothing important ever happened, according to his younger self. And it may look like the same place they visited on their travels to Aerith, but to Cloud they're worlds apart. The little wooden stand where the ladies used to hawk their pork sandwiches. The way the eaves of certain houses drooped under the weight of age. The hunters with their shotguns and rifles stationed around the town's perimeter, keeping a constant vigil against the fiends coming down from the mountains. The beat-up truck that was the town's only motor vehicle, shared among the farmers and construction workers to haul supplies and crops back and forth to wherever they needed to go.
Cloud doesn't think of Nibelheim as 'home' anymore - hasn't for a long time. For a long time, all those feelings had gone up in smoke along with the rest, and Nibelheim was a place of horror and loss instead. It was difficult to see it as it had been before the fire in his mind's eye. But standing here, looking at the village exactly as it used to be, with the scent of his mom's favorite cake filling his nose...it's impossible not to remember it that way. And impossible not to think of Tifa, of how she might feel if she were here looking at this. Of what she and Marlene and Denzel might be doing now. What Denzel might think of Nibelheim, if somehow he were ever to go there. Boring, probably. That's certainly what Cloud used to think when he was Denzel's age...
He realizes he's been quiet too long and tears his eyes away from the mural, shaking his head a little and clearing his throat.]
...sorry. I'll get some dishes.
[And he goes to do that.]
[The response is immediate, but then Cloud's quiet for a long moment, just looking closely at all the details in the mural. Many of his memories might be hazy and jumbled, but he remembers this - everyday life in a small mountain village where nothing important ever happened, according to his younger self. And it may look like the same place they visited on their travels to Aerith, but to Cloud they're worlds apart. The little wooden stand where the ladies used to hawk their pork sandwiches. The way the eaves of certain houses drooped under the weight of age. The hunters with their shotguns and rifles stationed around the town's perimeter, keeping a constant vigil against the fiends coming down from the mountains. The beat-up truck that was the town's only motor vehicle, shared among the farmers and construction workers to haul supplies and crops back and forth to wherever they needed to go.
Cloud doesn't think of Nibelheim as 'home' anymore - hasn't for a long time. For a long time, all those feelings had gone up in smoke along with the rest, and Nibelheim was a place of horror and loss instead. It was difficult to see it as it had been before the fire in his mind's eye. But standing here, looking at the village exactly as it used to be, with the scent of his mom's favorite cake filling his nose...it's impossible not to remember it that way. And impossible not to think of Tifa, of how she might feel if she were here looking at this. Of what she and Marlene and Denzel might be doing now. What Denzel might think of Nibelheim, if somehow he were ever to go there. Boring, probably. That's certainly what Cloud used to think when he was Denzel's age...
He realizes he's been quiet too long and tears his eyes away from the mural, shaking his head a little and clearing his throat.]
...sorry. I'll get some dishes.
[And he goes to do that.]
[There he is. The Cloud she knew, sweet, if looking at the world that he once knew. She wonders what it would have been like, loving out in the country. Would her childhood been just as happy in the end? Would she been able to find flowers she could have lovingly tended for years?
She doesn't know. And really, it doesn't matter. Her eyes drift over to Cloud, and sees how much it means to him.
But gently, she moves to touch his hand and stop him.]
No- it's okay.
[She's quick to move her hand away, and makes to slide off of her stool. Sitting here-no. It wasn't right. This was his private space, and she was acting as if everything was normal.
It wasn't. Even with what she now knew, thanks to Vincent. It was Cloud's birthday, and this gift wasn't going to have any strings attached. No emotional turmoil. None of that.
That wasn't what a friend would do.]
I just came by to drop off the cake. And, well, to wish you a happy birthday.
That's all.
She doesn't know. And really, it doesn't matter. Her eyes drift over to Cloud, and sees how much it means to him.
But gently, she moves to touch his hand and stop him.]
No- it's okay.
[She's quick to move her hand away, and makes to slide off of her stool. Sitting here-no. It wasn't right. This was his private space, and she was acting as if everything was normal.
It wasn't. Even with what she now knew, thanks to Vincent. It was Cloud's birthday, and this gift wasn't going to have any strings attached. No emotional turmoil. None of that.
That wasn't what a friend would do.]
I just came by to drop off the cake. And, well, to wish you a happy birthday.
That's all.
[Oh.
Well.
Aerith pauses, and comes back. His hand reaching for her. Aerith reaches out slowly, and offers a gentle touch, fingers to fingers.
If he allows it that is.]
I'd be happy to. I just- I didn't want to intrude.
Well.
Aerith pauses, and comes back. His hand reaching for her. Aerith reaches out slowly, and offers a gentle touch, fingers to fingers.
If he allows it that is.]
I'd be happy to. I just- I didn't want to intrude.
[He allows it with a quiet little sigh of relief.]
You never could.
[He'll always welcome her, no matter what.
He drops his hand after a moment to do what he was going to do - fetch plates and forks. That much of the bar supplies came along with the bar itself, at least. The best he can do for a knife to cut the cake with is a butter knife, but it's good enough to work with. He cuts her a slice first, then himself. He sits back down, fork in hand, but he doesn't try it just yet.]
This was the cake my mom always made for my birthdays back then. Brought it to a gathering once or twice, too, but the village didn't invite us to many of those.
[This, at least, isn't particularly melancholy. Just recalling.]
So it was really just for us. And we were okay with that. Though I did bring Tifa a slice or two on the DL.
[He takes a forkful of cake and eats it slowly, eyes closing. He doesn't open them again until a long moment after he's swallowed it, and then he gives the cake a little nod.]
Yeah. It's just right.
[Then he looks at Aerith.]
Your turn.
You never could.
[He'll always welcome her, no matter what.
He drops his hand after a moment to do what he was going to do - fetch plates and forks. That much of the bar supplies came along with the bar itself, at least. The best he can do for a knife to cut the cake with is a butter knife, but it's good enough to work with. He cuts her a slice first, then himself. He sits back down, fork in hand, but he doesn't try it just yet.]
This was the cake my mom always made for my birthdays back then. Brought it to a gathering once or twice, too, but the village didn't invite us to many of those.
[This, at least, isn't particularly melancholy. Just recalling.]
So it was really just for us. And we were okay with that. Though I did bring Tifa a slice or two on the DL.
[He takes a forkful of cake and eats it slowly, eyes closing. He doesn't open them again until a long moment after he's swallowed it, and then he gives the cake a little nod.]
Yeah. It's just right.
[Then he looks at Aerith.]
Your turn.
[She offers a gentle huff, but she's smiling. He always let her in, no matter if she pushed, no matter if she pulled. He just let her do whatever she wanted. And she...he held such a precious place in her heart.
Aerith only wanted to pull and push when he needed it. When he wanted it.
And he opened up to her, explaining the cake, how precious it was. She was glad she made this request.
It made her smile, and she almost forgot the slice in front of her.
So she takes her fork, and she takes a bite. And the taste flows over her tongue, bursting with strawberries, hazelnuts- the taste of Cloud's childhood.]
I should have asked for the recipe too. This is...really, really good.
Aerith only wanted to pull and push when he needed it. When he wanted it.
And he opened up to her, explaining the cake, how precious it was. She was glad she made this request.
It made her smile, and she almost forgot the slice in front of her.
So she takes her fork, and she takes a bite. And the taste flows over her tongue, bursting with strawberries, hazelnuts- the taste of Cloud's childhood.]
I should have asked for the recipe too. This is...really, really good.
[The hints of a proud smile sneak onto Cloud's face as he watches her taste it.]
Yeah. Mom was a great baker. Cook, too. She taught me a little, so I could help her out. Single mom in a small town - she needed the help.
[It's been so long since he's talked to anyone about any of this. It rarely comes up with Tifa anymore - came up with Tifa - because they'd already done all the reminiscing they needed to and they were focused on the future. Or at least, Cloud was trying to be. It's kinda nice to be able to just sit and tell someone about it for no reason more dire than sharing his birthday with her.
He takes another slow bite, and then puts his fork down.]
Aerith...I'm sorry. About what I said, before.
Yeah. Mom was a great baker. Cook, too. She taught me a little, so I could help her out. Single mom in a small town - she needed the help.
[It's been so long since he's talked to anyone about any of this. It rarely comes up with Tifa anymore - came up with Tifa - because they'd already done all the reminiscing they needed to and they were focused on the future. Or at least, Cloud was trying to be. It's kinda nice to be able to just sit and tell someone about it for no reason more dire than sharing his birthday with her.
He takes another slow bite, and then puts his fork down.]
Aerith...I'm sorry. About what I said, before.
You can bake? I didn't know you could bake.
[She likes it. It's not a rush or a push. The weight of the world isn't on them.
It's just two people celebrating a birthday. They can be just two people. No Barge. No tragedy. Just them. But...that too, needed to be said.
Slowly, Aerith reached over to touch the back of Cloud's hand.]
I'm sorry too. I didn't let you talk.
It was really selfish of me.
[She likes it. It's not a rush or a push. The weight of the world isn't on them.
It's just two people celebrating a birthday. They can be just two people. No Barge. No tragedy. Just them. But...that too, needed to be said.
Slowly, Aerith reached over to touch the back of Cloud's hand.]
I'm sorry too. I didn't let you talk.
It was really selfish of me.
Nah, not really. I can mix batter with the best of 'em, though. Taste test like a pro.
[Cloud doesn't move his hand away. Far from it - he reaches over with his other hand to gently rest it on top of hers.]
It's not selfish to take the time and space you need.
[Unless you're Cloud and you take way more than you need. But that's another story.]
I just...wanna come clean. You deserve to know why things were the way they were. Why I was...the way I was. But only when you're ready. Doesn't have to be now.
[Cloud doesn't move his hand away. Far from it - he reaches over with his other hand to gently rest it on top of hers.]
It's not selfish to take the time and space you need.
[Unless you're Cloud and you take way more than you need. But that's another story.]
I just...wanna come clean. You deserve to know why things were the way they were. Why I was...the way I was. But only when you're ready. Doesn't have to be now.
Then we'll have to make something you can test test sometime.
[Cupcakes, cake, anything. Anything that'd be fun.
She could argue too that she went about it the wrong way but no. They both hurt each other. That was enough.
And she doesn't want to pull away from his hands.]
It can be now. The Greenhouse helped.
[She had dirt under her hands, and working as hard as she could? Helped.
She looked up into his face, into the eyes she adored so much. This time, she was confident. She could handle it.]
I'm ready.
[Cupcakes, cake, anything. Anything that'd be fun.
She could argue too that she went about it the wrong way but no. They both hurt each other. That was enough.
And she doesn't want to pull away from his hands.]
It can be now. The Greenhouse helped.
[She had dirt under her hands, and working as hard as she could? Helped.
She looked up into his face, into the eyes she adored so much. This time, she was confident. She could handle it.]
I'm ready.
Heh. Sure. Maybe...apple cinnamon bread. Another Mom staple. Gotta go apple picking first, though.
[Not that they can keep any apples they pick in the Enclosure, but so what? It's the experience that matters. Wow, he hasn't thought about that bread in forever. But he remembers that it was delicious.
He gazes back down at her, at the resolution in her eyes, the certainty. And he nods.]
Okay. Mm...you remember what I told you about what happened in Nibelheim, right?
[Not that they can keep any apples they pick in the Enclosure, but so what? It's the experience that matters. Wow, he hasn't thought about that bread in forever. But he remembers that it was delicious.
He gazes back down at her, at the resolution in her eyes, the certainty. And he nods.]
Okay. Mm...you remember what I told you about what happened in Nibelheim, right?
Oh, that sounds good. We'll figure something out.
[Even if they have to go to the Enclosure for apple picking, it'll be worth the experience.
Ah. And here comes the tough part. She takes in a deep breath and nods.]
Yeah. I remember. It was...really bad.
[To put it mildly.]
When Sephiroth died, right?
[Even if they have to go to the Enclosure for apple picking, it'll be worth the experience.
Ah. And here comes the tough part. She takes in a deep breath and nods.]
Yeah. I remember. It was...really bad.
[To put it mildly.]
When Sephiroth died, right?
Right. But at the time, I didn't remember how it happened. There were a lot of things I didn't remember, and things I remembered...differently from how they really went. Tifa and the others helped me restore my memory before Meteorfall.
[Cloud wonders what Zack's told her, if anything. Wonders if she knows how Zack died, or even that he did definitely die. Nothing for it but to keep going.]
It...wasn't just me and Sephiroth on that mission. It wasn't my mission at all. I was just there on security detail. The other SOLDIER in Nibelheim that day...it was Zack. He was my friend. Best friend I had. Only friend I had, really. Aerith...I never was in SOLDIER. Never made it, not for lack of trying. Everything I told you about...being First Class, joining the program after the war ended, all of that. It was all a lie. I just...didn't realize it.
[His gaze has dropped by then to their hands clasped on the bartop.]
[Cloud wonders what Zack's told her, if anything. Wonders if she knows how Zack died, or even that he did definitely die. Nothing for it but to keep going.]
It...wasn't just me and Sephiroth on that mission. It wasn't my mission at all. I was just there on security detail. The other SOLDIER in Nibelheim that day...it was Zack. He was my friend. Best friend I had. Only friend I had, really. Aerith...I never was in SOLDIER. Never made it, not for lack of trying. Everything I told you about...being First Class, joining the program after the war ended, all of that. It was all a lie. I just...didn't realize it.
[His gaze has dropped by then to their hands clasped on the bartop.]
[She wished she had been with Tifa and the others to help him out. But then, she hadn't known how much they had gone through to bring him back together before saving the world.
But it confirms what Vincent told her. But it still hurts her heart to hear him confess.
Gently, she puts her hand on top of his. And both hands squeeze his.]
Cloud...
[She sighed quietly, before shaking her head.]
You did more then any SOLIDER could. Still do more.
Honestly...you'll always be first class to me.
But it confirms what Vincent told her. But it still hurts her heart to hear him confess.
Gently, she puts her hand on top of his. And both hands squeeze his.]
Cloud...
[She sighed quietly, before shaking her head.]
You did more then any SOLIDER could. Still do more.
Honestly...you'll always be first class to me.
[People keep telling him that, and he knows it's technically true, but...to him, it's less about whether or not he was a SOLDIER and more about the shame of having lived such a revealing, egregious lie for so long.
But he knows what Aerith's trying to say, and he appreciates it. So he squeezes her hands lightly back.]
Thanks. If that were the only lie I lived, maybe I wouldn't be here. But...there's more.
[He's glad to have her hands there to hold onto. It's grounding. Easier not to get swept up in the past this way.]
Tifa and the other villagers never knew I was even there that day. I felt so humiliated by my failure, after all the boasting I did that I was gonna be a SOLDIER, that...I kept my helmet on. Never talked to Tifa at all. I should've told her everything then, but... [He shakes his head.] Did visit my mom, though. Sephiroth gave me the rest of the day off so I could.
...heh. That night, Zack was so excited about the mission he could barely sleep. Kept me up with his stories and chatter, but I didn't mind one bit. He talked about you, y'know. Gushed, really. He couldn't wait to get back to Midgar to see you again.
But he knows what Aerith's trying to say, and he appreciates it. So he squeezes her hands lightly back.]
Thanks. If that were the only lie I lived, maybe I wouldn't be here. But...there's more.
[He's glad to have her hands there to hold onto. It's grounding. Easier not to get swept up in the past this way.]
Tifa and the other villagers never knew I was even there that day. I felt so humiliated by my failure, after all the boasting I did that I was gonna be a SOLDIER, that...I kept my helmet on. Never talked to Tifa at all. I should've told her everything then, but... [He shakes his head.] Did visit my mom, though. Sephiroth gave me the rest of the day off so I could.
...heh. That night, Zack was so excited about the mission he could barely sleep. Kept me up with his stories and chatter, but I didn't mind one bit. He talked about you, y'know. Gushed, really. He couldn't wait to get back to Midgar to see you again.
[She's trying. He was strong in her eyes, strong as Zack as determined if not more so.
But she listens. Listens to his shame of hiding his face to his hometown; hoe he did get to see his mom one last time.
Though hearing that she'd been bragged about...her face warms, and she ducked her head.]
We were going to go on a date when he came back.
[It's a shy admission. But honest all the same.]
I told him I'd wear pink for him. It'd go with the ribbon he gave me when we met.
But she listens. Listens to his shame of hiding his face to his hometown; hoe he did get to see his mom one last time.
Though hearing that she'd been bragged about...her face warms, and she ducked her head.]
We were going to go on a date when he came back.
[It's a shy admission. But honest all the same.]
I told him I'd wear pink for him. It'd go with the ribbon he gave me when we met.
The ribbon... [Cloud glances back at it, nestled in her hair as always.] That was from Zack?
[He can't help glancing down at the matching one he wears around his right bicep. They really were all so connected, weren't they? And she wears pink all the time now...that was for Zack, too, he supposes. No wonder she was immediately drawn to Cloud when they met. That torch was really burning bright, and he never knew. It's a sobering thought, but not one for right now.
Right now, he has more truths to lay bare.]
Most of what happened on the hike up Mt. Nibel, I had right, except of course it was Zack who chatted with Sephiroth and showed off his fiend-killing skills for us. [That has the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips.] I loved watching him fight. It was impressive, sure, but to me, he was an inspiration. I thought, if I could figure out how to be more like Zack, maybe then I'd make SOLDIER. Become a hero. ...embrace my dreams, like he always said.
I did my part, though. Even saved Zack once or twice - he kept turning his back on the enemies without making sure they were dead first. And I was a damn good shot with a rifle. [That much, he can be proud of now, after the fact.]
Up at the reactor...I never went inside that day. I was the one who stayed out front to keep an eye on Tifa. But everything I told you about what happened in there was true.
[He can't help glancing down at the matching one he wears around his right bicep. They really were all so connected, weren't they? And she wears pink all the time now...that was for Zack, too, he supposes. No wonder she was immediately drawn to Cloud when they met. That torch was really burning bright, and he never knew. It's a sobering thought, but not one for right now.
Right now, he has more truths to lay bare.]
Most of what happened on the hike up Mt. Nibel, I had right, except of course it was Zack who chatted with Sephiroth and showed off his fiend-killing skills for us. [That has the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips.] I loved watching him fight. It was impressive, sure, but to me, he was an inspiration. I thought, if I could figure out how to be more like Zack, maybe then I'd make SOLDIER. Become a hero. ...embrace my dreams, like he always said.
I did my part, though. Even saved Zack once or twice - he kept turning his back on the enemies without making sure they were dead first. And I was a damn good shot with a rifle. [That much, he can be proud of now, after the fact.]
Up at the reactor...I never went inside that day. I was the one who stayed out front to keep an eye on Tifa. But everything I told you about what happened in there was true.
Uh huh. He bought for me- as a gift. I'd helped him when we met and...that was the start of everything.
[It's funny to confess it. It seems so long ago now, for so many. But she still remembered. Still keeps two pieces of her heart right there- one, from her mother, the other from her love. It was little wonder she was drawn to him, maybe as much as he was to her. Zack was what brought them together, even after his death.
Maybe Cloud was a person Zack had mentioned, during one of their many calls. Not when it was just the two of them, she thought. That time- it was for each other.
But she listened quietly. Zack...shining brightly. Eliminating threats, filled with honor and hope. There was a worse person to take after, fight like, then Zack Fair.
Hearing that Cloud had to come in later...after Zack fought Sephiroth, a man he no doubt admired greatly...that had to be hard for both of them.]
You still were there, in the end right? And you helped Zack, were his friend.
[More then any other SOLIDER. Technical details aside.]
But...Cloud, there were years when you two went missing.
[Is he ready? She doesn't know. But she'll listen.]
[It's funny to confess it. It seems so long ago now, for so many. But she still remembered. Still keeps two pieces of her heart right there- one, from her mother, the other from her love. It was little wonder she was drawn to him, maybe as much as he was to her. Zack was what brought them together, even after his death.
Maybe Cloud was a person Zack had mentioned, during one of their many calls. Not when it was just the two of them, she thought. That time- it was for each other.
But she listened quietly. Zack...shining brightly. Eliminating threats, filled with honor and hope. There was a worse person to take after, fight like, then Zack Fair.
Hearing that Cloud had to come in later...after Zack fought Sephiroth, a man he no doubt admired greatly...that had to be hard for both of them.]
You still were there, in the end right? And you helped Zack, were his friend.
[More then any other SOLIDER. Technical details aside.]
But...Cloud, there were years when you two went missing.
[Is he ready? She doesn't know. But she'll listen.]
Edited 2024-08-14 03:06 (UTC)
Yeah? Helped him how?
[Zack brought them together...in some ways, that's what Cloud's worried about. But now's not the time for that. Not yet.]
Mm. When Sephiroth went back up there to take Jenova's head, I did follow him, but by the time I got there, Zack had already fought him and lost. I stabbed Sephiroth with Zack's sword. Buster was his, not mine. Sephiroth was pissed, Zack told me to finish him off, so...I did. Threw him into the reactor. But Zack and I both would've bled out, except...Hojo took us to his lab.
[This is harder to talk about. He still doesn't remember most of that time, not in detail. But it's important, and she has to know. His eyes are fixed on the bartop, now.]
We were there for four years before Zack got us out. Experimented on us the same way he experimented on the other survivors, but Zack was pretty much immune to the worst of it.
[His expression twists into something darker.]
Not me, though. No idea how long it took, but by the time Zack busted us out, I'd been out of commission for a while already. Severe mako poisoning. Hojo figured I wouldn't survive. I shouldn't have. But...Zack took me with him. On the run for another year or so, always on the move, nowhere was safe, but he...he still dragged my useless ass all over the continent. Even though the chances I'd ever recover were close to none. He...kept me alive, kept me safe, that whole time.
[Cloud has to pause; he can feel his throat tightening up and he doesn't want to cry. Not here, not now.]
[Zack brought them together...in some ways, that's what Cloud's worried about. But now's not the time for that. Not yet.]
Mm. When Sephiroth went back up there to take Jenova's head, I did follow him, but by the time I got there, Zack had already fought him and lost. I stabbed Sephiroth with Zack's sword. Buster was his, not mine. Sephiroth was pissed, Zack told me to finish him off, so...I did. Threw him into the reactor. But Zack and I both would've bled out, except...Hojo took us to his lab.
[This is harder to talk about. He still doesn't remember most of that time, not in detail. But it's important, and she has to know. His eyes are fixed on the bartop, now.]
We were there for four years before Zack got us out. Experimented on us the same way he experimented on the other survivors, but Zack was pretty much immune to the worst of it.
[His expression twists into something darker.]
Not me, though. No idea how long it took, but by the time Zack busted us out, I'd been out of commission for a while already. Severe mako poisoning. Hojo figured I wouldn't survive. I shouldn't have. But...Zack took me with him. On the run for another year or so, always on the move, nowhere was safe, but he...he still dragged my useless ass all over the continent. Even though the chances I'd ever recover were close to none. He...kept me alive, kept me safe, that whole time.
[Cloud has to pause; he can feel his throat tightening up and he doesn't want to cry. Not here, not now.]
He got lost in the slums. I helped him find his way back up to the plates.
[And a couple of other things, but that was the gist of it. She goes quiet again, listening to the background. So...Cloud had finished him off. Threw him in even, which made her lips quirked. That sounded like something Cloud would do.
But the experiments...she winces, and her grip tightens on his hands briefly. Oh. She knows. She knows it very well.
She supposed Zack had already been augmented. It might have been it. But...four years. Four years. That had to be so hard on both of them.
And mako poisoning...that would explain the mako blue of Cloud's eyes.]
And you beat the odds. Again, and again. Cloud...
I know you don't want to hear this but...you really are amazing.
[And a couple of other things, but that was the gist of it. She goes quiet again, listening to the background. So...Cloud had finished him off. Threw him in even, which made her lips quirked. That sounded like something Cloud would do.
But the experiments...she winces, and her grip tightens on his hands briefly. Oh. She knows. She knows it very well.
She supposed Zack had already been augmented. It might have been it. But...four years. Four years. That had to be so hard on both of them.
And mako poisoning...that would explain the mako blue of Cloud's eyes.]
And you beat the odds. Again, and again. Cloud...
I know you don't want to hear this but...you really are amazing.
Got lost...course he did. [Cloud's tone is fond; Zack is many things, but a savvy navigator, he is not.
Aerith is right: Cloud really doesn't want to hear that he's amazing. Not for this. Not for surviving this. He shakes his head, jaw clenched, but he still holds onto her hands.]
I didn't beat shit. It was all Zack. Worked himself to exhaustion keeping us both out of Shinra's grasp. ...he had a plan. I kinda remember bits and pieces of that year, more closer to the end of it. He told me we were gonna become mercs together in Midgar.
[We're friends, right?]
And he was headed back to Midgar to see you. If...if it wasn't for me slowing him down, he would've gotten back to you so much sooner. Would've gotten back to you at all. Instead, he...
[No, he has to stop again. He finds himself squeezing Aerith's hands a little too tightly and quickly eases up, taking in a slightly shaky breath and letting it out, swallowing hard. He's gotta get through this story. She has to know.]
...Zack died...because of me. We were so close, but Shinra caught up to us. Sent in the army. And Zack, he...
[The price of freedom is steep.]
He fought them all. All by himself. Held them off. Protected me, knowing there was no getting out of there alive. Knowing it might all be for nothing. And I...knew, when he walked away, he wasn't coming back. Wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. Couldn't do anything.
[He's told the story before, but never to the love of Zack's life. Never to a woman who loved Zack so much she waited for him for five long years, hoping against hope that he was still alive and would come back to her.
Except he wasn't, and never would. Because of Cloud.]
Aerith is right: Cloud really doesn't want to hear that he's amazing. Not for this. Not for surviving this. He shakes his head, jaw clenched, but he still holds onto her hands.]
I didn't beat shit. It was all Zack. Worked himself to exhaustion keeping us both out of Shinra's grasp. ...he had a plan. I kinda remember bits and pieces of that year, more closer to the end of it. He told me we were gonna become mercs together in Midgar.
[We're friends, right?]
And he was headed back to Midgar to see you. If...if it wasn't for me slowing him down, he would've gotten back to you so much sooner. Would've gotten back to you at all. Instead, he...
[No, he has to stop again. He finds himself squeezing Aerith's hands a little too tightly and quickly eases up, taking in a slightly shaky breath and letting it out, swallowing hard. He's gotta get through this story. She has to know.]
...Zack died...because of me. We were so close, but Shinra caught up to us. Sent in the army. And Zack, he...
[The price of freedom is steep.]
He fought them all. All by himself. Held them off. Protected me, knowing there was no getting out of there alive. Knowing it might all be for nothing. And I...knew, when he walked away, he wasn't coming back. Wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. Couldn't do anything.
[He's told the story before, but never to the love of Zack's life. Never to a woman who loved Zack so much she waited for him for five long years, hoping against hope that he was still alive and would come back to her.
Except he wasn't, and never would. Because of Cloud.]
[Oh.
She would have liked to it go on about Zack getting lost, some of the silly things he did with his boundless energy. The puppy bouncing before he sobered- after Angeal broke his heart. She remembered that.
To hear that he had been coming back to her, to find her- she would have hid them. If she could have- helped them both hide. Made sure all three of them would have been on the run together. But Shinra...did what Shinra did.
Took care what it thought would be an embarrassment, should Zack and Cloud told their story to the media. It had lost too many first class SOLIDERs already. It was all...so, so awful.
Aerith had to close her eyes, tipping her head down. She was quiet, and her shoulders shook once. He'd been so close.
No wonder she'd felt his death.]
Cloud...
[She shook her head, and her hands squeezed his. Not as tight. But gently. So gently.]
Don't take his choice away from him.
She would have liked to it go on about Zack getting lost, some of the silly things he did with his boundless energy. The puppy bouncing before he sobered- after Angeal broke his heart. She remembered that.
To hear that he had been coming back to her, to find her- she would have hid them. If she could have- helped them both hide. Made sure all three of them would have been on the run together. But Shinra...did what Shinra did.
Took care what it thought would be an embarrassment, should Zack and Cloud told their story to the media. It had lost too many first class SOLIDERs already. It was all...so, so awful.
Aerith had to close her eyes, tipping her head down. She was quiet, and her shoulders shook once. He'd been so close.
No wonder she'd felt his death.]
Cloud...
[She shook her head, and her hands squeezed his. Not as tight. But gently. So gently.]
Don't take his choice away from him.
[Cloud still doesn't know what happened to Angeal, what he did to Zack. Why Zack changed his hair that day, gave that speech that changed Cloud's life. Cloud never asked. He was too chickenshit.
There's a moment, a long moment, while Aerith bows her head, where Cloud wants to just stop here. He doesn't know if he's ready to tell her the rest. The worst part - worse even than Zack's death, which as she points out was Zack's own choice. At least Zack did it knowingly and willingly. The rest is something Cloud did to his memory. His legacy. But Aerith ought to hear what he did from him.]
I...
[His shoulders slump.]
I'm sorry. You're right, I know. I just...wish I could have helped him, at least. Supported him the way he always supported me. All I could do was sit there and listen.
[Zack's battle cries, fewer and weaker as the fight stretched on. Gunfire...so much gunfire. The sounds of Zack's pain, every bullet that pierced his armor or slipped past Buster's blade, his labored breathing by the end...that haunting cacophony, Cloud now remembers all too well.]
There's a moment, a long moment, while Aerith bows her head, where Cloud wants to just stop here. He doesn't know if he's ready to tell her the rest. The worst part - worse even than Zack's death, which as she points out was Zack's own choice. At least Zack did it knowingly and willingly. The rest is something Cloud did to his memory. His legacy. But Aerith ought to hear what he did from him.]
I...
[His shoulders slump.]
I'm sorry. You're right, I know. I just...wish I could have helped him, at least. Supported him the way he always supported me. All I could do was sit there and listen.
[Zack's battle cries, fewer and weaker as the fight stretched on. Gunfire...so much gunfire. The sounds of Zack's pain, every bullet that pierced his armor or slipped past Buster's blade, his labored breathing by the end...that haunting cacophony, Cloud now remembers all too well.]
[Some day, Aerith will tell Cloud why she is so angry at Angeal. She can be friendly with the SOLIDER, but the fact is, she is still so very upset. For Zack's sake, not hers.
No one else saw Zack break down after, unable to do more then cry.]
No...I get it. I really do.
[Another Hans squeeze. Knowing that someone had protected you for so long? Helped you escape experiment after experiment? Was going out there to die and you couldn't do anything about it?
It hurt.]
It must have been terrible.
[And heart breaking. Zack was a first class, meant to go against armies. It must have taken...forever.]
No one else saw Zack break down after, unable to do more then cry.]
No...I get it. I really do.
[Another Hans squeeze. Knowing that someone had protected you for so long? Helped you escape experiment after experiment? Was going out there to die and you couldn't do anything about it?
It hurt.]
It must have been terrible.
[And heart breaking. Zack was a first class, meant to go against armies. It must have taken...forever.]
[Much too long. It truly felt like forever to Cloud at the time. He nods a bit.]
Couldn't tell you why, but somehow by the time it was over, I was able to drag myself over to him. He really did take down the whole army on his own. He was...incredible. But...when I got to him, he was bleeding out. He told me...
[For all the things Cloud still has trouble remembering with clarity, Zack's words that day are etched indelibly in his memory. He closes his eyes as he speaks them to Aerith.]
That I'd live for the both of us. That I'd be...his living legacy. That his honor, his dreams...were mine now. He gave me his sword, and he...he smiled. And I...
[Cloud's eyes open again, but he stares into the middle distance.]
I swore I'd never forget. But...it was a promise I couldn't keep.
Couldn't tell you why, but somehow by the time it was over, I was able to drag myself over to him. He really did take down the whole army on his own. He was...incredible. But...when I got to him, he was bleeding out. He told me...
[For all the things Cloud still has trouble remembering with clarity, Zack's words that day are etched indelibly in his memory. He closes his eyes as he speaks them to Aerith.]
That I'd live for the both of us. That I'd be...his living legacy. That his honor, his dreams...were mine now. He gave me his sword, and he...he smiled. And I...
[Cloud's eyes open again, but he stares into the middle distance.]
I swore I'd never forget. But...it was a promise I couldn't keep.
[It'd drive her crazy, hearing and being unable to help.
And the worst of it was...Cloud having to crawl to a dying man. The man she loved, and the one he adored.
And to forget? All of it? To become the man instead?
The pain Cloud went through- still felt- the guilt of it all...]
Cloud...
[She gently tugged his hands. Tried to tug him to her for a gentle embrace.]
Come here.
[That was his burden. She didn't blame him a wit. The fact he survived after being drenched in mako was a miracle. But that wasn't the issue here.
They both needed to mourn to the person they loved, had left behind: Zack Fair.]
And the worst of it was...Cloud having to crawl to a dying man. The man she loved, and the one he adored.
And to forget? All of it? To become the man instead?
The pain Cloud went through- still felt- the guilt of it all...]
Cloud...
[She gently tugged his hands. Tried to tug him to her for a gentle embrace.]
Come here.
[That was his burden. She didn't blame him a wit. The fact he survived after being drenched in mako was a miracle. But that wasn't the issue here.
They both needed to mourn to the person they loved, had left behind: Zack Fair.]
[It's something Cloud has never been able to do. Mourn. His mother, his hometown, Zack, Wedge and Biggs and Jessie, all of sector 7, Aerith herself...he never had a chance to mourn any of them, not really. By the time any opportunity existed at all, there was rebuilding to think about, work to do, children to take care of - but those are all excuses, he knows. He could have been grieving and moving on along with everyone else. He just...didn't. And then came geostigma, and he got so lost in despair and self-loathing that he couldn't feel anything else.
Most of all, he's never managed to mourn himself. The future that was destroyed in the flames. The years of his life - years when he should have been coming of age, maturing into an adult - taken from him, irretrievable. His sense of self, his identity, any understanding he ever had of who he was, shattered into a million pieces.
So when Aerith tugs him closer, he lets her. And when she gently wraps her arms around him, he returns it in kind, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair.]
Most of all, he's never managed to mourn himself. The future that was destroyed in the flames. The years of his life - years when he should have been coming of age, maturing into an adult - taken from him, irretrievable. His sense of self, his identity, any understanding he ever had of who he was, shattered into a million pieces.
So when Aerith tugs him closer, he lets her. And when she gently wraps her arms around him, he returns it in kind, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair.]
[He needed that chance. The chance to mourn, to process. Everything happened so fast. Everything kept happening. And in a way...he was still so young. He had lost years of where he could have been making friends, hanging out with Zack, doing things that anyone growing up got to do, even in the military.
Instead, he had tragedy, again and again. It's no wonder he had sunk into pain, unable to breathe or reach out.
Aerith rubbed his back slowly, squeezing him. Trying to give him the chance he needed to breathe. Cloud...needed to breathe.
Aerith didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say to that. Nothing would make it better. But she could be here for him. Let him grieve, and encourage him to enjoy a good memory, after.]
Instead, he had tragedy, again and again. It's no wonder he had sunk into pain, unable to breathe or reach out.
Aerith rubbed his back slowly, squeezing him. Trying to give him the chance he needed to breathe. Cloud...needed to breathe.
Aerith didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say to that. Nothing would make it better. But she could be here for him. Let him grieve, and encourage him to enjoy a good memory, after.]
[Cloud has no idea how long he sits there like that, holding Aerith close and being held in return - and breathing. A few silent tears escape his eyes into the curls of her hair, but only a few. How could he have lived for so long without her?
Well, arguably what he was doing wasn't really 'living.' So maybe he didn't, after all.
There's even more to tell her, so much more, but Cloud thinks maybe he's done enough confessing for one day. Maybe both of them are better off if he stops here for now. They've got time, now. He can tell her the rest later.
...they've got time now. So what does he intend to do with it?
Eventually, he draws back from the embrace slowly with a deep sigh, though he keeps his hands resting on her shoulders for a moment.]
Thanks. For...letting me dump all this on you. It probably wasn't what you were hoping for when you came over.
Well, arguably what he was doing wasn't really 'living.' So maybe he didn't, after all.
There's even more to tell her, so much more, but Cloud thinks maybe he's done enough confessing for one day. Maybe both of them are better off if he stops here for now. They've got time, now. He can tell her the rest later.
...they've got time now. So what does he intend to do with it?
Eventually, he draws back from the embrace slowly with a deep sigh, though he keeps his hands resting on her shoulders for a moment.]
Thanks. For...letting me dump all this on you. It probably wasn't what you were hoping for when you came over.
Edited 2024-09-25 06:23 (UTC)
[It had taken so little. A bodyguard and his ward, and their lives had become intertwined.
And then she died. Maybe she had taken a part of him with her, invertingly.
But now there's a chance to heal. Though...she wouldn't be surprised if he tried to sabotage his graduation in an attempt to stay with those he sp dearly loved.
But the crying done, it seemed it was time for apologizing. Aerith shook her head, and touched his cheek. A brief, assuring touch before drawing away.]
It's better then what I thought might happen.
I was worried you wouldn't let me in.
[Silly really. But they had hurt each other, badly.]
And then she died. Maybe she had taken a part of him with her, invertingly.
But now there's a chance to heal. Though...she wouldn't be surprised if he tried to sabotage his graduation in an attempt to stay with those he sp dearly loved.
But the crying done, it seemed it was time for apologizing. Aerith shook her head, and touched his cheek. A brief, assuring touch before drawing away.]
It's better then what I thought might happen.
I was worried you wouldn't let me in.
[Silly really. But they had hurt each other, badly.]
[Cloud's confused expression confirms how silly that worry was, before it's replaced with a firm one as he shakes his head.]
Not a chance. Never. I'll always want you around, no matter what.
[He glances over at the cake for a moment - a birthday gift, but perhaps also a peace offering of a sort. He thinks about what led to their terrible argument in the first place, what he told Sephiroth and Abel about it after the fact.
Then, with a decisive air, he pushes back his stool and stands, only to approach Aerith with his hand extended for a handshake. His tone is decisive, too, but soft. Gentle.]
Name's Cloud. Cloud Strife. It's...good to meet you.
Not a chance. Never. I'll always want you around, no matter what.
[He glances over at the cake for a moment - a birthday gift, but perhaps also a peace offering of a sort. He thinks about what led to their terrible argument in the first place, what he told Sephiroth and Abel about it after the fact.
Then, with a decisive air, he pushes back his stool and stands, only to approach Aerith with his hand extended for a handshake. His tone is decisive, too, but soft. Gentle.]
Name's Cloud. Cloud Strife. It's...good to meet you.
[It was silly, but it was assuring how confused Cloud looked at the very idea. And she felt herself relax at him saying that he'd want her around.
But that hand offering, the introduction...that was right. He was right. She was thoughtful for a few moments, looking at his hand up to his face.
Starting over. They weren't who they said they were, florist and bodyguard. They were more then that now, and would become so much more. Warden and Inmate.
Friend, and friend.
Aerith slid off of her stool, and took his hand, offering a firm, yet gentle shake.]
Aerith Gainsbourgh. Nice to meet you too.
But that hand offering, the introduction...that was right. He was right. She was thoughtful for a few moments, looking at his hand up to his face.
Starting over. They weren't who they said they were, florist and bodyguard. They were more then that now, and would become so much more. Warden and Inmate.
Friend, and friend.
Aerith slid off of her stool, and took his hand, offering a firm, yet gentle shake.]
Aerith Gainsbourgh. Nice to meet you too.
[Cloud's smile is soft. He's glad she understands, and that she agrees. He clasps her hand for a moment or two longer than a typical handshake would entail, squeezing lightly before he lets go and nods.]
Well. We should get to know each other.
[Like normal people would. But...Cloud's not entirely sure how normal people do that.]
Um...you hungry?
Well. We should get to know each other.
[Like normal people would. But...Cloud's not entirely sure how normal people do that.]
Um...you hungry?
I'd like that.
[Her smile was soft, and she took him in. Something had eased in her chest. They'd be okay. Though...it seemed that some things didn't change, despite the years between them.
Her eyes sparkled, but she didn't laugh.]
Starving. Let's eat and we can ask each other questions.
Like...what's your favorite? Coffee? Or tea?
[Little questions. Soft questions, that would get them to know one another, bit by bit.]
[Her smile was soft, and she took him in. Something had eased in her chest. They'd be okay. Though...it seemed that some things didn't change, despite the years between them.
Her eyes sparkled, but she didn't laugh.]
Starving. Let's eat and we can ask each other questions.
Like...what's your favorite? Coffee? Or tea?
[Little questions. Soft questions, that would get them to know one another, bit by bit.]
[Cloud blinks, looking just a tiny bit overwhelmed at the thought of being repeatedly put on the spot and then having to come up with questions in turn, but he lets out a breath in a brief chuckle.]
Hoo boy.
[But he nods and heads for the door, opening it and waiting for her to go through first before following her out into the corridor.]
Coffee. Infantryman's best friend, y'know.
[Because they never knew when one of the higher-ups was going to act on some ridiculous whim and order a bunch of troopers to go do something immediately to satisfy it. No matter what time of night or morning it might be.]
You?
Hoo boy.
[But he nods and heads for the door, opening it and waiting for her to go through first before following her out into the corridor.]
Coffee. Infantryman's best friend, y'know.
[Because they never knew when one of the higher-ups was going to act on some ridiculous whim and order a bunch of troopers to go do something immediately to satisfy it. No matter what time of night or morning it might be.]
You?
Yeah?
[She smiled up at him. She thought that it would be easy but both of them...had different social tiers of how much they could handle. But she at least walked out easy enough, hands behind her back as she walked towards the dining hall.]
Hmm...coffee in the morning, tea at night. Or afternoon.
I like the little kick in the morning.
So...how do you take your coffee?
[Sorry Cloud. You're going to be pestered with the dumbest questions.]
[She smiled up at him. She thought that it would be easy but both of them...had different social tiers of how much they could handle. But she at least walked out easy enough, hands behind her back as she walked towards the dining hall.]
Hmm...coffee in the morning, tea at night. Or afternoon.
I like the little kick in the morning.
So...how do you take your coffee?
[Sorry Cloud. You're going to be pestered with the dumbest questions.]
Mm. It was kinda hectic, being a trooper. Never knew what kinda mission you'd get put on next, where it'd be, when the order would come...sometimes you'd get conflicting orders from two different departments at the same time. Just had to do your best to figure it out, which usually meant not getting a whole lotta sleep.
[It's odd, reminiscing like this about those days. When he worked for Shinra. When he was part of the problem. Before...everything. By the time he met Aerith, the person he's talking about barely existed. But then, that's why they're doing this in the first place.]
Heh. And here I thought all that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed stuff came natural to you.
Black. Sometimes a little milk, if it's shitty coffee. Takes the bitter edge off. I'm guessing...you like it on the sweeter side. Right?
[It's odd, reminiscing like this about those days. When he worked for Shinra. When he was part of the problem. Before...everything. By the time he met Aerith, the person he's talking about barely existed. But then, that's why they're doing this in the first place.]
Heh. And here I thought all that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed stuff came natural to you.
Black. Sometimes a little milk, if it's shitty coffee. Takes the bitter edge off. I'm guessing...you like it on the sweeter side. Right?
It sounds like you were in a tough job. I bet a lot of troopers felt flustered when they got onto active duty.
[Though the idea of Cloud in a uniform...cute.It was funny, trying to find out about his past self, walking in the halls if a ship that was in space so far from home.
Something she thought was impossible.]
My bushy tailness is natural, thank you very much. But sometimes it needs a boost.
Especially because I'm used to awful coffee.
Maybe I just need to learn from someone how to make it right.
[Though that makes her wonder if Shinra troops would get a decent cup.]
[Though the idea of Cloud in a uniform...cute.It was funny, trying to find out about his past self, walking in the halls if a ship that was in space so far from home.
Something she thought was impossible.]
My bushy tailness is natural, thank you very much. But sometimes it needs a boost.
Especially because I'm used to awful coffee.
Maybe I just need to learn from someone how to make it right.
[Though that makes her wonder if Shinra troops would get a decent cup.]
Yeah, it could be tough. But the tough missions were the exciting ones. Half the time we were mobilized in a hurry just to stand guard at some boring as hell executive function.
[It's true, Cloud was adorable in the infantry uniform. He was a hell of an effective trooper, too. In hindsight, he wishes he'd been able to take more pride in the things he was good at back then, instead of focusing so hard on what he couldn't do...but he can't even reliably do that now, let alone when he was 16 and had exactly one friend in the world.]
Mm. Hard to find good coffee in the slums. Not like us bottom rung guys had it that much better when the company was paying for it, but at least there were other places around to get the good stuff on our own dime.
[He shrugs.]
Don't look at me, I'm no barista. Vincent makes pretty good coffee, though. Could ask him.
[It's true, Cloud was adorable in the infantry uniform. He was a hell of an effective trooper, too. In hindsight, he wishes he'd been able to take more pride in the things he was good at back then, instead of focusing so hard on what he couldn't do...but he can't even reliably do that now, let alone when he was 16 and had exactly one friend in the world.]
Mm. Hard to find good coffee in the slums. Not like us bottom rung guys had it that much better when the company was paying for it, but at least there were other places around to get the good stuff on our own dime.
[He shrugs.]
Don't look at me, I'm no barista. Vincent makes pretty good coffee, though. Could ask him.
Cloud Strife, barista. I dunno- it has a nice ring to it.
But so does Cloud Strife, Shinra trooper.
[She shakes her head, smiling. Cloud must have had a lot of moments where he was asleep on his feet. Poor guy.]
But anyway- so does this mean we should steal Vincent's supply, or just bug him to make us coffee in the morning?
But so does Cloud Strife, Shinra trooper.
[She shakes her head, smiling. Cloud must have had a lot of moments where he was asleep on his feet. Poor guy.]
But anyway- so does this mean we should steal Vincent's supply, or just bug him to make us coffee in the morning?
Think I'll just stick with Cloud Strife, delivery boy.
[Though...he didn't get the chance to tell her the rest. The events leading up to Meteorfall, and then the aftermath. The life they tried to build, the world tried to rebuild, all the ways he derailed their lives for the worse.
His delivery service, though, that's a positive. He can tell her about that.]
Oh, uh - after everything with Sephiroth was over, Tifa reopened Seventh Heaven in a new location and I started Strife Delivery Service based out of it.
[He could tell her more, but...the more he says, the closer he skirts to the stuff he doesn't want to talk about right now. So he leaves it at that for now.]
Bug him. Definitely.
[Though...he didn't get the chance to tell her the rest. The events leading up to Meteorfall, and then the aftermath. The life they tried to build, the world tried to rebuild, all the ways he derailed their lives for the worse.
His delivery service, though, that's a positive. He can tell her about that.]
Oh, uh - after everything with Sephiroth was over, Tifa reopened Seventh Heaven in a new location and I started Strife Delivery Service based out of it.
[He could tell her more, but...the more he says, the closer he skirts to the stuff he doesn't want to talk about right now. So he leaves it at that for now.]
Bug him. Definitely.
Delivery man works too.
[She smiles at him. Him, a delivery boy? It sounded like he was running around delivering newspapers. But really...it is mostly what they were doing when they were trying to find Sephiroth and save the world to make gil. And to help others.
Some of it by her prompting, but still. But her smile warms.]
I'm glad she reopened it. And that your own business too.
[Gently, she bumps her shoulder against his.]
Want to steal his coffee right now? It'd go well with the cake.
[She smiles at him. Him, a delivery boy? It sounded like he was running around delivering newspapers. But really...it is mostly what they were doing when they were trying to find Sephiroth and save the world to make gil. And to help others.
Some of it by her prompting, but still. But her smile warms.]
I'm glad she reopened it. And that your own business too.
[Gently, she bumps her shoulder against his.]
Want to steal his coffee right now? It'd go well with the cake.
[NOT 10 SECONDS LATER.]
As far as I know, you're the first person he's ever showed interest in. Ever. ... Before I stick my foot in it, I'd like to ask, is this mutual, or something I should not be trying to encourage?
[There's a thread of uncertainty there. are you safe cloud. do you need an adult.]
As far as I know, you're the first person he's ever showed interest in. Ever. ... Before I stick my foot in it, I'd like to ask, is this mutual, or something I should not be trying to encourage?
[There's a thread of uncertainty there. are you safe cloud. do you need an adult.]
...ever?
[Cloud's quiet a moment, not entirely sure how to feel about that. There's a part of him that wants to say it's only because Sephiroth spent so much time messing with his head that he's just Sephiroth's favorite toy to play with, but he knows that's not fair. Or at least, it's not entirely fair.
Then Angeal's asking him the question he really didn't want anyone to ask him, which Angeal can probably tell by the way he looks vaguely like he suddenly doesn't want to be here and he averts his gaze.]
It's...fine. Don't worry about it.
[Cloud's quiet a moment, not entirely sure how to feel about that. There's a part of him that wants to say it's only because Sephiroth spent so much time messing with his head that he's just Sephiroth's favorite toy to play with, but he knows that's not fair. Or at least, it's not entirely fair.
Then Angeal's asking him the question he really didn't want anyone to ask him, which Angeal can probably tell by the way he looks vaguely like he suddenly doesn't want to be here and he averts his gaze.]
It's...fine. Don't worry about it.
Ever.
[So what was it about the Littlest SOLDIER? Was it truly as simple as Cloud was the first one to hand Sephiroth his teeth, gift-wrapped in Fuck You paper with a nice Die Now bow? It can't be, that'd be ridiculous.
And yet for someone who'd never been defeated on his own terms..
Angeal raises a hand though; this isn't alright but he also wouldn't exert too much pressure. It's not his relationship to figure out.]
He's my friend, even if he doesn't remember me. You're the protégé of my protégé, and maybe you could be a friend too; I am going to worry about it. I kind of have to. ...But I'm not here to try to push you into something you're not interested in. Sounds to me you've gotten a rough enough deal as it is.
[So what was it about the Littlest SOLDIER? Was it truly as simple as Cloud was the first one to hand Sephiroth his teeth, gift-wrapped in Fuck You paper with a nice Die Now bow? It can't be, that'd be ridiculous.
And yet for someone who'd never been defeated on his own terms..
Angeal raises a hand though; this isn't alright but he also wouldn't exert too much pressure. It's not his relationship to figure out.]
He's my friend, even if he doesn't remember me. You're the protégé of my protégé, and maybe you could be a friend too; I am going to worry about it. I kind of have to. ...But I'm not here to try to push you into something you're not interested in. Sounds to me you've gotten a rough enough deal as it is.
[Angeal certainly seems to live up to his reputation for honor, Cloud'll give him that. He's not surprised to find that the man Zack looks up to so much is a kind one.
He just wishes he didn't have to find this out by discussing embarrassing personal shit.]
...how'd you hear about this, anyway? He say something?
[That sure is not an answer to the question.]
He just wishes he didn't have to find this out by discussing embarrassing personal shit.]
...how'd you hear about this, anyway? He say something?
[That sure is not an answer to the question.]
[That sure is an evasion, and Angeal ... doesn't protest. This was not likely the sort of chat someone wanted from a near complete stranger. He can't help but be invested though, partly because he worries about his friend and partly ... well, now he worried about Cloud too.
There's a reason he doesn't look the twenty five he really is. Too much worrying.]
He spoke highly of you, in terms I don't really associate with casual interest.
[For Sephiroth, it was nearly an expression of undying devotion. And as much as he wants Sephiroth to have some precious relationship like that.. ... Saying the man could be overwhelming was a vast understatement.]
I know I'm a stranger to you, but I'd like to help. In either direction. If he's something you'd like, I might know a trick or two to really get his attention. If you don't ... then as his friend it's my duty to make sure he doesn't make a complete ass of himself while relearning what 'no' means.
There's a reason he doesn't look the twenty five he really is. Too much worrying.]
He spoke highly of you, in terms I don't really associate with casual interest.
[For Sephiroth, it was nearly an expression of undying devotion. And as much as he wants Sephiroth to have some precious relationship like that.. ... Saying the man could be overwhelming was a vast understatement.]
I know I'm a stranger to you, but I'd like to help. In either direction. If he's something you'd like, I might know a trick or two to really get his attention. If you don't ... then as his friend it's my duty to make sure he doesn't make a complete ass of himself while relearning what 'no' means.
[Cloud can't help wondering what exactly those terms were - did Angeal get the 'I want us to be together for eternity' speech? - but he's not going to ask.
His tone is wry when he responds:]
Think I have plenty of his attention already.
[A pause, as he comes to terms with the fact that he sort of implied leaning in the first direction. Well...he doesn't want Angeal to think Sephiroth is trying to force anything. He's very specifically not doing that, which Cloud really appreciates; in fact, he keep trying to chase Cloud off. It's Cloud who keeps insisting otherwise. So...he's gotta say something to Angeal along those lines.
But he's not ready to examine his feelings on Sephiroth right this minute. Because if he does, and he realizes those feelings are closer to what Sephiroth's expressed to him than not, he'll have to figure out how to justify that when Sephiroth has ruined and taken so many lives. How could he live with himself if he felt something like that for the guy who murdered Aerith? Second chances are one thing, but wouldn't his friends be horrified if it was more than that? How would he explain it to Aerith? To Vincent? To Zack, who was there when Sephiroth murdered everyone in Nibelheim?
...on the other hand, Angeal is none of those people. If Cloud's going to give an answer to anyone, pretty much the only safe options are Yunlan and Angeal.]
You're not a stranger. You're my mentor's mentor, remember?
[And the guy who first wielded the Buster Sword. The guy Zack spoke so highly of all the time.]
I...hm. Dunno exactly how I feel about it. But...not saying 'no.' Not like he's been pushy or anything, anyway. That's what I mean by, don't worry about it. Trust me, I know what it's like when Sephiroth's really intent on getting his way. This ain't it.
His tone is wry when he responds:]
Think I have plenty of his attention already.
[A pause, as he comes to terms with the fact that he sort of implied leaning in the first direction. Well...he doesn't want Angeal to think Sephiroth is trying to force anything. He's very specifically not doing that, which Cloud really appreciates; in fact, he keep trying to chase Cloud off. It's Cloud who keeps insisting otherwise. So...he's gotta say something to Angeal along those lines.
But he's not ready to examine his feelings on Sephiroth right this minute. Because if he does, and he realizes those feelings are closer to what Sephiroth's expressed to him than not, he'll have to figure out how to justify that when Sephiroth has ruined and taken so many lives. How could he live with himself if he felt something like that for the guy who murdered Aerith? Second chances are one thing, but wouldn't his friends be horrified if it was more than that? How would he explain it to Aerith? To Vincent? To Zack, who was there when Sephiroth murdered everyone in Nibelheim?
...on the other hand, Angeal is none of those people. If Cloud's going to give an answer to anyone, pretty much the only safe options are Yunlan and Angeal.]
You're not a stranger. You're my mentor's mentor, remember?
[And the guy who first wielded the Buster Sword. The guy Zack spoke so highly of all the time.]
I...hm. Dunno exactly how I feel about it. But...not saying 'no.' Not like he's been pushy or anything, anyway. That's what I mean by, don't worry about it. Trust me, I know what it's like when Sephiroth's really intent on getting his way. This ain't it.
I'm ... inclined to agree.
[He's seen Sephiroth being pushy too, though about very different things.
But it's not 'no'. It isn't 'I want him to stay away', and it also isn't 'yes I'm totally here for this', and Angeal remains quiet for a minute, puzzling things out. He'd been told what happens, more or less, in very broad terms. He knows Sephiroth's here for a reason. And maybe he never would have been if his only two friends hadn't abandoned him.
It isn't the deaths of family and friends and town that come to mind first when Angeal thinks of Sephiroth.]
But I also don't want you to think it's an obligation, given ... this ship, and our goals of improvement.
[Of redemption. Love could be a very powerful tool for that kind of thing, but Cloud's here to change his own life, that was as important as Sephiroth's.]
[He's seen Sephiroth being pushy too, though about very different things.
But it's not 'no'. It isn't 'I want him to stay away', and it also isn't 'yes I'm totally here for this', and Angeal remains quiet for a minute, puzzling things out. He'd been told what happens, more or less, in very broad terms. He knows Sephiroth's here for a reason. And maybe he never would have been if his only two friends hadn't abandoned him.
It isn't the deaths of family and friends and town that come to mind first when Angeal thinks of Sephiroth.]
But I also don't want you to think it's an obligation, given ... this ship, and our goals of improvement.
[Of redemption. Love could be a very powerful tool for that kind of thing, but Cloud's here to change his own life, that was as important as Sephiroth's.]
[Cloud blinks. Obligation?...oh. That's not too far off from what Yunlan was telling him a while back, is it? Except Yunlan was talking about keeping people safe from Sephiroth, not...this. He shakes his head.]
I don't. If I didn't want to spend time with him, I wouldn't, period. It's just...complicated.
[He pauses for a moment, thinking.]
He was already a different person from the guy who tried to kill everyone on the planet by the time I got here. Just...took me a little while to see it. Been trying to get to know him as he is now, that's all.
[And maybe making out with him a little, but there's no reason Angeal needs to know that.]
I don't. If I didn't want to spend time with him, I wouldn't, period. It's just...complicated.
[He pauses for a moment, thinking.]
He was already a different person from the guy who tried to kill everyone on the planet by the time I got here. Just...took me a little while to see it. Been trying to get to know him as he is now, that's all.
[And maybe making out with him a little, but there's no reason Angeal needs to know that.]
[ Some conversations are best had in person so after things have died down a little...Zack goes to find Cloud.
He doesn't call or text in advance - he just goes to find him. ]
He doesn't call or text in advance - he just goes to find him. ]
[Cloud's not too hard to find anymore, back to his usual routines. So he's just in his cabin, feeding the cat-thing, when Zack comes looking. When the knock comes, he pauses to go open the door. And when he sees it's Zack, his brows lift in mild surprise.]
Zack. What's up?
Zack. What's up?
Hello, this is Ulla. Your assigned warden for the month. I'd like to meet with you, either in my cabin or wherever you're more comfortable.
[Right...new month, new warden. Just when Cloud was beginning to get used to Allen. He doesn't love the idea of having to talk about himself all over again, but who knows - maybe Ulla will end up with a completely different approach.]
Sure. Your cabin works. Just let me know when and where.
Sure. Your cabin works. Just let me know when and where.
Thank you. It's the door with mosaics on Level Five. I'll be home all afternoon.
It takes a moment for her to open the door, because Ulla moves slowly on land in her usual form, slithering to the door on a long black eel's tail.
And her cabin is also designed for someone aquatic. There's a narrow strip of gray sand just inside the doorway, with a floating fishbowl/bathtub sort of device and a modified wheelchair taking up a considerable amount of it. The rest is water, except for a ramp leading up to a balcony.
The door and the ramp are all covered in mosaics in pearl and shell and precious stone. Ulla needed a hobby. The door has geometric patterns on the outside, while the inside features a wolf, butterflies, a barnacle goose, and a pool with a pair of chimera fish. The ramp is ocean themed, from deep and dark at the base up to filtered sunlight at the top. The balcony is definitely designed for human shaped people, filled with a lamp and a pair of comfy armchairs and Ulla's wooden harp carved with Celtic knotwork.
She'll offer Cloud a smile. "Please come in. There are chairs up the ramp so we can sit."
The door opens and Cloud's brows slowly lift. Approximately none of what's inside her cabin is anything he expected to see. "Oh. Uh...sure."
He steps inside onto the sand and then starts up the ramp, turning to look over the whole place as he ascends. He doesn't sit yet when he reaches the top, just stands there and looks around.
Once Ulla gets up there, too, he nods as if to say yeah, I vibe with this.
"Cool."
He steps inside onto the sand and then starts up the ramp, turning to look over the whole place as he ascends. He doesn't sit yet when he reaches the top, just stands there and looks around.
Once Ulla gets up there, too, he nods as if to say yeah, I vibe with this.
"Cool."
"The balcony is a fairly new addition," she tells him. "More people visit my cabin now than they used to. I didn't bother making it more hospitable to land-dwellers while I was an inmate."
She'll settle into one of the comfy chairs, tail draped over the arm, and a couple tentacles stretch over the balcony railing, where an octopus had been hanging mostly out of didn't. Ulla pulls him into her lap. "This is my partner, Hjerte."
And he adds in a warm baritone, "Pleased to meet you. I'm like part of Ulla, given body and voice. She wouldn't have invited an entirely separate person to your meeting."
Ulla nods. "For two and a half years. I graduated almost two years ago, and I've had an inmate of mine graduate already. So aside from asking you what you need, I'm willing to answer any questions you ask. About the Barge in general, or my personal experiences."
As for the rest of it, what brought him here... "I don't presume I'll earn your trust immediately, but if there's anything you're willing to share, I'll listen."
That Ulla, too, was an inmate makes Cloud feel just a little more comfortable talking to her. Not that Allen didn't have relatable experiences, too, but it's different somehow.
"Hm. Two and a half years." How long it took her to graduate. "Seems like a pretty short time to me, but dunno how it stacks up to the average around here." He's sure the actual answer is that it's different for everyone and comparing inmates is like comparing apples to oranges, but...still, he wants to know.
Anything he's willing to share, huh? Maybe, but first-- "You're only my second warden, and the first one didn't really know what a temporary warden was supposed to do. So...what's your take?"
"Hm. Two and a half years." How long it took her to graduate. "Seems like a pretty short time to me, but dunno how it stacks up to the average around here." He's sure the actual answer is that it's different for everyone and comparing inmates is like comparing apples to oranges, but...still, he wants to know.
Anything he's willing to share, huh? Maybe, but first-- "You're only my second warden, and the first one didn't really know what a temporary warden was supposed to do. So...what's your take?"
"Mostly temporary wardens are here to make sure you have what you need, that you're alright, and that you don't go killing other passengers. Only one of mine kept an eye out for me after our pairing ended. I try to do better, but people are exhausting sometimes and I don't always keep up as well as I should."
She's a little cynical. Except... "I think their real purpose is less what we do for you in the month we're paired, and more testing the waters for permanent pairings. The Admiral didn't even wait out the full month I was Warren's temporary inmate before he paired us permanently. And James was assigned as my inmate right as our temporary pairing was due to end. Some people get paired a month or two later. It's a matter of connection and common ground, usually."
Cloud shrugs slightly. "Can't blame you. People are exhausting sometimes. Don't worry, not planning any killing." That last part is meant to be a bit of dry humor, but he says it so deadpan that she could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.
He nods along with her explanation. "Makes sense to me."
As for sharing... "Not sure what to share. Uh...got a few other people from my world here, if you know any of 'em. Zack, Sephiroth, Aerith, Vincent. And Angeal."
He nods along with her explanation. "Makes sense to me."
As for sharing... "Not sure what to share. Uh...got a few other people from my world here, if you know any of 'em. Zack, Sephiroth, Aerith, Vincent. And Angeal."
Ulla is always more prone to frankness than tact, so she'll tell him, "I don't know Zack well, but he's close with my warden, Warren, whose judgement I trust more than anybody else's. I work with Vincent in the infirmary, and I offered to help Aerith get plants from home. Sephiroth was annoying enough that I decided back when I was an inmate to ignore him as much as possible. It's boring listening to rants about how superior someone is. ...Though I suppose I haven't noticed as many of those lately. I'm not sure if he changed his mind or just got bored too."
Cloud vastly prefers frankness over tact, so he appreciates it. He perks up a little when she mentions helping Aerith get plants from home. "You mean the lilies, right? The yellow ones? But...she's a warden, too, why doesn't she just request them herself?" Is this a bit of mild revenge for Aerith playing coy about literally everything? Maybe. But he's also just curious.
Then she talks about Sephiroth and Cloud can't help a quiet sound of wry amusement. "Changed his mind a little. Mostly focused on other stuff now." And by 'other stuff' Cloud means himself, but anyway.
"Oh, I work in the engine room. Though sometimes, calling it 'work' is a real exaggeration." He rolls his eyes. "But Nico figures out stuff for us to do. Ain't bad."
Then she talks about Sephiroth and Cloud can't help a quiet sound of wry amusement. "Changed his mind a little. Mostly focused on other stuff now." And by 'other stuff' Cloud means himself, but anyway.
"Oh, I work in the engine room. Though sometimes, calling it 'work' is a real exaggeration." He rolls his eyes. "But Nico figures out stuff for us to do. Ain't bad."
"Why ask the Admiral for things we could handle ourselves? It isn't necessary. My magic is mostly just limited by understanding and creativity. And the Enclosure lets me see plants from any world I want, including yours, which helps with the understanding part."
Ulla smiles wryly. "I'll request things for my inmates, but I hardly ever need to make requests on my own behalf. Twice so far; adding the ramp and balcony, in case he didn't want me changing the structure of the cabin myself, and modifying the transportation device by the door to fix a... vulnerability that got me killed last year. I have no idea how that thing works. I couldn't change it myself."
Cloud tilts his head slightly. "What kind of magic?"
He glances down the ramp to the entrance where the wheelchair and the fishbowl thing both sit. He's not sure which one she means...probably the fishbowl, if she has no idea how it works, he decides.
"How'd it get you killed?"
Cloud's not asking her questions to avoid answering any himself on purpose...not consciously, at least. She's interesting, her cabin is interesting, he's curious. It's been a while since he had the experience of running across something new and learning about it. Back home, they've been so focused on rebuilding and figuring out what the future looks like that there hasn't been time for that kind of thing.
He glances down the ramp to the entrance where the wheelchair and the fishbowl thing both sit. He's not sure which one she means...probably the fishbowl, if she has no idea how it works, he decides.
"How'd it get you killed?"
Cloud's not asking her questions to avoid answering any himself on purpose...not consciously, at least. She's interesting, her cabin is interesting, he's curious. It's been a while since he had the experience of running across something new and learning about it. Back home, they've been so focused on rebuilding and figuring out what the future looks like that there hasn't been time for that kind of thing.
"Sildroher have innate magic, and it works through song. I'm a very good composer with a lot of raw power, plus Hjerte amplifies it, which means my skill is rarely the problem. It's that to do anything, I need to understand it well enough to describe it musically. Like a language, but in notes, not words. The more complex the spell, the more complex the song it requires."
So Ulla does a lot of studying any time someone asks her for something new.
She grimaces at the latter question, though. "The one with the water. Energy weapon, heated it and boiled me alive. It's impervious to that sort of temperature change now."
On Gaia, innate magic is something only the Cetra could boast, as far as Cloud knows. "Sounds...amazing," he says, quietly but with sincerity. When Aerith died, it felt like all the magic had gone out of everything. The Forgotten Capital, the earth, the air, the whole planet. She didn't sing to wield her power, but the feeling the idea imparts to Cloud seems similar, at least. Prayer is a little like song, he thinks, and the voice of the planet is a real, audible thing. Water, too, holds power there.
Hearing what happened with the device, he winces. What a horrible, gruesome way to die. "Shit...at least you were able to stop it from happening again."
Hearing what happened with the device, he winces. What a horrible, gruesome way to die. "Shit...at least you were able to stop it from happening again."
Ulla hums acknowledgement, and then she'll ask, "Do you have ideas of why you're here, or what you'll need to work on? I'm willing to answer anything you like about my own experience, in case it helps you at all."
On that note, "You don't ever have to worry about... politeness, or prying, with me. If I'm actually here to help, and if I win magical deals beyond even the scope of my power for it, it's only fair to offer something in return. I protect other people's privacy; I'll protect yours. But I'm not looking to protect my own."
Cloud nods to her note about privacy, but he drops his gaze with a troubled look. "...yeah. I know why I'm here. Came here willingly. Not sure how exactly to work on anything, but...nothing to do but try."
Questions about her experience, huh? He takes a moment to think. "Did you have a general strategy in mind, or did you just...take it day by day?"
Questions about her experience, huh? He takes a moment to think. "Did you have a general strategy in mind, or did you just...take it day by day?"
"When I came, I didn't want anything but revenge. Being stuck here just felt like... an obstacle that I couldn't see a way past. I spent six months refusing to talk about things that mattered, another year and a half refusing to fully trust anyone, and six months past that struggling to figure out anything to want from my life beyond vengeance."
So really, he's already doing better than her just by wanting to do the work.
Don't you want revenge for all that you've lost? You still hear it when you close your eyes, don't you?
"Sounds...rough." His tone is thoughtful, brow furrowed. "Mind if I ask, vengeance for what? And...how'd you end up finding other things to want? I got a...I know someone, who's kinda in the same boat."
"Sounds...rough." His tone is thoughtful, brow furrowed. "Mind if I ask, vengeance for what? And...how'd you end up finding other things to want? I got a...I know someone, who's kinda in the same boat."
"I was betrayed and left for dead by the only two friends I'd ever had. I survived, but I lost my home and my people and the body I was born with. Meanwhile, the two of them took credit for my work and used it to claim the throne." And Signy's betrayal cut much deeper than Roffe's. The person Ulla loved most in the world.
"My warden always believed I didn't need to give it up entirely to graduate. He was the first person I willingly trusted after that. And then I graduated the moment he asked me to go with him after the Barge, and I said yes."
[And without a word, she sent him the photo.
Cloud, asleep in a coffin.]
Cloud, asleep in a coffin.]
Only if he looked over my shoulder...?
[So maybe.]
[So maybe.]
Okay...does that mean you're going to send it to Sephiroth?
[Just asking.]
[Just asking.]
To make sure everyone has it?
But I can do it if you're feeling shy~
But I can do it if you're feeling shy~
[She was laughing but she sent it.
To Cloud, not Sephiroth.]
To Cloud, not Sephiroth.]
[That has her laugh a little. Oh Cloud.]
So Cloud- I was hoping you'd join me in helping Vincent.
He hasn't been sleeping well since stuff happened and...I thought we could sit with him sometimes.
Make sure he has someone with him when he's having nightmares.
So Cloud- I was hoping you'd join me in helping Vincent.
He hasn't been sleeping well since stuff happened and...I thought we could sit with him sometimes.
Make sure he has someone with him when he's having nightmares.
[She knew he'd be on board.]
Right. Maybe we can tell him in a day or two?
I think he needs time to brace himself for people in his space again.
[Even if they wouldn't be looming over his coffin...]
Right. Maybe we can tell him in a day or two?
I think he needs time to brace himself for people in his space again.
[Even if they wouldn't be looming over his coffin...]
Thanks Cloud.
[She considers. Hums under her breath.]
If you want- maybe I can bring some cards or a board game? It'll keep us up.
Or you can pick something. They have that in the library.
[She considers. Hums under her breath.]
If you want- maybe I can bring some cards or a board game? It'll keep us up.
Or you can pick something. They have that in the library.
Mmm...okay.
I'll pick, but we'll only play something if you're in the mood.
[She'll bring a few then. Maybe get Vincent to play a game or two before getting him to bed.]
I'll pick, but we'll only play something if you're in the mood.
[She'll bring a few then. Maybe get Vincent to play a game or two before getting him to bed.]
Uh huh.
[She wouldn't try to. It's just meant to be a time waster.]
[She wouldn't try to. It's just meant to be a time waster.]
[After pairings, Corvo debates on not saying anything at all. But - he isn't going to be that sort of warden.
He doesn't want to be any sort of warden, but there's really no getting around that.]
You're Cloud.
[Good, solid start. Corvo clears his throat.]
I'm Corvo. Attano. Admiral wants me to see to you this month, but you're my first assignment since graduating so I'm not really sure how to go about this.
He doesn't want to be any sort of warden, but there's really no getting around that.]
You're Cloud.
[Good, solid start. Corvo clears his throat.]
I'm Corvo. Attano. Admiral wants me to see to you this month, but you're my first assignment since graduating so I'm not really sure how to go about this.
Yup.
[He sure is Cloud.
It makes more sense a moment later when the guy introduces himself - Cloud's seen the name on the pairings list. Another month, another warden, once again. He was really starting to appreciate having Ulla in his corner, too.
At least Corvo's being upfront about this. That's a point in his favor. And between Allen and Corvo, and the bullshit Zack and Richter had to deal with, Cloud's starting to feel like maybe the inmates aren't the only ones who need help.]
Well...can't say I know enough about a warden's job to answer that. You're only my third. Kinda sucks that the Admiral doesn't bother explaining this shit. Could tell you what the last one said about it, though.
[He sure is Cloud.
It makes more sense a moment later when the guy introduces himself - Cloud's seen the name on the pairings list. Another month, another warden, once again. He was really starting to appreciate having Ulla in his corner, too.
At least Corvo's being upfront about this. That's a point in his favor. And between Allen and Corvo, and the bullshit Zack and Richter had to deal with, Cloud's starting to feel like maybe the inmates aren't the only ones who need help.]
Well...can't say I know enough about a warden's job to answer that. You're only my third. Kinda sucks that the Admiral doesn't bother explaining this shit. Could tell you what the last one said about it, though.
Kind of depends on who the last one was whether or not it's good advice.
It's less what she did for me. More...her approach. How she thought about why we're here. She gave a shit, but didn't expect anything specific out of it. There when I needed her without...hovering.
[A pause, as Cloud thinks back to her answer to his question about temporary wardens.]
She said a temporary warden is mostly to watch out for us and make sure we're not killing each other. And they're good for testing the waters for permanent pairings.
[A pause, as Cloud thinks back to her answer to his question about temporary wardens.]
She said a temporary warden is mostly to watch out for us and make sure we're not killing each other. And they're good for testing the waters for permanent pairings.
We don't get to choose permanent pairings. But I can see the Admiral putting together people as a trial.
[He pauses a moment.]
Do you drink? This is easier over a drink.
[He pauses a moment.]
Do you drink? This is easier over a drink.
Speakeasy's for inmates. Can't get in there.
That's how I found out I graduated.
That's how I found out I graduated.
Seriously? Some leader this Admiral is...meet you outside the Lounge, then.
[Cloud turns his steps in that direction, arriving in not too long. If he gets there first, Corvo will find him waiting with arms folded, leaning against the nearby wall. If not, he'll just look for someone who looks like he's waiting.]
[Cloud turns his steps in that direction, arriving in not too long. If he gets there first, Corvo will find him waiting with arms folded, leaning against the nearby wall. If not, he'll just look for someone who looks like he's waiting.]
Corvo knows of Cloud. He's been on the ship long enough for that. So when he walks up, a gray rat on his shoulder, he nods in the direction of Cloud and swipes his mask across the door to let them both inside.
"Sit wherever you'd like."
"Sit wherever you'd like."
Cloud's still working on figuring out who's who on the Barge - he's not the most social guy, and having friends from home here has made it less important in his mind to make an effort to meet people or scroll the network much. Something else Tifa always told him he should work on.
Well, it'll have to get in line.
He gives Corvo's warden item a curious glance, but doesn't ask. He just nods and finds a seat that's near the windows and as far from other people as possible.
Well, it'll have to get in line.
He gives Corvo's warden item a curious glance, but doesn't ask. He just nods and finds a seat that's near the windows and as far from other people as possible.
Corvo brings over a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, setting them both down on the table and filling them halfway.
"Good spot," he remarks lightly.
"Good spot," he remarks lightly.
So Corvo's the kind of guy who starts at the whiskey stage of things. Good to know. Cloud has no complaints, so he slides his glass closer to him and takes a sniff. Not bad, he thinks. He's no Tifa, but living at Seventh Heaven has given him some basic understanding of what makes for good booze, even if in life it would have taken a ridiculous amount of it to affect him at all.
Not so much now, though. For better or worse.
"Not the social type, either, I take it?"
Not so much now, though. For better or worse.
"Not the social type, either, I take it?"
It's a whiskey sort of day. He's in this to take the edge off, not to ease himself into the waters. But he does nod at the question.
"Never really knew how to be. Wasn't really my job."
"Never really knew how to be. Wasn't really my job."
That gets a laugh, at least, and he sips at his drink.
"I was the - the Empress' bodyguard," he finally explains. "Then I was an assassin. Now I am the Spymaster."
"I was the - the Empress' bodyguard," he finally explains. "Then I was an assassin. Now I am the Spymaster."
Cloud gives his own drink a sip. Huh - so Corvo's pretty much a Turk.
"Been a bodyguard myself. Aerith's, if you know her, and a few other shorter gigs. I was military, then a merc for a while, and now I run a delivery service."
"Been a bodyguard myself. Aerith's, if you know her, and a few other shorter gigs. I was military, then a merc for a while, and now I run a delivery service."
Edited 2024-09-20 19:58 (UTC)
"Aerith?"
He laughs a little, resting his fingertips against his glass. "She's part of the reason I graduated. Kicked my ass enough. Didn't know you two were from the same place."
He laughs a little, resting his fingertips against his glass. "She's part of the reason I graduated. Kicked my ass enough. Didn't know you two were from the same place."
Cloud's brows lift and then his expression softens, eyes lowering with a slight smile. "Yeah. Known her a while now, been through a lot together. She's...something else. Special. Glad she was able to help you - she's kicked my ass plenty, too, so I know how you feel." That last part is wry, but the warmth lingers underneath.
Special. That is one way to describe her. The perfect way, actually. He still remembers her in that place, that nightmare, fighting off Weepers and rats with him and there's a surge of affection that he drowns with a drink.
"I say let her do it. Did me a lot of good. You surprised to see her here?"
"I say let her do it. Did me a lot of good. You surprised to see her here?"
Cloud arches a brow. "Oh, I don't 'let' her do anything. She does what she wants and there's no stopping her." That fond smile hasn't gone anywhere, though.
The question gives him a moment's pause, which he fills by sipping his drink again and then looking down at it, smile now vanished. "Yeah. By the time I come from, she...she'd been dead for two years and change." His tone suggests that despite time's passage, he wasn't over it yet. Maybe isn't even now that she's here. "But for her, it was only a few minutes. Jarring as hell for both of us."
The question gives him a moment's pause, which he fills by sipping his drink again and then looking down at it, smile now vanished. "Yeah. By the time I come from, she...she'd been dead for two years and change." His tone suggests that despite time's passage, he wasn't over it yet. Maybe isn't even now that she's here. "But for her, it was only a few minutes. Jarring as hell for both of us."
Dead.
He stares down at his glass, all cheer gone for the moment. "I didn't know that," he admits. "What - happened?"
He stares down at his glass, all cheer gone for the moment. "I didn't know that," he admits. "What - happened?"
"...doesn't surprise me she didn't say anything. Always focused on the positive, for everyone's sake." Cloud doesn't look up, either, as a heavy weight seems to settle on his shoulders.
"It's her story to tell, if she wants to. But I'll say this: she risked everything for the planet's sake, and even after..." I let her die. "...she was gone, she still protected it, from the Lifestream. It and all of us. She's the strongest person I've ever known."
"It's her story to tell, if she wants to. But I'll say this: she risked everything for the planet's sake, and even after..." I let her die. "...she was gone, she still protected it, from the Lifestream. It and all of us. She's the strongest person I've ever known."
"Yeah," he says when he has nothing else to say. And he downs his drink, hating the thought of her being gone.
"Does she know what happens?" he wonders, as he hasn't actually asked her from when she is.
"Does she know what happens?" he wonders, as he hasn't actually asked her from when she is.
"...yeah. Happened right before she came here, from her perspective." Cloud doesn't see Corvo finish his whiskey in one go, but he does it himself a moment later. Yeah, he can get drunk now, and he doesn't give a shit. Though it'd still take a lot more than one glass of whiskey.
He knows now exactly how much it will take. Or...would. If he were going to do that again, which he isn't.
"Haven't told her much of what came after, though. Not yet." Because he's too ashamed to tell her just how royally he continued to fuck up.
He knows now exactly how much it will take. Or...would. If he were going to do that again, which he isn't.
"Haven't told her much of what came after, though. Not yet." Because he's too ashamed to tell her just how royally he continued to fuck up.
Corvo knows what that's like. He knows it all too well. He refills his glass halfway and hovers over Cloud's in a silent question.
"Why not?" he wonders, because he has a suspicion that he needs clarified.
"Why not?" he wonders, because he has a suspicion that he needs clarified.
Cloud nods at the hovering bottle and frowns in thought. There are a few reasons, really. Shame is one of them, but also--
"Because it sucks." He takes a sip of his newly refilled drink. "Things only got worse from there. She'll feel responsible for it."
"Because it sucks." He takes a sip of his newly refilled drink. "Things only got worse from there. She'll feel responsible for it."
"Yeah," he agrees, refilling the glass and setting the bottle aside. "Even though it ain't her fault. What happens?"
What happens? Corvo asks, and Cloud has to think about it because he's never actually had to tell this story to anyone before. Anyone he'd bother to talk to about it was part of it, or they already knew, like Zack and Yunlan. But really, there are only a few parts important enough to be worth telling to someone he just met.
"A lot. We failed to stop a meteor from crashing into the planet. And we failed to stop a giant Weapon from destroying the world's biggest city. Only reason the planet's still there is because Aerith helped us from the Lifestream long enough for me to take down the guy responsible. And then..."
Cloud takes another generous sip. "Turns out the Lifestream itself got corrupted, and it infected a lot of people with an incurable sickness. Geostigma. It's how I died."
It's a hell of a reductive and cynical take on what happened, and he knows he's leaving out things people call him a hero for and probably being unfair to all his friends who helped him, but he doesn't feel like a hero. Taking Sephiroth down was just finishing the job he started and cleaning up a mess he made himself, and then it turned out they didn't even finish Jenova in the process. There was a time when he felt good about it, he knows - a time when he felt at peace - but...he can't remember now what that was like.
"A lot. We failed to stop a meteor from crashing into the planet. And we failed to stop a giant Weapon from destroying the world's biggest city. Only reason the planet's still there is because Aerith helped us from the Lifestream long enough for me to take down the guy responsible. And then..."
Cloud takes another generous sip. "Turns out the Lifestream itself got corrupted, and it infected a lot of people with an incurable sickness. Geostigma. It's how I died."
It's a hell of a reductive and cynical take on what happened, and he knows he's leaving out things people call him a hero for and probably being unfair to all his friends who helped him, but he doesn't feel like a hero. Taking Sephiroth down was just finishing the job he started and cleaning up a mess he made himself, and then it turned out they didn't even finish Jenova in the process. There was a time when he felt good about it, he knows - a time when he felt at peace - but...he can't remember now what that was like.
That's a lot. That's a fucking lot of information and Corvo has to sit and ponder it for a while, sipping on his drink. He's quiet, almost like he isn't going to say anything, but after a long pause, a long beat, he sits up.
Disease, he knows. He isn't sure what a Lifestream is, but he know what disease does.
"And you don't know what happened after you died?"
Disease, he knows. He isn't sure what a Lifestream is, but he know what disease does.
"And you don't know what happened after you died?"
Cloud lets the silence stand without interrupting it. He doesn't mind silence and he's not the chatty type at the best of times, which this definitely is not.
"A little. Two people here come from my future. They say I defeat the guy who used geostigma to resurrect himself again and it gets cured. Not sure if that's a sign I'll graduate or just...another version of me on another version of my world who didn't die when I did."
"A little. Two people here come from my future. They say I defeat the guy who used geostigma to resurrect himself again and it gets cured. Not sure if that's a sign I'll graduate or just...another version of me on another version of my world who didn't die when I did."
"There seems to be some of that going around. People knowing shit they shouldn't." He rubs the back of his neck, looking past him for a moment. "What do you think about graduation anyway?" Because Corvo sure didn't give a fuck when he first got here.
He nods. "Better man than me," he remarks. "I came in and wanted nothing to do with this. Didn't want to graduate, didn't care about it. Killed nearly eight people my first night. Those signs on the wall? They're because of me."
Which he is exceptionally embarrassed about, but it's the truth.
Which he is exceptionally embarrassed about, but it's the truth.
"Didn't get the Admiral chat beforehand. Thought I was still at home or it was a trick of the god who decided to get involved in my life. I finally got stopped, but - wasn't my finest moment."
He sits back, clearly not finished, but taking a drink anyway. This is the most he's talked in a long time and it doesn't come naturally to him.
"I was killed when I was saving the young Empress. So the last thing I saw was her dangling over a lighthouse."
He sits back, clearly not finished, but taking a drink anyway. This is the most he's talked in a long time and it doesn't come naturally to him.
"I was killed when I was saving the young Empress. So the last thing I saw was her dangling over a lighthouse."
He nods once. "I left and returned," he answers. "She is just fine. When I left, she was in her room, coloring."
And he made sure to see it in real time before he left. Time would stop, the world would stop, and he has only the image of her safe.
And he made sure to see it in real time before he left. Time would stop, the world would stop, and he has only the image of her safe.
"The girl, her mother was Empress. And I was her bodyguard. She was killed. Stabbed in some sort of plot for other people to grab the throne. Right in front of me and I was held back. Then they framed me for the murder."
He laughs and it's a bitter, ugly sound. "You're not a bad bodyguard. Shit happens."
He laughs and it's a bitter, ugly sound. "You're not a bad bodyguard. Shit happens."
Cloud's eyes widen and he sits up a little straighter, staring at Corvo for a moment before he lowers his gaze. What an awful situation. What a bullshit outcome. And yet...it isn't so dissimilar from what happened to Cloud, other than the framing afterward. And Cloud wouldn't have blamed him, so...maybe Corvo's right. Maybe shit does just happen, sometimes.
Maybe. Except there's so much more to it than Cloud's spoken aloud. It was Cloud's own unwillingness to open up to his friends that led them there. They didn't know how deeply Sephiroth had dug his claws in, and Cloud was too afraid, too ashamed, to tell them. And it was Aerith who paid for it.
"...Aerith was killed...right in front of me, too." He speaks slowly. Difficult to get the words out, but he wants to. He'll try. "Same guy who dropped a meteor on the planet. He...tried to make me do it, first. Psychic bullshit. Fought it long enough that he decided to take matters into his own hands, but...if he'd waited any longer, I..."
No. He just stops there.
Maybe. Except there's so much more to it than Cloud's spoken aloud. It was Cloud's own unwillingness to open up to his friends that led them there. They didn't know how deeply Sephiroth had dug his claws in, and Cloud was too afraid, too ashamed, to tell them. And it was Aerith who paid for it.
"...Aerith was killed...right in front of me, too." He speaks slowly. Difficult to get the words out, but he wants to. He'll try. "Same guy who dropped a meteor on the planet. He...tried to make me do it, first. Psychic bullshit. Fought it long enough that he decided to take matters into his own hands, but...if he'd waited any longer, I..."
No. He just stops there.
Corvo lets him talk a while, leaning forward on his elbow while he watches him. He doesn't know what sort of bullshit that this is, but already hates it for him. That isn't any way to live a life. That sort of guilt and anger is stifling.
"You what?" he wonders softly, a gentle probe.
"You what?" he wonders softly, a gentle probe.
Corvo gives a slow nod, realizing that these drinks are very rightly earned. He raises his, salutes Cloud, and drinks.
"You get any sleep at all?" he wonders.
"You get any sleep at all?" he wonders.
Cloud drinks with him, draining the rest of the glass all at once just like the first. Enough of this pity party, Strife.
"I get enough," he says as he sets the glass back down and leans back in his seat, which is exactly as much of a deflection as it sounds like. Then, deadpan, "You know what they say. I'll sleep when I'm dead."
"I get enough," he says as he sets the glass back down and leans back in his seat, which is exactly as much of a deflection as it sounds like. Then, deadpan, "You know what they say. I'll sleep when I'm dead."
Corvo spreads out his hands and smiles at that. "Well. Apparently not." After all, they ended up on the barge after their deaths. And there's no rest here.
There sure isn't, for all that Cloud still often feels like he should be doing more. Doing something important. He's always been much better in go mode, under pressure, than when he's idle.
"So...figure anything more out about what you wanna do as a temp warden?"
"So...figure anything more out about what you wanna do as a temp warden?"
"Depends on you," he points out. "I'm not the one running the show here. You are."
He tilts his glass towards him. "What do you want out of this?"
He tilts his glass towards him. "What do you want out of this?"
He winces a little. "Hard to do without the whole fucking story," he points out. "But I can give you that. Shit that happens here. I'm still trying to figure it out myself."
"Mm. Maybe...that's a good way to look at it. You get an inmate to guide, I get a warden to learn from, and we try to figure it all out together."
A less stratified view on the warden-inmate dynamic than many on the Barge have, maybe, but it's the way Cloud would prefer it - and so far, none of his wardens have seemed to oppose it.
A less stratified view on the warden-inmate dynamic than many on the Barge have, maybe, but it's the way Cloud would prefer it - and so far, none of his wardens have seemed to oppose it.
Edited 2024-10-02 04:46 (UTC)
"I think that's the only damn way to do it," he says gently. "That's how Richter was. With me."
And it suited him. He didn't need someone else telling him what to do. He needed someone to walk with him and challenge him.
And it suited him. He didn't need someone else telling him what to do. He needed someone to walk with him and challenge him.
"Not long," he admits with a half shrug. "A matter of months. Less than a year. But I think I'm an exception to the rule. I had a very big - motivation for graduation."
A matter of months. Cloud's already been here a few months and he feels no closer at all.
Motivation - "The Empress' daughter," Cloud fills in, just for confirmation. He frowns, looking into his now-empty glass. "So...time passes at home while we're here, right?" He's always assumed it does, but now the question's in his mind.
Motivation - "The Empress' daughter," Cloud fills in, just for confirmation. He frowns, looking into his now-empty glass. "So...time passes at home while we're here, right?" He's always assumed it does, but now the question's in his mind.
"No. No time at all." He shakes his head. "When I went back, it was to the exact moment when I died. Only I was alive instead. The arrow hit behind me, not in me."
"Really?" Cloud's eyes widen a little, flicking back up to Corvo. No time passes...so he still has a chance to save Tifa, save Denzel, if he manages to get his shit together. He doesn't have to just pray they've survived in his absence.
He lets out a slow breath as the news settles in his mind, shoulders gradually relaxing. "Thanks. Guess I...could've asked somebody sooner." Half-wry, half-embarrassed. He spent all this time worrying over nothing. Not that he doesn't want to get back as soon as he can, for his own peace of mind if nothing else, but..it's not the crushing weight he thought it was.
He lets out a slow breath as the news settles in his mind, shoulders gradually relaxing. "Thanks. Guess I...could've asked somebody sooner." Half-wry, half-embarrassed. He spent all this time worrying over nothing. Not that he doesn't want to get back as soon as he can, for his own peace of mind if nothing else, but..it's not the crushing weight he thought it was.
Corvo shakes his head. "If this is the only thing I tell you, then I've done my damn job. There is nothing on this ship that is worth leaving behind a whole life," he tells him. "And that life is still out there, waiting for you to do whatever you need to do to make it right."
There is nothing on this ship that is worth leaving behind a whole life.
"...there's Aerith," Cloud suggests quietly. He feels awful suggesting that Aerith might be worth stalling a return to everything else, but...she's alive, here. Alive and real and warm, and they're closer now than they ever were back home. He doesn't know if he can handle losing her all over again.
Not to mention Zack...and Sephiroth...but those cans of worms can stay safely shut.
"...there's Aerith," Cloud suggests quietly. He feels awful suggesting that Aerith might be worth stalling a return to everything else, but...she's alive, here. Alive and real and warm, and they're closer now than they ever were back home. He doesn't know if he can handle losing her all over again.
Not to mention Zack...and Sephiroth...but those cans of worms can stay safely shut.
Edited 2024-10-05 05:43 (UTC)
"You think Aerith can't handle herself?" he scoffs. "That she won't get her deal?"
He shakes his head. "You gotta trust her to do what she needs to do. And if she gets a whiff for a single damn second that you're thinking of not graduating because she's here, you know she's going to be angry." He's never actually seen her angry, but he's sure it happens!
He shakes his head. "You gotta trust her to do what she needs to do. And if she gets a whiff for a single damn second that you're thinking of not graduating because she's here, you know she's going to be angry." He's never actually seen her angry, but he's sure it happens!
Cloud gives him a flat look. "Not what I said." He huffs quietly. "But if you think Aerith's deal is about herself, think again. That's not how she rolls." That heavy weight from earlier settles onto his shoulders again. "She puts herself last, every time. Over and over. No, she'll be here until all of us leave first, no matter how many of her inmates graduate."
Unless she randomly disappears, but he's not even going to entertain a thought like that.
He decides to just not address the second part.
Unless she randomly disappears, but he's not even going to entertain a thought like that.
He decides to just not address the second part.
"No, it isn't," he agrees. "But there are more wardens who come here dead than you might think."
He sits back and takes a drink, but it's slow and thoughtful, considering Cloud across the way. "What would your deal be? If you stayed as a warden after you graduate?"
He sits back and takes a drink, but it's slow and thoughtful, considering Cloud across the way. "What would your deal be? If you stayed as a warden after you graduate?"
"Hm." Cloud frowns in thought. It's a question he's mulled over once or twice before, but one he's never really answered for himself.
"Not sure," he says softly, eventually. "There's...so much. But...mm. Think I'd focus on getting rid of Jenova for good. Cure geostigma. Maybe...bring back all the kids." He taps a finger on the table in thought. "Any idea whether the Admiral could change the past?"
"Not sure," he says softly, eventually. "There's...so much. But...mm. Think I'd focus on getting rid of Jenova for good. Cure geostigma. Maybe...bring back all the kids." He taps a finger on the table in thought. "Any idea whether the Admiral could change the past?"
"Yeah. It all looks different depending on who you ask, though."
He clears his throat. "Maybe ask around to the ones who have gotten their deals. They might have a little more insight for you."
He clears his throat. "Maybe ask around to the ones who have gotten their deals. They might have a little more insight for you."
I'm your warden for the month. Do you need anything?
[Right. Another month, another warden, all over again. Cloud had been getting used to this process, but after Corvo left...yeah, he's not feeling it right now.]
Not really.
[There's a part of him that's annoyed with himself for being such a recalcitrant dick, but this guy's not Corvo. Cloud had started thinking maybe he might ask Corvo to be his permanent warden - the only person he's ever had even a hint of that thought about - and then just like that, he was gone. And it still sucks.]
Not really.
[There's a part of him that's annoyed with himself for being such a recalcitrant dick, but this guy's not Corvo. Cloud had started thinking maybe he might ask Corvo to be his permanent warden - the only person he's ever had even a hint of that thought about - and then just like that, he was gone. And it still sucks.]
All right. [Great, he's gotten one of these ones. The inmates who don't give a shit and don't want anything. He was one of those inmates, once, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.] Well, I'm around if you need anything. And if you find yourself at loose ends, I've always got maintenance shit that needs doing.
[Maintenance...Cloud actually seems to perk up just slightly.]
You work in maintenance? ...actually, you know what, I'll take you up on that.
[Maintenance and repair sounds much better than whatever it is they're supposedly doing in the engine room. Cloud used to think it was possible they weren't actually doing anything other than busywork, but having seen the impact of messing with stuff on the Narrenschiff's Orlop Deck, he figures that's unlikely. Still, he would rather work at something he understands.]
You work in maintenance? ...actually, you know what, I'll take you up on that.
[Maintenance and repair sounds much better than whatever it is they're supposedly doing in the engine room. Cloud used to think it was possible they weren't actually doing anything other than busywork, but having seen the impact of messing with stuff on the Narrenschiff's Orlop Deck, he figures that's unlikely. Still, he would rather work at something he understands.]
Great, we need more help now than usual.
[And it's a job that has obvious results!]
[And it's a job that has obvious results!]
Yeah, I bet.
[It's sincere, not sarcastic.]
Don't suppose you got any permanent positions open? I'm pretty handy. Customized my own bike back home, been repairing and rebuilding all kinds of shit ever since the city got mostly flattened by a meteor.
[It's sincere, not sarcastic.]
Don't suppose you got any permanent positions open? I'm pretty handy. Customized my own bike back home, been repairing and rebuilding all kinds of shit ever since the city got mostly flattened by a meteor.
We actually have an inmate position open. I'd be glad to help you transfer over.
[A bike? He likes bikes.]
[A bike? He likes bikes.]
The enemy blew it up. It was the same day as I joined the Imperial Guard. Military. I've been in the Guard ever since. For about a decade.
Shit. That really sucks.
[Despite the casual language, there's clear sympathy - empathy, maybe - on Cloud's face and in his tone.]
Used to be military myself. And my planet was about two minutes from a meteor wiping out all life on it, and we're still rebuilding, so...I kinda get it.
[Despite the casual language, there's clear sympathy - empathy, maybe - on Cloud's face and in his tone.]
Used to be military myself. And my planet was about two minutes from a meteor wiping out all life on it, and we're still rebuilding, so...I kinda get it.
How did you prevent a meteor from destroying your planet? Those are usually fatal, from what I've learned.
Long story. Basically, the planet's own life energy was harnessed to cast a powerful protective spell that destroyed the meteor right before it touched down. But the biggest city in the world was ground zero, and just having that thing inside the atmosphere was destructive enough to crush most of what was left of it after everything else that happened.
[And they would never have needed to rely on Holy at all if Cloud hadn't let Sephiroth break him. But Rawne doesn't need any of those details.]
[And they would never have needed to rely on Holy at all if Cloud hadn't let Sephiroth break him. But Rawne doesn't need any of those details.]
That's.... at least you're alive?
[He's guessing a lot of people in that city aren't.]
[He's guessing a lot of people in that city aren't.]
Was. In the aftermath, the Lifestream got corrupted by what remained and people started dying from a memetic psychic disease. Unpredictable and incurable. ...took me down, too.
[Not like anything else on the planet could by that point. Every actual SOLDIER was already gone.]
[Not like anything else on the planet could by that point. Every actual SOLDIER was already gone.]
Hell of a raw deal.
How is a disease memetic? Psychic, I understand, but memetic?
How is a disease memetic? Psychic, I understand, but memetic?
[Cloud shrugs.]
So's the enemy blowing up your planet.
[He makes a quiet 'hm' sound as he tries to figure out the best way to explain.]
...Jenova. An alien life form, a kind of psychic parasite that infects whole species. Some asshole scientists used its DNA for human experimentation, which ended up exactly as horrific as you think. It can create copies or illusions of itself and its hosts, absorb and implant memories, turn people into mental clones by overriding their will...duplicates and perpetuates itself any way it can until it manipulates whole civilizations into killing each other.
We destroyed it, but...not completely.
So's the enemy blowing up your planet.
[He makes a quiet 'hm' sound as he tries to figure out the best way to explain.]
...Jenova. An alien life form, a kind of psychic parasite that infects whole species. Some asshole scientists used its DNA for human experimentation, which ended up exactly as horrific as you think. It can create copies or illusions of itself and its hosts, absorb and implant memories, turn people into mental clones by overriding their will...duplicates and perpetuates itself any way it can until it manipulates whole civilizations into killing each other.
We destroyed it, but...not completely.
Oh.
Yeah, we got shit like that back home. No one I know, but I've heard of people trying to buff soldiers by injecting them with all sorts of shit.
Yeah, we got shit like that back home. No one I know, but I've heard of people trying to buff soldiers by injecting them with all sorts of shit.
I've found that that's true of many things in life.
Nah, we're good. If you need anything else, let me know.
Big brother, my Warden and I want to meet with you~
She seems nice.
I'll ask her when she's free. Would tomorrow afternoon work for you?
I'll ask her when she's free. Would tomorrow afternoon work for you?
Good day, Cloud.
I have two questions when you are at liberty to discuss them: one professional, one personal.
I have two questions when you are at liberty to discuss them: one professional, one personal.
Thank you.
I am in the process of gathering a warden consensus on placing a fabrication lab in the Maintenance bay - primarily for the recycling of waste products and refurbishing them into other uses. Wood, plastics, and metals chiefly. We could construct a modeling and build screen that could be made easily accessible to the rest of the ship.
As the other inmate in Maintenance, would you have a use for this?
I am in the process of gathering a warden consensus on placing a fabrication lab in the Maintenance bay - primarily for the recycling of waste products and refurbishing them into other uses. Wood, plastics, and metals chiefly. We could construct a modeling and build screen that could be made easily accessible to the rest of the ship.
As the other inmate in Maintenance, would you have a use for this?
Excellent. I will put together an Admiral request and send it through to my warden.
[a rather hesitant pause, and Thrawn nods, once]
Yes.
My warden believes that my graduation lies in making me sociable, likable, and politically astute. He has tasked me to ask others here about whether they find me strange and the reasoning behind it, so that I can course-correct.
Do you find my behavior odd or off-putting?
Yes.
My warden believes that my graduation lies in making me sociable, likable, and politically astute. He has tasked me to ask others here about whether they find me strange and the reasoning behind it, so that I can course-correct.
Do you find my behavior odd or off-putting?
Uh, hold on a second. Your warden thinks you gotta make yourself more likeable to graduate? Like, don't be a dick to people on purpose, sure, but not everybody has to be Mr. Popular. Doesn't sound right to me.
But nah, only time I ever thought you were 'off-putting' was when you went after Zack on the network, and first impressions are usually misleading anyway.
But nah, only time I ever thought you were 'off-putting' was when you went after Zack on the network, and first impressions are usually misleading anyway.
In essence. Perhaps I am not explaining it properly.
And now your opinion has presumably changed.
And now your opinion has presumably changed.
I mean my off-putting nature and how your first impression was not correct.
Oh. Yeah, well, Zack's my best friend and you were a stranger, so I was gonna be put off no matter what. But otherwise, you're a guy like anybody else and now I've talked to you myself, so it's less that my opinion changed and more that I have the context now to form one in the first place.
You seem like a hardworking guy who likes to get stuff done, which is a good thing in my book. Kinda pigheaded, but you speak your mind and say what you mean, which is a hell of a lot more valuable than playing nice just to make other people happy.
Can you define 'pigheaded' in this context, please?
Have you inquired as to the reasons why I may be so stubborn?
Perhaps if you explain where you think I have been stubborn, I can illustrate why.
[Oh no. Oh shit. Cloud is suddenly hyperaware of the ring he's wearing and he freezes with slightly widened eyes for just a moment, like a deer in vivid green headlights. He recovers well enough, though, and keeps it casual.]
Sure, go for it.
Sure, go for it.
Edited 2025-01-08 07:15 (UTC)
[Okay, so...not the question he was fearing, but not entirely dissimilar either, and in some ways scarier because a date, that's something that could actually happen, that people actually do. Not Cloud, but...people.
That wide-eyed look is back, but at least he's not frozen this time.]
Uh...what?
[Very smooth, Strife.]
That wide-eyed look is back, but at least he's not frozen this time.]
Uh...what?
[Very smooth, Strife.]
[Together?
Cloud almost repeats it aloud, but he manages to bite it back. So Sephiroth thinks they're 'together,' whatever that means. Like some official...thing. Cloud didn't sign up for an official thing! Just because Sephiroth's been sleeping in his cabin with him for a while - that was just because of the flood! And the occasional makeouts, well, that's...y'know...that just happens. It's not like they plan it.
He's probably staring at the screen trying to think this through a little too long.]
Uh...
[He clears his throat. Yeah, his mind is totally blank.]
What kind of...date?
[It really does feel weird to say.]
Cloud almost repeats it aloud, but he manages to bite it back. So Sephiroth thinks they're 'together,' whatever that means. Like some official...thing. Cloud didn't sign up for an official thing! Just because Sephiroth's been sleeping in his cabin with him for a while - that was just because of the flood! And the occasional makeouts, well, that's...y'know...that just happens. It's not like they plan it.
He's probably staring at the screen trying to think this through a little too long.]
Uh...
[He clears his throat. Yeah, his mind is totally blank.]
What kind of...date?
[It really does feel weird to say.]
[Aerith. Of course this is her doing.--did Sephiroth just say boyfriend? Is that what Aerith told him they are? Why was he talking to Aerith about Cloud in the first place?? Since when does Sephiroth take advice from her???
There's a sort of stunned look on Cloud's face as he slowly facepalms.]
Hoo boy.
Look, uh...Aerith will call anything a 'date.' And I'd rather do something we both want to do, not just me.
[Even Cloud isn't sure whether he's saying yes to the date or not.]
There's a sort of stunned look on Cloud's face as he slowly facepalms.]
Hoo boy.
Look, uh...Aerith will call anything a 'date.' And I'd rather do something we both want to do, not just me.
[Even Cloud isn't sure whether he's saying yes to the date or not.]
[That makes Cloud's cheeks turn red.]
You should really figure out some stuff you like for yourself, too. But, in the meantime, guess I could...show you my bike. In the Enclosure, I mean.
[Sephiroth did express interest in riding it with him, after all.]
You should really figure out some stuff you like for yourself, too. But, in the meantime, guess I could...show you my bike. In the Enclosure, I mean.
[Sephiroth did express interest in riding it with him, after all.]
Cloud Strife. I’m Archer, your temp for this month.
At your convenience, I’d like to meet. Is there a place or time that works best for you?
At your convenience, I’d like to meet. Is there a place or time that works best for you?
[Cloud has mixed feelings about having another new temp warden. On the one hand, not having a warden for a month kinda sucked. On the other, he's a little sick of having to do this song and dance all over again just for the warden to move on in a few weeks.]
Sure. Lounge? Now's fine.
Sure. Lounge? Now's fine.
I’ll see you at the Lounge shortly, then.
[ With a plan agreed upon, Archer hangs up. And he will be waiting for Cloud at the door to the Lounge. ]
[ With a plan agreed upon, Archer hangs up. And he will be waiting for Cloud at the door to the Lounge. ]
[ Archer is a very direct person. He also isn’t very good at niceties so he doesn’t bother with them.
He nods once, unlocks the door to the Lounge, and gestures for Cloud to go in.
Once they both have a drink (something strong whiskey for him) and somewhere to sit, Archer considers the other for a moment before speaking. ]
In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been on this ship for close to five years. And you are not the first Cloud I’ve spoken to.
Because of that I have one question to start with - how would you say things are with Sephiroth at this moment?
[ In other words, does he need to be concerned or are things level enough to not be fussed with. He’s not going to touch that issue if he doesn’t need to. ]
He nods once, unlocks the door to the Lounge, and gestures for Cloud to go in.
Once they both have a drink (something strong whiskey for him) and somewhere to sit, Archer considers the other for a moment before speaking. ]
In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been on this ship for close to five years. And you are not the first Cloud I’ve spoken to.
Because of that I have one question to start with - how would you say things are with Sephiroth at this moment?
[ In other words, does he need to be concerned or are things level enough to not be fussed with. He’s not going to touch that issue if he doesn’t need to. ]
[Cloud considers that directness a good thing...even if it does mean getting asked about Sephiroth before he's even tasted his drink (something as close to the Cosmo Canyon as he could get).
Still, it's a weird situation to be in. It's unsettlingly like back when Cloud had lost his memories and every time he saw someone new on the Barge he had to navigate the discomfort of them knowing him when he had no idea who they were. So his initial reaction to the question is a brief moment of annoyed startlement, but then he sighs. It's a valid question, and it's not like he's asked for details. (Yet.)]
Fine. Good, even.
Still, it's a weird situation to be in. It's unsettlingly like back when Cloud had lost his memories and every time he saw someone new on the Barge he had to navigate the discomfort of them knowing him when he had no idea who they were. So his initial reaction to the question is a brief moment of annoyed startlement, but then he sighs. It's a valid question, and it's not like he's asked for details. (Yet.)]
Fine. Good, even.
Good.
[ It’s a brisk, business-like answer. They’re only temporarily paired so Archer is fine with leaving it at that. ]
Is there anything you need assistance with presently? Or questions you have for me?
[ It’s a brisk, business-like answer. They’re only temporarily paired so Archer is fine with leaving it at that. ]
Is there anything you need assistance with presently? Or questions you have for me?
Nah, I'm good.
[A pause.]
Actually, yeah - what kind of warden are you?
[All of his previous wardens ended up being friends except Corvo, who left halfway through their month together. This guy doesn't seem like the 'friend' type, and Cloud's fine with that, but he wants to know what to expect.]
[A pause.]
Actually, yeah - what kind of warden are you?
[All of his previous wardens ended up being friends except Corvo, who left halfway through their month together. This guy doesn't seem like the 'friend' type, and Cloud's fine with that, but he wants to know what to expect.]
[ Archer takes a sip of his drink and considers that for a moment. ]
You’re the first one to ask me that, actually.
[ It’s a fair question, though, so Archer weighs his response seriously before he gives it. ]
I would say I generally strive to take an objective approach, as opposed to a more emotional one. I’m not built very well for that, and I don’t pretend that I am.
There is very little that surprises me anymore, and I have seen enough death that we are old acquaintances.
I’m not sure if that’s the sort of answer you’re looking for, but I expect the people I was once paired to could give you better insight than I can.
You’re the first one to ask me that, actually.
[ It’s a fair question, though, so Archer weighs his response seriously before he gives it. ]
I would say I generally strive to take an objective approach, as opposed to a more emotional one. I’m not built very well for that, and I don’t pretend that I am.
There is very little that surprises me anymore, and I have seen enough death that we are old acquaintances.
I’m not sure if that’s the sort of answer you’re looking for, but I expect the people I was once paired to could give you better insight than I can.
[Cloud supposes he's not as surprised as he could be. A lot of inmates don't care about temporary pairings, or wardens at all.
He listens quietly to the answer. An objective approach seems promising - Cloud is nothing if not practical. Sounds like Archer has a lot of life experience, which also seems promising.]
Wasn't looking for anything in particular, just your thoughts on it. Tells me plenty.
He listens quietly to the answer. An objective approach seems promising - Cloud is nothing if not practical. Sounds like Archer has a lot of life experience, which also seems promising.]
Wasn't looking for anything in particular, just your thoughts on it. Tells me plenty.
Fair enough.
[ Archer takes another swig of his drink. ]
I confess I still haven’t learned how to be a temporary Warden very well, but if you need help or want something while we’re paired, you only need to ask.
I can also listen if there’s ever anything you want to talk about.
[ Archer takes another swig of his drink. ]
I confess I still haven’t learned how to be a temporary Warden very well, but if you need help or want something while we’re paired, you only need to ask.
I can also listen if there’s ever anything you want to talk about.
[ Archer raises a hand briefly in response. ]
Don’t misunderstand. It’s not for lack of experience or basic training - though all of us could probably benefit from something at the outset. It’s more that there is a certain amount of mutual trust and understanding that goes - or should go into Warden-Inmate pairings. And that is very difficult to establish in a month, especially when you know it’s very likely that you will have an entirely different person the following month.
The Admiral does this, I’m sure, as a means of making sure Inmates are supervised - but also to see how well certain people might work together.
But a ‘temporary’ pairing still sets the expectation that whatever rapport is built in thirty days will end. That’s what makes it difficult.
Don’t misunderstand. It’s not for lack of experience or basic training - though all of us could probably benefit from something at the outset. It’s more that there is a certain amount of mutual trust and understanding that goes - or should go into Warden-Inmate pairings. And that is very difficult to establish in a month, especially when you know it’s very likely that you will have an entirely different person the following month.
The Admiral does this, I’m sure, as a means of making sure Inmates are supervised - but also to see how well certain people might work together.
But a ‘temporary’ pairing still sets the expectation that whatever rapport is built in thirty days will end. That’s what makes it difficult.
[Cloud rolls his eyes a little when Archer talks about inmates needing supervision. He doesn't need that, he needs...guidance. Then again, there are inmates like Justine and Katie on board, so maybe it's not such a bad idea after all.]
Hm. Doesn't have to end just because the pairing does. I still talk to Ulla and Rawne.
[Ulla in particular has made it a goal of hers to keep up with her temp inmates even after their month together is over, which Cloud appreciates as someone who has a hard time keeping up with people in general.]
Hm. Doesn't have to end just because the pairing does. I still talk to Ulla and Rawne.
[Ulla in particular has made it a goal of hers to keep up with her temp inmates even after their month together is over, which Cloud appreciates as someone who has a hard time keeping up with people in general.]
That’s true.
But there is a difference between continuing an acquaintance or…friendship, as the case may be…and being…responsible.
I knew the last person I was paired with fairly well even before the Admiral made things official - and I was already doing what I thought I could to help him.
But a permanent pairing involves a different sort of…obligation. It means you have been entrusted with the soul of another person, and that is no small thing. And with the stakes being as such…failure is not an option.
Other Wardens may take a different view - but that is how I think of it.
But there is a difference between continuing an acquaintance or…friendship, as the case may be…and being…responsible.
I knew the last person I was paired with fairly well even before the Admiral made things official - and I was already doing what I thought I could to help him.
But a permanent pairing involves a different sort of…obligation. It means you have been entrusted with the soul of another person, and that is no small thing. And with the stakes being as such…failure is not an option.
Other Wardens may take a different view - but that is how I think of it.
[Entrusted with the soul of another person. Cloud's never really thought about it that way before, but then, he's not a warden - he's never had to.]
Hm. Sounds right to me. But what would failure even look like? Zhao Yunlan once told me that as long as I don't disappear, I will graduate, even if it takes a long time. He said anyone can graduate. And I think...that sounds right, too.
Hm. Sounds right to me. But what would failure even look like? Zhao Yunlan once told me that as long as I don't disappear, I will graduate, even if it takes a long time. He said anyone can graduate. And I think...that sounds right, too.
Failure can take many forms. Not being able to meet the need of the person you've been assigned to... Seeing them disappear before they've reached the goal.
The second one hasn't happened to me personally, but I know others it has happened to.
Logically, perhaps, one should attribute something like that to the Admiral - but that doesn't lessen the impact of losing someone who was entrusted to you.
The second one hasn't happened to me personally, but I know others it has happened to.
Logically, perhaps, one should attribute something like that to the Admiral - but that doesn't lessen the impact of losing someone who was entrusted to you.
[ There is a pause as Archer weighs that question. Where he debates how honest he wants to be. ]
…it is always something I am concerned about.
Mostly because I am aware that I have…certain deficits. In terms of how I interact with people.
Both Inmates I was paired with permanently ultimately graduated - but there were certainly times where I felt…out of my depth.
…it is always something I am concerned about.
Mostly because I am aware that I have…certain deficits. In terms of how I interact with people.
Both Inmates I was paired with permanently ultimately graduated - but there were certainly times where I felt…out of my depth.
[ Both of the Inmates he was paired with ultimately graduated. So in that sense, he hasn’t failed. That doesn’t mean the idea of it didn’t haunt him. ]
It is.
[ Archer drains the rest of his glass, then- ]
Was there anything else you wanted to know?
It is.
[ Archer drains the rest of his glass, then- ]
Was there anything else you wanted to know?
Nope.
[Cloud's still sipping at his drink, and makes no move to indicate he's leaving just yet.]
Think I'm gonna stay here for a little while. [A pause.] If...that's okay.
[Sometimes he forgets that he needs permission for existing in certain places.]
[Cloud's still sipping at his drink, and makes no move to indicate he's leaving just yet.]
Think I'm gonna stay here for a little while. [A pause.] If...that's okay.
[Sometimes he forgets that he needs permission for existing in certain places.]
Hey Cloud.
Thanks for standing up for me.
Thanks for standing up for me.
No. He's warned me she's dangerous and violent.
What did she do?
What did she do?
Of course he didn't.
[Sigh.]
He was off by himself like usual, ended up getting frozen. He texted me, so I was on my way to go help him. But...Katie found him first. She attacked him with a hammer, and he couldn't fight back. It was...really brutal. By the time I got there...if it hadn't been Vincent, I would have assumed he was dead.
[Sigh.]
He was off by himself like usual, ended up getting frozen. He texted me, so I was on my way to go help him. But...Katie found him first. She attacked him with a hammer, and he couldn't fight back. It was...really brutal. By the time I got there...if it hadn't been Vincent, I would have assumed he was dead.
[She took in a sharp breath. Vincent was pretty durable...but still.]
What the heck is wrong with this girl...
Wait. Does that mean she also attacked that man on the network too...?
Did Vincent...what the heck...
What the heck is wrong with this girl...
Wait. Does that mean she also attacked that man on the network too...?
Did Vincent...what the heck...
Not sure which man you mean, but I'm sure Vincent's not the only one she's gone after.
I got her away from him, and then after a minute he came out of the room as Chaos. But it's not like we remember it. He can fully control it now, even hold a conversation. Dunno how long it would've taken him to heal from something like that without Chaos. Anyway, he took her to Zero and I went with 'em.
I got her away from him, and then after a minute he came out of the room as Chaos. But it's not like we remember it. He can fully control it now, even hold a conversation. Dunno how long it would've taken him to heal from something like that without Chaos. Anyway, he took her to Zero and I went with 'em.
There was someone who was shouting on the network and bleeding. I'd been about to go but- it looked like he was helped by the end of the call.
[But she winced, hearing what he said. Chaos...came out huh.]
If it was that bad, Katie went overboard.
[She sighs.]
I was going to talk to her on the network but...I'm going to track her down instead.
I'm not letting people get hurt or murdered because she felt like it.
[But she winced, hearing what he said. Chaos...came out huh.]
If it was that bad, Katie went overboard.
[She sighs.]
I was going to talk to her on the network but...I'm going to track her down instead.
I'm not letting people get hurt or murdered because she felt like it.
'Overboard' is one word for it. [His expression darkens.] When I say it was brutal, Aerith, I mean it. I've seen a hell of a lot of combat, but I've never seen anything as pointlessly violent and cruel as this was. Whatever you're picturing, she's worse. No training or anything, just a girl with a hammer, but she's ruthless and canny. And she's got this psychic touch thing, she'll...get into your head, see things in your memories. And she'll wield them like weapons.
I know you got this. Just be careful, okay? Please.
I know you got this. Just be careful, okay? Please.
I believe you.
[Vincent isn't easy to harm normally, but a girl with a hammer could do a lot of harm. And the psychic touch...she doesn't have any defense against that either.
She sighs. This is going to be a hard month.]
I will be careful. I'll even ask Vincent for a backup weapon, and make sure Zack knows where I am.
I'm not taking chances. I promise.
[Vincent isn't easy to harm normally, but a girl with a hammer could do a lot of harm. And the psychic touch...she doesn't have any defense against that either.
She sighs. This is going to be a hard month.]
I will be careful. I'll even ask Vincent for a backup weapon, and make sure Zack knows where I am.
I'm not taking chances. I promise.
Hey Cloud.
So um. I'm not sure how exactly Lark got the idea...maybe it was something that kind of gotten away with me..but he wants to help plan a birthday for me in a couple of weeks.
And I told him you'd help.
Sorry Cloud.
So um. I'm not sure how exactly Lark got the idea...maybe it was something that kind of gotten away with me..but he wants to help plan a birthday for me in a couple of weeks.
And I told him you'd help.
Sorry Cloud.
I actually wanted to plan just my own birthday thing, with a few friends.
This while thing kind of got out of hand and I need some help.
[She sighs.]
I don't really know him. I just know he's Vincent Smith's warden. And he seems to think we need the Enclosure for my birthday. Because I'm popular.
[Which she's really panicking about because! That's some pressure Cloud!]
This while thing kind of got out of hand and I need some help.
[She sighs.]
I don't really know him. I just know he's Vincent Smith's warden. And he seems to think we need the Enclosure for my birthday. Because I'm popular.
[Which she's really panicking about because! That's some pressure Cloud!]
Maybe I should. I'm not sure how to just say...
Like he can watch how it's done?
Normally I'd just politely refuse but...could you tell him I'd be more comfortable planning my own birthday? Or not having one?
I mean...it feels kind of ridiculous.
Can you even celebrate a birthday when you're not alive?
Like he can watch how it's done?
Normally I'd just politely refuse but...could you tell him I'd be more comfortable planning my own birthday? Or not having one?
I mean...it feels kind of ridiculous.
Can you even celebrate a birthday when you're not alive?
text, during the chromatique breach, post-brock breakout
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
punched_hitler
2025-02-03 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Roughly two days after the incident that resulted in the disappearance of a particular dark-haired Interventionist, Cloud receives a text from a blocked number:]
You were there the other day in the blackout block, weren't you. When the Interventionist escaped.
You were there the other day in the blackout block, weren't you. When the Interventionist escaped.
[Cloud feels like there have been entirely too many incidents lately. He would really like them to give him a break, but he also can't stop working because that way lies thinking too much, and he definitely can't afford that. For a variety of reasons, SCI chief among them.
So this text he receives...his first instinct is to ignore it, or even report it to someone. It wouldn't be the first time he refused to play games with some anonymous ne'er-do-well. But no...no, not this time. This time, he just replies.]
So what?
So this text he receives...his first instinct is to ignore it, or even report it to someone. It wouldn't be the first time he refused to play games with some anonymous ne'er-do-well. But no...no, not this time. This time, he just replies.]
So what?
[Fortunately for Steve, this is a burner phone that he can ditch if needed.]
So, you looked like you didn't like the situation.
Before he escaped.
So, you looked like you didn't like the situation.
Before he escaped.
If you're trying to blackmail me, forget it. I'm not playing along.
[Is this one of the traitor Officers who killed Justine? Trying to get rid of him next for whatever reason? Just let them try.
But no, he hadn't liked the situation with that Interventionist. He wasn't in charge of that op, just pulled in to help. And the way the commander handled it...well, it probably would have seemed fine to Cloud a year ago.
He hates this feeling more and more every day.]
[Is this one of the traitor Officers who killed Justine? Trying to get rid of him next for whatever reason? Just let them try.
But no, he hadn't liked the situation with that Interventionist. He wasn't in charge of that op, just pulled in to help. And the way the commander handled it...well, it probably would have seemed fine to Cloud a year ago.
He hates this feeling more and more every day.]
I'm not trying to blackmail you.
I'm just wondering if you're still interested in playing along with the SOPD, after what you've seen.
I understand if you don't want to text. We could just talk. In person.
[Is that risky? Absolutely. But Steve is, admittedly, a risk-taker.]
I'm just wondering if you're still interested in playing along with the SOPD, after what you've seen.
I understand if you don't want to text. We could just talk. In person.
[Is that risky? Absolutely. But Steve is, admittedly, a risk-taker.]
[Shit. That's worse than blackmail. If it's true, anyway.
Once again, Cloud hesitates to go with his instincts and start tracing the call - though it probably wouldn't help, they could at least find the phone and forensics could do some of their magic on it.
But no, he doesn't turn on the tracer. What he really should do is accept the offer and then bring a team with him to arrest these people.
...but will he do that? Or will he step into this for real, regardless of what his brain is screaming at him to do? What a lifetime of clear SCIs tells him is right?
He doesn't have to decide right now. He can agree and then talk to...Fred. He'll ask Fred what he should do. And then do that. Not exactly what anyone - including himself - would expect of the reliable, unstoppable Officer Sunny, but lately he's felt much more like just Cloud.]
Fine. Where and when?
[Even if this is legit, doesn't mean it's not risky. Especially if they're meeting in the Blackout Blocks, which he assumes they will. They could just as easily set a trap for him as he could for them.
But Cloud's never been afraid of risk, and he doesn't intend to start now.]
Once again, Cloud hesitates to go with his instincts and start tracing the call - though it probably wouldn't help, they could at least find the phone and forensics could do some of their magic on it.
But no, he doesn't turn on the tracer. What he really should do is accept the offer and then bring a team with him to arrest these people.
...but will he do that? Or will he step into this for real, regardless of what his brain is screaming at him to do? What a lifetime of clear SCIs tells him is right?
He doesn't have to decide right now. He can agree and then talk to...Fred. He'll ask Fred what he should do. And then do that. Not exactly what anyone - including himself - would expect of the reliable, unstoppable Officer Sunny, but lately he's felt much more like just Cloud.]
Fine. Where and when?
[Even if this is legit, doesn't mean it's not risky. Especially if they're meeting in the Blackout Blocks, which he assumes they will. They could just as easily set a trap for him as he could for them.
But Cloud's never been afraid of risk, and he doesn't intend to start now.]
Edited 2025-02-06 17:29 (UTC)
[Yeah, all right - Cloud is not likely to be surprised when he receives:] Fourth and Pine. Two blocks into the blackout block uptown.
[But it is close to the border, at least. Steve doesn't expect the man to trust someone who wants him to go too far from home.]
There's an old drugstore on the corner.
Noon, in two days?
[But it is close to the border, at least. Steve doesn't expect the man to trust someone who wants him to go too far from home.]
There's an old drugstore on the corner.
Noon, in two days?
[Close to the edge - could be a show of good faith, of a sort. Maybe.]
I'll be there.
---
Cloud does speak with Fred, and ultimately...she encourages him to give it a fair shake, even if she's worried about him going alone. He assures her it's fine, he can handle himself, and he believes it.
And if something goes wrong, well, the SOPD will be all over this place like ants on honey the second they check Cloud's texts via the surveillance network.
Cloud finds himself hoping it doesn't come to that, though.
He shows up a few minutes early, parking his hovercycle a block or so from the border and walking the rest of the way. He does have his taser on him, but not openly, and for once he's out of uniform. Don't want to alarm anyone or call attention to himself.
I'll be there.
---
Cloud does speak with Fred, and ultimately...she encourages him to give it a fair shake, even if she's worried about him going alone. He assures her it's fine, he can handle himself, and he believes it.
And if something goes wrong, well, the SOPD will be all over this place like ants on honey the second they check Cloud's texts via the surveillance network.
Cloud finds himself hoping it doesn't come to that, though.
He shows up a few minutes early, parking his hovercycle a block or so from the border and walking the rest of the way. He does have his taser on him, but not openly, and for once he's out of uniform. Don't want to alarm anyone or call attention to himself.
Steve, too, has gotten there early; the drugstore has gone out of business, but it's not boarded up and he managed to splice the wiring into the nearby breaker so the lights are on and it looks about as inviting as an abandoned building in the blackout block can. He's sitting on the counter, in full view of the door: A tall, muscular blonde with both arms covered in tattoos, flipping a ballpoint pen through his fingers as he waits.
He stops when he recognizes Cloud, though, and stays put where he is so as not to appear threatening.
"Hey. Thanks for agreeing to meet me."
He knows this can't have been easy. He knows it could still be a setup. But he's got contingencies, if it is, and he'd prefer to go into this offering trust, if he can.
He stops when he recognizes Cloud, though, and stays put where he is so as not to appear threatening.
"Hey. Thanks for agreeing to meet me."
He knows this can't have been easy. He knows it could still be a setup. But he's got contingencies, if it is, and he'd prefer to go into this offering trust, if he can.
"Don't thank me yet. Jury's still out on whether this was a good idea."
Cloud doesn't come far into the store - just enough to put his back to the wall by the door. Getting snuck up on while he's paying attention to this guy? No thanks.
"You already know who I am. You got something you want me to call you?" Because asking for his actual name is likely to be a futile effort, and Cloud wouldn't blame him for keeping it back.
Cloud doesn't come far into the store - just enough to put his back to the wall by the door. Getting snuck up on while he's paying attention to this guy? No thanks.
"You already know who I am. You got something you want me to call you?" Because asking for his actual name is likely to be a futile effort, and Cloud wouldn't blame him for keeping it back.
Steve grins a little at that; "I can appreciate the healthy skepticism."
After all, it's a large part of the reason he called the guy here at all. If he hadn't seemed skeptical, he wouldn't be likely to turn on the police.
That grin stays put when the officer asks for a name - well, close enough - while clearly acknowledging it likely wouldn't be the real one. "You can call me Nomad," he says, which is more of an inside joke than anything, and won't mean anything - and, more importantly, won't show up on any official records anywhere. "For now," he adds, because he'd like to eventually get to a place where they could maybe exchange names.
"Look," he finally says. "I know how easy it is to get caught up in what you're doing. To think it's right, without questioning it. I just... I'd like people to think for themselves, a little more. And you seem like a guy who wants to do that. I just want to give you the chance."
After all, it's a large part of the reason he called the guy here at all. If he hadn't seemed skeptical, he wouldn't be likely to turn on the police.
That grin stays put when the officer asks for a name - well, close enough - while clearly acknowledging it likely wouldn't be the real one. "You can call me Nomad," he says, which is more of an inside joke than anything, and won't mean anything - and, more importantly, won't show up on any official records anywhere. "For now," he adds, because he'd like to eventually get to a place where they could maybe exchange names.
"Look," he finally says. "I know how easy it is to get caught up in what you're doing. To think it's right, without questioning it. I just... I'd like people to think for themselves, a little more. And you seem like a guy who wants to do that. I just want to give you the chance."
For now. This guy - Nomad - seems way too...friendly. Not in a fake way, so much as he doesn't seem like the type to be involved in violent criminal things.
And maybe that's the point, but Cloud's still feeling this out.
His chin lifts slightly, his eyes narrow. "Already know how to think for myself, thanks." Who does this guy think he is, anyway?
And maybe that's the point, but Cloud's still feeling this out.
His chin lifts slightly, his eyes narrow. "Already know how to think for myself, thanks." Who does this guy think he is, anyway?
"Which is good," Steve agrees - and he's not making fun. He means it. People need to think for themselves.
"Because I'm assuming that's why you don't like what's going on in the SOPD."
Yes, it's a big assumption. But he dares you to say he's wrong.
"Because I'm assuming that's why you don't like what's going on in the SOPD."
Yes, it's a big assumption. But he dares you to say he's wrong.
Cloud watches him for a long moment, expression unchanging.
"Say I don't." Which is, of course, an admission, if one with the barest sliver of plausible deniability. A little bit of his suspicion fades. "What are you after? You already got that Interventionist out of there, and I'm not looking to follow up. So what else do you want?"
There's less hostility in his tone than the words themselves might suggest. He's treading lightly, but he's listening.
"Say I don't." Which is, of course, an admission, if one with the barest sliver of plausible deniability. A little bit of his suspicion fades. "What are you after? You already got that Interventionist out of there, and I'm not looking to follow up. So what else do you want?"
There's less hostility in his tone than the words themselves might suggest. He's treading lightly, but he's listening.
Admittedly, there's a little twitch of Steve's lips at that. He can't help it; his poker face isn't perfect, and this is already going the way he wants.
He's got hope. That's all he's ever needed to keep him going.
"I'm after more people that are willing to think for themselves. Honestly, that's all. The world is a better place when people don't just follow blindly. Especially when they have doubts."
And sure, yeah, maybe some of those people come over to the blackout blocks and help build up the community there. That would be great. But he knows that's a farther leap of faith than what this guy is going to be willing to take right now.
"I just want you to think. About what you see. What you like. And what you don't like about the way you're living." And making other people live.
He's got hope. That's all he's ever needed to keep him going.
"I'm after more people that are willing to think for themselves. Honestly, that's all. The world is a better place when people don't just follow blindly. Especially when they have doubts."
And sure, yeah, maybe some of those people come over to the blackout blocks and help build up the community there. That would be great. But he knows that's a farther leap of faith than what this guy is going to be willing to take right now.
"I just want you to think. About what you see. What you like. And what you don't like about the way you're living." And making other people live.
Cloud? Hello. This is Will Graham. I wanted to see how you came through that Breach.
It was mostly...emphasizing parts of my life, for me. Being an Interventionist wasn't that far of a leap. How are you holding up?
It was mostly...emphasizing parts of my life, for me. Being an Interventionist wasn't that far of a leap. How are you holding up?
Hi. Um...
[Will Graham...yeah, he knows that guy. The Interventionist who works with Malcolm. Is that his name?
Right, the breach. When he was back in San Otrera. Even here, though, he's gotta keep his head up. So people can keep looking to him as a problem solver. As someone who'll keep their city - or their boat - safe. Even if things aren't the way they should be, he can still do that. Right?
When he replies again, his voice itself hasn't changed, but there's something about the tone, the energy, that's shifted.]
Never better.
[Will Graham...yeah, he knows that guy. The Interventionist who works with Malcolm. Is that his name?
Right, the breach. When he was back in San Otrera. Even here, though, he's gotta keep his head up. So people can keep looking to him as a problem solver. As someone who'll keep their city - or their boat - safe. Even if things aren't the way they should be, he can still do that. Right?
When he replies again, his voice itself hasn't changed, but there's something about the tone, the energy, that's shifted.]
Never better.
[ Will rubs his eyes with his free hand, then moves on to his temples. ]
Yeah, somehow I don't entirely believe that. You're not the Star Officer from San Otrera here. You can be not okay. A lot of people are a mess here.
[ Okay, even he can recognize that he sucks at this right now. The Breach didn't do much for his 'wardenly' attitude. ]
Sorry, I just...things are probably going to be...sliding back and forth for you for a week or a few weeks. You probably have some San Otrera traits still lingering in you.
Yeah, somehow I don't entirely believe that. You're not the Star Officer from San Otrera here. You can be not okay. A lot of people are a mess here.
[ Okay, even he can recognize that he sucks at this right now. The Breach didn't do much for his 'wardenly' attitude. ]
Sorry, I just...things are probably going to be...sliding back and forth for you for a week or a few weeks. You probably have some San Otrera traits still lingering in you.
[Fortunately, it takes a lot to really ruffle Cloud's feathers if your name isn't Sephiroth, so he doesn't take offense at Will's tone or anything. Unfortunately, what Will says just slots neatly right into the gaps between 'then' and 'now.']
No, I can't. I... [He lowers his voice a bit.] Um...you sure this is a secure line?
No, I can't. I... [He lowers his voice a bit.] Um...you sure this is a secure line?
Cloud? Oh gosh, I probably shouldn't have called. It's not really my right anymore, but I'm worried. And so much happened. How are you now that things are back to...normal...?
[ That still doesn't feel quite right to say. ]
Well...normal-ish, I guess? For the Barge.
[ That still doesn't feel quite right to say. ]
Well...normal-ish, I guess? For the Barge.
Fred? What are you talking about? Dunno what your rights have anything to do with calling your brother...maybe I'm the one who should be worried about you.
[Not that he wasn't already, considering...everything.]
As for me, I...
[No, she's already worried. He can't worry her more with the mess of confusion and dread that is his mind right now. He smiles - she can hear it in his voice.]
I'm okay. Aren't I always?
[Not that he wasn't already, considering...everything.]
As for me, I...
[No, she's already worried. He can't worry her more with the mess of confusion and dread that is his mind right now. He smiles - she can hear it in his voice.]
I'm okay. Aren't I always?
(continued from here)
One might think that Cloud ought to be alarmed at suddenly being pulled underwater, but all it does is crank up the intensity further. Cloud falls into these kinds of moments all the time...when Sephiroth is around. Once, he had no choice - Sephiroth invaded his mind and took it over completely, not by way of control so much as simply existing there and occupying every scrap of Cloud's attention, even when he wasn't really present at all.
Now he lets it happen on its own. Willingly allows his mind and body to tune out anything that isn't Sephiroth. It might be scary if he thought about it too hard, but then again, Sephiroth himself has given Cloud every opportunity to back out, and Cloud hasn't taken a single one.
Turns out, he likes it this way.
His eyes stay closed for now. Every sensation seems heightened now that he's holding his breath, as if breathing was just a distraction from what he's feeling. And what he's feeling is...not enough, he realizes eventually, hitting another point of frustration. Once again, there's no need to pull away from Sephiroth's lips to fix it. He lets go of the SOLDIER just long enough to slip one hand between them and unzip his shirt, unbuckle his pauldron with its attached sleeve, and let all of it follow his gloves to the bottom of the pond.
Now bare to the waist, he wraps his arms back around Sephiroth's neck and presses himself even closer with as much of his body as he can.
One might think that Cloud ought to be alarmed at suddenly being pulled underwater, but all it does is crank up the intensity further. Cloud falls into these kinds of moments all the time...when Sephiroth is around. Once, he had no choice - Sephiroth invaded his mind and took it over completely, not by way of control so much as simply existing there and occupying every scrap of Cloud's attention, even when he wasn't really present at all.
Now he lets it happen on its own. Willingly allows his mind and body to tune out anything that isn't Sephiroth. It might be scary if he thought about it too hard, but then again, Sephiroth himself has given Cloud every opportunity to back out, and Cloud hasn't taken a single one.
Turns out, he likes it this way.
His eyes stay closed for now. Every sensation seems heightened now that he's holding his breath, as if breathing was just a distraction from what he's feeling. And what he's feeling is...not enough, he realizes eventually, hitting another point of frustration. Once again, there's no need to pull away from Sephiroth's lips to fix it. He lets go of the SOLDIER just long enough to slip one hand between them and unzip his shirt, unbuckle his pauldron with its attached sleeve, and let all of it follow his gloves to the bottom of the pond.
Now bare to the waist, he wraps his arms back around Sephiroth's neck and presses himself even closer with as much of his body as he can.
Cloud will probably regret letting his clothes drift to the bottom of the pond. Sephiroth won't be fishing them out for him. But that's a frustration later Cloud will have to deal with.
For now Cloud will just have to deal with Sephiroth continuing the kiss, his hands also wandering the now bare skin. He's not too lost in the moment that he'll drown Cloud, but he might push the limits just a little before he brings the both of them to the surface. It'd be too disappointing if Cloud were to die during it all.
After a moment he breaks from the kiss to move to Cloud's neck, trailing down the side and eventually to his chest as though he has to taste every inch. Which might possibly be true right now.
For now Cloud will just have to deal with Sephiroth continuing the kiss, his hands also wandering the now bare skin. He's not too lost in the moment that he'll drown Cloud, but he might push the limits just a little before he brings the both of them to the surface. It'd be too disappointing if Cloud were to die during it all.
After a moment he breaks from the kiss to move to Cloud's neck, trailing down the side and eventually to his chest as though he has to taste every inch. Which might possibly be true right now.
Poor later Cloud, subject to current Cloud's horny whims.
It feels almost unbelievable that this is the first time Sephiroth's ever touched him like this, after having the man's presence in his mind for so long. As if the mental and emotional intimacy - even rage and hatred can be intimate - led them here inevitably. But the sensations themselves are all new, as those strong, elegant hands roam his body and the closeness of Sephiroth's own bare skin takes away all the chill of the lake's dark waters.
Cloud's eyes flutter open briefly when the kiss ends, then close again at the warm, electric feeling of Sephiroth's mouth on the sensitive skin of his neck. His head tilts back automatically to invite more. When those kisses move even lower, Cloud's grasp on Sephiroth shifts, too, until he's almost cradling the man's head against his chest.
A few seconds of this is all they get before Cloud can no longer ignore the need to breathe. He doesn't want to let go, or to escape this embrace, but his body squirms against Sephiroth's in an involuntary little convulsion. This is where the limit begins...but there's still some room to push it from here. Cloud's not drowning quite yet.
It feels almost unbelievable that this is the first time Sephiroth's ever touched him like this, after having the man's presence in his mind for so long. As if the mental and emotional intimacy - even rage and hatred can be intimate - led them here inevitably. But the sensations themselves are all new, as those strong, elegant hands roam his body and the closeness of Sephiroth's own bare skin takes away all the chill of the lake's dark waters.
Cloud's eyes flutter open briefly when the kiss ends, then close again at the warm, electric feeling of Sephiroth's mouth on the sensitive skin of his neck. His head tilts back automatically to invite more. When those kisses move even lower, Cloud's grasp on Sephiroth shifts, too, until he's almost cradling the man's head against his chest.
A few seconds of this is all they get before Cloud can no longer ignore the need to breathe. He doesn't want to let go, or to escape this embrace, but his body squirms against Sephiroth's in an involuntary little convulsion. This is where the limit begins...but there's still some room to push it from here. Cloud's not drowning quite yet.
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